


Cellblocks

by Shit_its_Jezzy



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, BB-8 is emotionally supportive, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Everyone Needs A Hug, Everyone is fine, F/M, Fluff, Hurt Ben Solo, Hurt Finn (Star Wars), Hurt Rey (Star Wars), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Original Character(s), Poe Dameron Is A Mess, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Protective Ben Solo, Redeemed Ben Solo, Soft Ben Solo, Torture, Whump, all aboard the pain train, it's gonna be fun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:27:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 28
Words: 70,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23123221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shit_its_Jezzy/pseuds/Shit_its_Jezzy
Summary: They both notice at the same time.For Rey, its a disturbance in the force, a pull on the bond that she didn't understand but new was wholly wrong. For Finn, it's a pained groan from the cell to Rey's right.Ben.She feels the words before they pass his lips."Rey, something's wrong."Or: Ben, Rey and Finn get captured by bad guys and have a bad time. Meanwhile, Poe is a mess. Lots of angst but there's fluff so it's all fine.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 382
Kudos: 244





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I suddenly felt compelled to write this, I don't know how it happened but it did. I'm thinking there's gonna be 10 or so chapters? I've got 5ish written already but dependant on how this goes I'll post them. I hope you liked it? Things get angsty from here so relish in the fluff while you can.

It was about a year and a half after Exegol, and Rey's life had just about settled down. 

They clashed again Rey felt the rebound behind the action course through her shoulders as their sabres smashed against each other. He was relentless, each flawless blow was followed by another that rivalled the last. Every step he took forward, she took one back, her mind's only focus was deflecting each hit with parries that made her joints ache with effort.

 _Mostly_ settled down.

She was covering ground quickly as his offence pushed her back- she chanced a look over her shoulder and found that they were rapidly approaching the felled tree where both Generals of the Resistance were situated.

Finn and Poe often came to this part of the forest whenever they could. Their newly busy lives as Generals often left them little time relax, so it wasn't unusual for them to want to come to the furthest place from the main base that was classed as habitable.

They were really gaining on her friends now and she could hear the protests of the men at her back growing louder with each backwards stride she made.

"Ben," she warned and it was all she could manage, her breaths coming in short pants from her lips.

Her partner only grinned, his forward advance and crushing blows never ceasing. "Stop me then." The challenge in his voice was easily detectable despite his own breathlessness.

Had all of her focus not been on keeping her footing, she may of shook her head at his blatant recklessness but instead, she steadied her breathing. As he drew back to land his next blow, expecting her sabre to follow his own, she drew her own weapon back- mirroring his own movement. When the two clashed, the force behind each blow meeting between them, the rebound that Rey had become accustomed to was suddenly put on her opponent and it sent him reeling back. She smirked, quick thinking had always been a strength of hers but her success still surprised her. 

Finn and Poe were voicing their gratefulness behind her but their encouragement was cut short when Ben found his footing. 

Rey new he wouldn't take the bait if she pulled the same manoeuvre again so instead of meeting him head on, she closed the distance between her and her friends. The Generals shrieked and dove out of the way as she moved between where the two had sat, pressing her hands to the now vacated wood and vaulting backwards over it- gripping her sabre tightly throughout the motion. She gained a considerable amount of air before she landed in the knee-high grass, what was left of the clearing stretching out behind her.

Ben smirked at her from the other side of the tree before following suit, striding forward to the tree and pressing one hand to the bark, the other gripping his sabre, before leaping over the tree in one smooth motion that, despite his bulk and the power behind the action, was executed with such nimble grace. His boots hit the ground one after the other as he landed with hardened ease on the other side. 

It was quiet then, each opponents eyes never leaving the other as they began to circle, the humming of energy emitting from their weapons was the only sound reaching their ears- even Finn and Poe had stopped their commentary from where they now stood at the side lines. Intensity hung heavy in the air. 

"You're getting better at this." Ben spoke. The space between them was all that kept the two apart- too far for either of them to be able to strike out at this distance but not too far should one of them decide to take a step towards the other. Still they circled.

Rey scoffed, because of course she was getting better. That's what tends to happen if you train near to every day for the better part of nineteen months. "Perhaps you're just getting slow?" She stepped forward then and made a single slash towards him, but he met her half way, deflecting it with one hand. She drew back and they fell back into step. 

He hummed in her direction and closed the distance again in one stride, returning the strike with his own. She deflected easily, little effort was put behind his blow- he was simply testing the water. Frustration shon on her face and the smug look on his told her he knew.

Both had returned to their respectful distances apart as they eyed each other, analysing movements, watching footfall, predicting any and every scenario the other thought of. Each daring the other to make a move. 

Rey struck again, this time angling her swing downward from the left. He deflected again, with the same amount of ease as the last time, almost as if her attempts bored him. 

She made to strike again but he moved in tandem. The two met in the middle, sabres locked together cacophony of buzzing and waning as each pushed with equal force in the direction of the other. 

Rey grunted, this amount of strength was hard to maintain and she had to tighten her impossible grip on her weapon as her opponent pressed harder. The golden light from her sabre illuminated his face, enhancing the sheen of sweat that had beaded at his brow and she knew the deep blue of his was doing the same to her. Their faces were close now and Rey couldn't help but think back to a time of similar circumstances, a time were all she felt from the man in front of her was anger- anger of which she had gladly returned when the crimson of his sabre had grown unbearably hot against her face and the snow that had fallen around them did little to remedy that burning sensation.

_You need a teacher._

She shook the unpleasant memory from her mind, for the man in front of her now was no where near what that man had been. It was ironic really- after all this time, after all their warring and battles, through their arguments and threats, and after their joyous but painful union on that lightning scarred planet, here they stood- him teaching her.

He was smiling. That grin of boyish charm that Rey had grown accustomed to this past year or so. She would of loved to admire it for longer but her grip was slacking again. 

She pushed back

Ben grunted then and Rey felt him lean back slightly before she saw the change in his expression, something that told her he was plotting- that was never a good thing. 

His eyes flashed and he suddenly slid his sabre down the length of hers until hilt met hilt, the crossguard of his catching the edge of hers and Rey could see what was about to happen before it did. 

In one fluid motion, he twisted his sabre against hers and directed their hands upwards. She lost her grip on the hilt she had so tightly grasped, stumbling away from him as it flew from her hands, landing quite a way off in the forest. Her eyes followed it the whole way down and before she knew it, he had advanced on her, sabre deactivated, and pulled her towards him. His arms around her front affectively caged her against his chest. He lowered his head so his mouth was level with her ear, his breath warm against her skin and she can hear the grin in his voice. "I win."

She makes a futile attempt at freeing herself from his grip but his arms only tighten around her. She looks to the side then, to where Finn and Poe had returned to their previous seat to continue spectating, the latter of which is giving her a knowing look- one suggestively raised eyebrow and half a grin that sparks an idea in her mind.

She smirks briefly and stills in Ben's grip before leaning her whole body back against his and she can feel where his heart beats rapidly in his chest. She tilts her head back to look at him through hooded lids, seeing the vague surprise behind his eyes as she stands on her toes to press a kiss to the hollow of his jaw. She tastes the saltiness of sweat there and she allows her lips to linger as his grip slackens and he lets out a long exhale. She smiles against his skin and Ben realises his mistake to late... just as she's driving her now free elbow into his stomach.

She giggles in delight at her victory as her opponent doubles over, crumpling to the ground, the air forced from his lungs. She raises her arms skyward and look to her friends, both of which are whooping and clapping. 

"Go Rey!" That was Finn.

"Did you see that!" She's ecstatic and her eyes are sparkling.

"Yeah, we saw it!" Poe is laughing and Rey doesn't know if it's at her excitement or Ben's defeat.

She deigns them with an over enthusiastic bow before turning back to her partner who's still groaning in the grass, his arms wrapped around his front. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She's still giggling when she kneels next to him, resting a hand to his chest.

"That," he gasps out. "Was definitely... cheating." 

He's still wheezing when she says, "But I won though," she pats his cheek. "And that's what matters."

He's smiling as he swats her hand away and she rises to her feet, looking to her friends again. "That look like a win to you guys? It looked like a win to me."

Ben sits up then, composure regained, dignity... maybe not.

"Looked like a straight win to me." Poe is still radiating glee when he turns to his lover. "How 'bout you Finn?"

Finn looks apologetically to Ben. "Yeah, sorry man," he smiles and shrugs. "Winner's pretty clear from where I am."

Rey turned to Ben again who'd simply grunted and fallen back in the grass at the verdict. She chuckles, leaning over him and offers him her hand. 

He eyes the pre-offered hand for a minute before he sits up, weight braced on one elbow, and reaches up and clasps his hand around hers. 

It never passes Rey's attention at how small her hands always seem when surrounded by his. She moves to pull him up but is surprised when she meets resistance there instead. She looks to his face and suddenly it's her turn to realise her mistake too late as the mischievous look he gives her tells all. The hand engulfing hers pulls her forward and she falls onto his chest with a yelp.

"Ben!" The giggling starts up again as he flips them over so she's beneath him, his torso pressing against hers, successfully pinning her between him and the grass. His forearms press to the ground on either side of her head and dark hair falls around his face as he looks down at her, eyes trained on her parted lips. She knows that devilish look and the intent behind it as he speaks, his voice impossibly low.

"Whatever will you do now?" 

She sees the spark in his eyes again and her hands are already in his hair by the time he's lowered his head and caught her lips in his. 

Ben was always gentle with gestures like this, even in moments like these, moments of such fiery heat and passion. She loved him for his tenderness- though, sometimes, she felt he needed a little encouragement.

She took his lower lip between her teeth and pulled ever so slightly. The sound it drew from him was truly ungodly and she feels heat gathering at her cheeks. He presses his body harder against hers.

The sound of Poe clapping to get their attention brings her out of her trance. "Okay, okay, we get it." They pulled apart then, resting their foreheads together and grinning. "But lets quit while we're ahead. My virgin eyes can't take anymore." 

Ben moves off her then and stood, offering her his hand with a smirk. She smirked in return as she takes his offered hand and he pulls her up with ease.

"Poe, there is _nothing_ virgin about your eyes." Finn deadpanned as she and Ben brushed dirt and grass from each others clothes. 

"Oh, I don't know." Poe turned back to Finn, raising that eyebrow again. "I'm sure there's something we haven't tried yet." He made to move closer to his lover but instead tripped over BB-8 who seemingly appeared out of nowhere, beeping and shrieking. Rey snickered as he stumbled and Finn rolled his eyes, trying- and failing- to hide his smile. 

Poe righted himself, cursing before he realises it was the droid and not his own stupidity that caused his demise- on this occasion. "Buddy!" He hastily sunk to the droids level and began to dust any dirt from him. "When'd you get here?"

The droid beeped, completely ignoring Poe's question as the General's hands drift over his domed head. The pilot's hands still as he listens and he makes a face before turning to Finn with an awkward smile. "Rock, paper, scissors to see who has to go do General duties?" 

The ex-storm trooper across from him grimaced but held out his hand in preparation anyway.

Rey moved her attention away from the two as her mind drifted, wondering where Ben had got to and as to when he had left her side. She turned around and scanned the surrounding trees, eyes searching for that mess of black hair. As she does, she can't help but admire how beautiful this place is.

When Ben had first arrived here on Ajan Kloss, it was safe to say that people were anything but hospitable towards him, but then again they'd expected as much. He'd been unconscious when they first arrived back from Exegol and she'd had to drag him from Luke's x-wing- easier said than done as with his bulk and stature- she would've struggled to lift him on a good day let alone after she'd just fought with one of the most powerful beings in the galaxy and won before dying, then shortly after, getting resurrected by the idiot that had been hanging off her side who'd very nearly killed himself, rendering him in some sort of force induced coma, in the process. They'd been lucky in that most people didn't recognise his face, most only knew him from the mask that she didn't like to think about, so she'd gotten him to the middle of the crowd before the murmurs started. Whispers of a betrayer and a traitor.

Whispers of Kylo Ren.

Rey remembers quickening her paces as much as the dead weight of Ben allowed when the murmurs had grown louder- more ill tempered. They had been nearing the edge of the crowd when a hand on her shoulder wrenched her around. She was greeted with rows of hostile faces. The resistance were a fierce group- she should know as she was one of them- but they were kind at heart. They just wished the best for the ones they loved. To be able to watch the future grow without threat of war or dictatorship, and they were willing to eliminate anything that stood in the way of them and that future. Unfortunately for Rey and Ben, in that moment, the man they saw as Kylo Ren was quite a substantial obstacle. She had positioned Ben behind her as much as she could as the crowd drew closer and if not for the appearance of her friends and their newly standing position as Generals, Rey knew things would of taken a turn for the worst. 

After five weeks of gruelling council meetings, Ben was no longer a prisoner of the Resistance but instead, was given a life's sentence under the watchful eyes of Rey- a sentence she liked to think he was very happy with. However, Ben's newly found freedom meant nothing to the people he would be sharing the planet with. To them he was still Kylo Ren, the mass-murderer and destroyer of planets who still, at the wave of a hand, could order the complete destruction of the galaxy. To them he was still a monster- and they weren't afraid to show their displeasure at his existence. 

Due to his ever-present unpopularity within the base's main body of people, both Rey and him saw it best that, at least for a while, he stay away from others. So he just up and built a house. 

His industriousness had surprised Rey at first but she soon found that this was one of his many traits he had regained with his turn to the light. Now she often found him tinkering was something or other, whether it be his newly created sabre or the ever-repairable Falcon, his hand were always busy.

It was situated in a clearing far enough from the base to be out of harms way but close enough to be safe should anything happen: The structure itself was maybe too small to be classed as a house but too big to be called a hut. It sat towards the back of the space and if not for the odd bit of panelling, of which Rey knew he had stolen from a x-wing but chose to ignore, it looked like it belonged there- in that space. Like it had always been there. He made the space his own and decided to remain here even after his presence on the planet became more welcome and he became a valuable member of the Resistance's main council.

Rey really loved it here. Maybe it was because it was the place was just so covered in green, or maybe it was simply because it was something that belonged to Ben now. Or it was because he was always here.

Her eyes found him then. 

He'd gone to look for her sabre that he'd thrown further into the forest earlier. Rey couldn't help but smile as she watched him lope about in the undergrowth, tripping and stumbling like a newborn animal who had yet to adjust to its too long legs. He jerked a hand towards him with a curse when it caught on something sharp in the grass, nearly falling as he shook the pain from his fingers. 

She couldn't conceal her fond smile as she shook her head- why this man was ever put in charge of ruling the galaxy, she would never know.

She saw his face light up as he reached down to retrieve what she assumed was her sabre and she snorted when he hit his head on a low-hanging branch on his way back up. He tried to conceal his pained cursing as he pressed a hand to the back of his head before her reaction drew his attention. She watched him take a minute to register that she was laughing at him before his expression changed from discomfort to boyish humour and he gave her a foolish, toothy grin to which she only laughed harder. 

It was in silly things like this that stood as a reminder that they couldn't rely on the force to do things for them anymore. Since Palpatine, the both of them found that there was something blocking them from using the force. Whatever it was he did to them was leaving a long lasting effect and Rey found it so frustrating. Because the force was there. She could still feel it, it was right _there_ and yet just out of reach- but only just. Ben was convinced that it would return with time but it might mean that they could be waiting a while. Until then, they would have to find their own lightsabres after recklessly throwing them into the unknown.

She was still trying to restrain her laughter when she heard Poe let out a while of defeat and she turned away from her idiot other half and back to her friends. Poe was half-slumped over the tree they'd been sitting on, pitiful noises passing his lips, muffled by the his arm that covered his face. Finn was looking pleased with himself.

Poe raised his head meekly. "Best two out of three?"

"No, no, no, this was your idea." Finn stood then, grabbing for Poe's hand and dragging him to his feet. "Now go. Begone. Duty calls. Important General things to do." Poe whined again as the other man ushered him in the direction of camp.

"There is nothing important, or General-y, about settling a dispute over who's cooking utensil is who's."

Finn laughed then. "Really? Them _again_?"

"Tell me about it." Poe grumbled before sighing and calling over his shoulder. "Come on buddy, lets go." BB-8 joined Poe at his feet as he started back towards base. "See you guys later. I'd keep up the training though Ben," he had a shit eating grin on his face. "Looks like you're slipping." 

Ben, who now stood at Rey side, her sabre successfully retrieved- though his hand still held the back of his head- grumbled something in the pilot's general direction.

Poe was in the trees by now. "And don't forget the council meeting later, I know you'll all forget!"

"We know!" It was shouted in unison, and laughter along with happy beeping could be heard through the trees. 

...........

Finn knew they'd all forget anyway- they usually did. Timekeeping was no ones forte.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Ben wince and remove his hand from where he had been rubbing at the back of his head. He looked to the hand now in front of his face and frowned at the blood that shone on his fingers. Finn frowned in turn. 

"What'd you do Ben?" He asked, curiosity and concern evident in his tone.

The man in question glanced away from his hand to Finn and was opening his mouth to speak when Rey intersected him. 

She now stood in front of her partner, lowering the hand from his face and studying the blood there. The man looked to Finn for aid, not wanting to be a victim of Rey's scrutiny but Finn simply smiled at him, revealing in the other mans misfortune. She huffed out an exhale before looking up at him, Finn noted how she had to tilt her head back to meet Ben's gaze, the distance between them reminded him of how tall the man actually was. He was a good head taller than Finn so Rey seemed smaller than she actually was when standing near her partner.

Ben smiled sheepishly under her inspection - Finn didn't think he would ever get used to such humanity from the man who had been single handily responsible for the near death of the people that now surrounded himself with but, over this last year or so, Finn had come to terms with the fact that Ben solo was nothing like the man he had been- this man was nothing like Kylo Ren. In fact, Finn may have even gone as far as to say that the expression on Ben's face was familiar: he was often injuring himself in one way or another and it had taken Finn a long time to fully accept the fact that a previous Supreme Leader and destroyer of worlds was actually clumsy. It wasn't an uncommon occurrence to see him trip or stumble before hurriedly trying to right himself when he though no one was looking. 

Rey rolled her eyes at bens apparent stupidity and kept ahold of his hand as she started back towards the house, Ben following behind her. Finn thought he heard her mutter something about Ben's 'lack of spacial awareness' as he followed behind the two. When they reached the structure near the edge of the clearing, Rey finally let go of Ben's hand and pointed to the steps that lead up to the house. "Sit." 

"Rey, I'm fine. Really. Look-" He pressed his palm to his head again and found no more blood there. "It's stopped bleeding already."

Rey had disappeared into the house but her voice was still clear. "Sit down, Ben."

Ben new better than to argue over something he knew he'd loose, especially when Rey was concerned, so he sat. 

No one liked to argue with Rey, she gets really scary when she's angry, so most just tried to avoid confrontation altogether. Of course, Poe came outside of that majority, he argued with whoever, and rivalled Rey in ferocity when doing so. 

Finn moved towards where several chairs sat under the overhang of the roof and grabbed one before dragging it over to the ashen fire pit situated near the front steps. He sat, looking to Ben who still waited obediently.

"She's got you whipped." He grinned, leaning back in the chair.

Ben braced his forearms on his knees and shrugged. "Yeah, she has."

Rey returned then, three bottles under one arm and a cloth draped over the other- a bowl of water held by both hands. She set the bowl down before tossing Finn a bottle, putting the other two to the side as she sat on the highest step behind Ben. 

Finn thanked her before twisting the lid and taking a drink. He was grateful for the cool liquid in this heat- days here on Ajan Kloss were always hot. The humidity was bearable and the worst of the suns rays were blocked by he trees but out here in the clearing, it was pretty warm to say the least. How these two managed to spar every day baffled him.

Ben reached an arm behind him and Rey pushes the second drink into his hand. He downed the whole thing in one and set the empty bottle at his feet. Rey raised an eyebrow before taking the third and nudging his at shoulder with it. Ben turned his head and eyed the offer before looking to Rey in question, knowing that last one was meant for her. She nodded and he thanked her before taking the bottle, drinking half of it before setting it to the side. 

Finn watches as Rey returns her attention to the task at hand. She moves her hand to the back of bens head. "Where'd it get you?" She asks, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Ben moves his hand back and indicates to the area as Rey dampens the cloth with one hand- the other is trying very hard to keep bens unruly hair where she wants it. He winces when the material first makes contact with his skin- Rey does the same at his reaction and apologises before continuing- but he's otherwise quiet as she works.

Finn has finished his drink by the time he reiterates his previous question. "What did you do?" 

Ben, who hand been frowning at the ground, looks to Finn. "I hit my head."

Finn chuckles. "Yeah, I gathered that much. What'd you hit your head on?"

Rey pipes up having finished tending to the wounded. "He forgot how ridiculously tall he is and hit his head on a not-so-low hanging branch." She's shuffled forward by now and has latched herself to Ben's back, legs wrapped around his waist and her arms round his neck.

"Is that right?" Ben says, enclosing a hand around one of hers at his chest.

"Yep." She says, her head by his ear.

Finn snickers. "So the usual then?" 

Ben picks up his empty bottle and throws it at Finn. It hits the ex storm trooper in the chest and he smirks, gearing to throw it back at him.

"Hey, hey, that's enough- I don't want to fix anymore heads today." Rey warns Finn, patting bens shoulder as she untangles herself from his torso. "You're fine by the way."

"I was fine before." He rises once Rey is standing and disappears into the house.

Rey moves to take one of the other chairs from where Finn retrieved his and drags it over to his left before slumping into it. "What's this thing about cooking utensils?"

Finn laughs and shakes his head. "It's really not that exciting and _totally_ not worth the long story that goes with it."

Rey grimaces. "That bad?"

"I don't even know the whole story and thankfully, I don't have to," Finn laughs and it's almost a cackle. "They're Poe's problem now."

They're laughing when Ben appears in the doorway and descends the steps before making he way over to the workbench to the left of the house. The table is sheltered by a weather-warn tarp, pulled taught between three trees above, the surface itself it littered with various parts, wires and electrical components, that Finn really hopes are spare- Rey's scavenger days resurface from time-to-time and occasionally the odd pipe or panel go missing from camp, only for Finn or Poe to find them somewhere in the foundations of bens house the next day.

Finn watches as Ben halts by Rey on his way over and hands her a bottle- A replacement for the one that was meant for her that he'd drank instead. Rey manages to control her laughter long enough to thank him before she starts up again and he makes for the workbench, light sabre in hand- the intention of fixing or making additions to it is clear in the way his eyes immediately scan the vast collection of junk that covers the surface.

Finn remembers back when Ben and Rey had first started to make their new sabres. Remembers how Rey had teased her other half for keeping the crossguard design, claiming he only kept it because he thought it looked cool. Ben had tried hard to convince her otherwise, claiming that it was for tactical use only- of course there was some truth in it, but the real reason was apparent within their little group.

The three of them stay that way for a while- he and Rey idly chatting about idle things, Ben occasionally chipping in if he felt the need to comment or correct them from where he stands at the workbench, hands occupied with his sabre- the weapon itself had been dissembled into three parts as he examines something at its core.

"So how's the whole force thing coming along?" Finn wiped sweat from his brow- It had grown ever hotter around midday and he had ventured inside the house to get everyone more water before returning with three more bottles. The two voiced their replies at the same time.

"Good."

"Awful."

Finn raised his eyebrows, glancing between the two of them, nodding. "Right."

Ben turned around then, putting his lightsabre, now assembled into only two parts, on the table behind him. "It's going _good_." He moved away from the table to sit on the ground across from Rey, who had her head tilted to the side and eyes squinted as if to say, _Really_? "It is," he continued, leaning back on his hands, his expression genuine. "We've made pretty good progress these last weeks."

"I wouldn't call it progress." Rey grumbled.

"I would." Ben was smiling at her childishness.

Finn wasn't completely sure how the whole force thing between them worked but he knew that since Exegol, both Rey and Ben had been really struggling with it. He recalls Rey telling him and Poe the details when they had demanded a explanation as to why she had made the bold decision to bring the mortal enemy of the Resistance right into the heart of the organisation. She had tried her best to explain- something about the dead emperor Palpitine and her and the newly reformed Ben Solo teaming up to defeat him before Ben used the majority of his life force to revive her after her apparent death- Finn knew the story went much deeper than that but at the time, he had been too enraged at Rey's rash decision making to pick at her retelling. Ben had still been unconscious then, the conversation had taken place at his bedside as Rey had refused to leave him or let go of the grip she had on his hand. When he didn't wake after two days, Rey took action and set to waking him herself. Whatever it was that she did drained her of her ability to wield the force and upon his return to the land of the living, Ben found that whatever he sacrificed for her had done the same.

Now that he thought about it, Finn couldn't recall either of them used the force at all since then.

He shook his head, clearing his mind before asking, "How so?"

Ben had stretched his legs out in front of him, the breeze had disheveled his hair and he pushed it from his face as he answered. "Well, the bond is starting back up again." 

Now that was something Finn knew lots about- Poe had made Rey explain it in detail when the whole resurrecting thing hadn't been enough to convince him that Kylo Ren was suddenly nice. 

"That's great!" He'd raised his hands in exclamation but lowered them when he looked to Rey and found her looking unimpressed. "Isn't it?" He looked to Ben in confusion. " _Isn't it_?"

Rey nodded with little enthusiasm and looked to Finn. "Yes, its great. It's definitely great," she smiled at Ben. "But It's been over a year and we can only just feel it. It's only just there. We did more with it in the beginning, back when we didn't know what we were doing, and didn't actually want it, than we can now. Now we have to work on something that's supposed to come naturally, so pushing for it just feels wrong." 

Finn sympathises with her, despite his lack of knowledge force-wise, he can piece together why something like that could be frustrating.

She looks down, fiddling with an empty bottle in her hands. "And it's just not working." She sighs then and it seems unintentional. She pauses before looking up- an apologetic smile on her face. "Sorry, I just have _zero_ patience when it comes to this."

Ben shuffles forward so he's sat at her feet, his hand on her leg, thumb brushing her knee. He looks up at her. "Just give it time." Rey looks down at him fondly, mirroring his expression. 

The look they share makes Finn think of Poe. He hopes that wherever he is, someone is bothering him about something small and insignificant- Finn knows how worked up he gets over little inconveniences and it's always amusing to watch. He's suddenly very aware of the chain around his neck and the ring that hangs off it. The proposal had been expected for a while now and yet the joint decision still seemed spontaneous. A heat of the moment action that they _definitely_ hadn't been planning weeks in advance to decide an exact date and time. Definitely not. He smiles to himself, he'd discovered quickly that that usually happened when he thought of him.

Pushing those thoughts to the side, Finn imagines Rey is about to press a kiss to Bens forehead when a noise to his right draws his attention. His friends turn their attention towards the noise in unison. Something in the air makes the atmosphere suddenly uneasy and Finn feels his hair stand on end. 

The three are on their feet as a figure Finn doesn't recognise emerges from the tree line. He's spares a quick glance to his comrades, Rey looks to be feeling similar to him but Ben- Ben has gone pale. That's a bad sign of he's ever seen one..

The stranger stops when he breaches the clearing and all Finn can take in is the unsettling smile on his face as he speaks-

"Well what's this then?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thickening plot??? If you could call it that?

No one moves.

Rey didn't need the remnants of the bond, of which there was an overwhelming sense of dread from Ben, to figure out that this guy was not welcome. 

He's tall- Rey thinks he's as tall as Ben, as young as him too, but she can't tell from where he stands away from them, his back to the forest that stretches behind him- clad head to toe in padded black apparel that Rey knows must be for combat, each one of his joints are covered by metallic plating that catches in the sun but somehow manages to absorb the light instead of reflecting it back. His gloved hands are half obscured by his arms as he tucks them under either one in a relaxed stance that really didn't suit the current tenseness in the air.

Like the three of them, the stranger had said nothing since his opening line that Rey knew he didn't think he get an answer to. His eyes move from each of them- taking in the sight of Finn, whose hand had moved to the blaster at his waist, before dragging his gaze to Rey. His scrutiny lingered on her long enough to make her shift on her feet and she squared her shoulders before glaring- something he seemed to find amusing as his grim smile widened, lips parting to show his yellowed teeth. Rey was about to take a step forward but Ben was there first, positioning himself half in front of her and she could see how tense the muscles in his back were through his shirt as he spoke, his breathing even.

"Why are you here?"

His tone caught her off guard, she looked to him and hardly recognised the face she found there: his expression was stone cold and his voice hostile, threatening in a way Rey hadn't heard for a very long while. She couldn't stifle her thoughts that told her that his whole demeanour was the closest thing akin to a mask possible without him crowning his head with a broken helmet he'd long since lost. Ben knew who this guy was and if that didn't set off immediate alarm bells in her head, his current state did.

"I'm here for you, dearest friend." The guy shrugged and wiped sweat from his brow, the gesture was human when it shouldn't be. "In case you hadn't noticed, you caused quite the uproar when you went rouge, turned to wrong side." He squinted at the sun. "In fact, your actions were responsible for the almost single handed downfall of the First Order, so, as you may of guessed," he lowered his gaze back to Ben and flashed him a smile. "Your a wanted man."

Bens glare intensified- and it was worrying.

Rey looked to Finn briefly and saw the concern he directed in bens direction, informing her that he was thinking the same. They shared a brief look before Rey put a hand to bens elbow, finding it just as tense as the rest of him. She spoke quietly.

"Ben."

A quiet exhale followed a pregnant pause as he regarded her touch, the contact grounding him and she imagined that if he could, he would be sending his gratitude down the bond- he equally, if not more, didn't want this to happen, didn't want to loose himself in the darkness that had tormented him all his life, just as he had in the past.

The outsider had been quietly observing this scene from where he stood away from them, regarding her hand at bens arm, taking in the close proximity between them and the loving look she gave him.

Her attention went back to him when she heard him let out a surprised huff and found his eyes widening.

"So this is the her?" He looked to Ben and she could see the muscles in his jaw working to keep his mouth closed as excitement spread on the other mans face. "This is the girl?" He stared for a moment longer. "I gotta say," he shrugged. "Not what I expected."

Rey glared at him again and he mocked fear, taking a step back- his grin could be heard as he spoke, words draw out. "That look though." His gaze moved to Ben slyly. "You feel like sharing?"

She could feel that Ben was about to snap, anger positively rolling off him as he attempted to reign in his temper, heels digging into the dirt at his feet. If not for her touch, he would of been gone already. Finn wasn't doing too well either, the hand that he'd rested on his blaster throughout this confrontation was now clenched around its grip, thumb poised on the safety. 

"Now, that's something-" the stranger taunted, his distasteful smile growing impossibly wide. "The wrath of the mighty Kylo Ren, stilled by the simplest touch." He shook his head gleefully. "Either I've greatly underestimated how far you've fallen, Ren, or I've made a stupendous error when taking into account the strength of your hold on him." His eyes were back on Rey.

She ground her teeth as she spoke, her voice raised but controlled.

"What do you want?"

He didn't acknowledge her and his eyes moved her right, to Finn, looking him up and down. "Now, I have no idea who you are-" he chuckled, excitement still stirring in his eyes as he looked back over his shoulder, into the trees behind him. "But we've really hit the jackpot here!"

Rey held her breath as she took in who that last bit was directed at, as three others emerged from the trees and flanked their apparent leader. They all had similar attire to Asshole number one, with the exception of the fact that these three had black masks- the dark, metallic plating covered the whole face apart from a thick band of black matted metal, stark over where Rey assumed eyes should be if they were actually human, that curved to the contours of each one.

The new three each reached over their shoulders in unison and retrieved weapons that she could only compare to swords, the blades on each one spat and crackled with energy that Rey didn't want to go near. To her right she heard Finn curse as he pulled his blaster from its holster and Rey reached for her lightsabre at her waist before remembering she didn't have it- what she slaught was currently still hanging off bens belt, his was on the table behind them and Rey had a sinking feeling that it was still in pieces. 

"Both the bitch and her dog." 

The leader's face was suddenly void of emotion. "Prioritise the girl, get the other if you can." He looked to Ben. "Leave Ren to me."

He stepped forward and it was enough- things went south from there.

...........

Finns vision was suddenly clouded as Ben kicked up ash from the pit at their feet, shrouding them momentarily to buy them some time- though Finn doubted that it would make much difference. They were outnumbered, not by much, but he didn't know how good these guys were and dependant on that, it could make all the difference. 

The three of them backed up away from the cloud and, in his peripheral, he saw Rey grab her lightsabre from where it hung at bens side as the other man turned and ran to the workbench behind them, hands searching for something he couldn't see. Rey made a fighting stance at Finns side, golden light now illuminating her face as her sabre hummed in her grip- she flexed her fingers around the hilt. He vaguely wondered as to why Ben was yet to be at Rey's side, but the thought was forgotten as he raised his blaster to eye-level, focus trained on the parting ash in front of him. They still couldn't see past it but the rapidly approaching sound of pounding boots on firm earth were growing nearer and they came into view before the air cleared. 

The three masked figures broke though the dust at break-neck speed and lunged at the awaiting two. Finn fired twice at the attacker in front of him and dispite the momentum behind his run up, he managed to avoid both- ducking to the left to dodge the first and sliding in that direction avoid the second that was a hair away from grazing his arm. Finn followed him in that direction and fired another shot that was sidestepped with ease, the bolt singing the dirt and blackening the grass as it landed. 

Behind him he was aware of Rey slicing with wild precision at her attackers, pushing her own fight towards the the trees that flanked the right of the house. Despite the two on one conflict she was faced with, she seemed to be holding her own, though that didn't surprise him- the endless training with Ben was really showing through as she fought on the offensive all the while being able to switch defence at a moments notice when either of the two masked attackers decided to try a quick slash or strike in her direction. 

So, including his own, that was three accounted for.

Finn didn't realise how close he'd gotten to his own opponent and barley ducked in time to strafe a swipe of that buzzing blade aimed at his chest.

So where was the fourth?

He was evading another strike when his question was answered.

A grunt from behind him drew his attention to Ben who was now faced with the fourth assailant. Unarmed. Finn could see where his sabre had fallen- a singular red wire was all that connected the two pieces that he'd been trying assemble under great pressure- at the foot of the table after being knocked from bens hands when the leader of the group had attacked him from the side, catching the ex Supreme Leader off guard and throwing him off-balance. Ben's back was forced against a tree and Finn could see his chest heaving with effort as he gripped the wrists of the man that was currently trying to push a buzzing knife into the flesh bellow his eye- all the while, the man behind the blade was grinning with bloodlust as the tip breached skin and Ben had to turn his head at the last minute to avoid it going through his skull. The blade carved a thin line in Ben's cheekbone before it hit the tree at his back, embedding itself in the wood. The leader had a weapon similar to the blades of his comrades stowed across his back and yet he still chose the knife.

He was toying with him.

Ben drove his knee into the mans groin and threw him to the side. 

Finn had to direct his attention back to his own problems then as in his distraction, his attacker had knocked the blaster from Finn's hand before smashing the hilt of his blade into his jaw. 

He stumbled backwards in his daze, and through the ringing in his ears, he thought he could hear Rey call his name from across the clearing- her words were followed by the sound of her lightsabre making contact with something but Finns slowly focusing vision only had eyes for the leg that moved to sweep his feet from under him. 

He acted too late.

He grunted as his back met the ground and he had to squint against the too bright sky that now filled his vision. He rolled his head against the ground in an attempt to shake the blur away- he saw Ben again then.

His friend looked to be winning- blood from his opponent's brow now shone on his knuckles, the knife that the other had wielded was nowhere to be seen- probably lost to the dense undergrowth that they edged in and out of. The leader was hunched slightly as he held a bloodied hand to his side, still reeling from a punch that Finn didn't see. Ben had adjusted his footing and was drawing his arm back to strike again when Rey called from across the clearing- his arm stilled mid swing.

"We've got a problem over here!"

There were more figures now, much more than any side effect of double vision could produce and Finn could see Rey beginning to get overwhelmed, yellow light left trails in its wake as she began swing frantically, desperately trying to deflect the myriad of attacks sent her way. One attack in particular hit a tree behind Rey when she rolled at the last minute, the force behind the blow taking a sizeable chunk with it and the wood groaned as it struggled to support itself. The remaining part of the trunk snapped and splintered before the rest of it listed to one side and fell, narrowly missing the house and instead crushing the chairs that he and Rey had laughed in earlier.

There was a crash and clatter of objects that drew Finns now swimming vision towards Ben. The leader had taken advantage of the new distraction and regained his hold on the fight. He straightens his hunched posture and headbutts Ben, who is only just registering the pain behind the impact, before throwing him across the workbench, spare parts fly in every direction as he try's to slow his forced momentum. Ben hits the ground on the other side and the surface topples before following suit, obscuring him from sight.

He doesn't rise then.

Finn can feel a fist at the collar it his jacket and then he's being dragged. He raises his arms with the intention to fight back against his attacker but, in his somehow worsening daze, its executed more as a desperate flail and he can do nothing as he's suddenly dropped again. 

His eyes are closing against his will when leader starts walking towards him, favouring one leg, his hand still presses against the red that's stopped spreading at his side.

In his darkness he hears the masked on speak. "Sir, do we need this one?"

Finn tenses as the leader thinks, pondering whether or not he is worth the trouble. He hears him draw in a breath and it sounds like it hurts- Finn hopes it does.

"Well, we have the girl as well now so he doesn't really matter-"

Rey. Finn hadn't registered that fact that he had stopped hearing the waining and humming of her sabre a while ago, but he does now. Dread pools in his stomach.

"But a little more leverage never hurt anyone." He chuckles at the irony before moving onwards. "Someone grab Ren- let's move out!"

The fist is back at Finns jacket and he's being dragged again, but the guy pulling him doesn't make it all of two steps before there's a sudden sound of igniting energy and deep blue light penetrates through his closed lids. 

Finn feels the whoosh of air as the sound of bens sabre slicing through flesh and bone encompasses everything. He can smell muscle burning before he's dropped, two separate thuds follow and Finn can hear shouting and approaching, heavy footfall- and there's too many- along with lowered words from Ben that he thinks are directed at him but he can't quite make them out.

Movement from every direction tells Finn they're surrounded, Ben doesn't last long after that and that deep blue light falls to the ground as the darkness Finn had been seeing for these last minutes finally takes hold.

Yeah, there's no way they're getting to that meeting on time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a little longer to come out than I wanted because this chapter was unplanned but I felt that it was necessary.
> 
> I guess it's kinda plotty? I've deducted that fight scenes are hard to write so sorry if it was a bit shitty.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it! Next chapter soon in which no one has a good time!


	3. Chapter 3

This was beginning to become tedious. 

The stone was cold beneath her and the hardness of it was making her legs cramp as she sat, legs crossed with her back back to the furthest wall. The light in the corridor that bisected her cell from Finns served as the only source of illumination in the room and despite Rey's understanding that being able to see your surrounding was important, especially in this situation, the constant flicker that it omitted was becoming strenuous on her eyes and she was starting to think that she'd be better off without it. She knows that the dull ache behind her eyes will morph into something more bothersome if it continues to blink incessantly.

Very tedious.

The Co-General of the Resistance sits across from her, mirroring her posture in his own cell. He has his eyes closed , brow creased- another victim to the light between them. He's sporting a bruised jaw and split lip that Rey knows must be sore, but when she had asked if it hurt he'd said otherwise, assuring her that he was fine and that she should be more worried about the burn across her cheek and the new notch in her ear.

It's been at least three hours since they woke and though she's still unaware of how long it was that they slept for, she's beginning to tire again, giving her the assumption that night must be drawing in. At least it would be if they were still on Ajan Kloss- maybe they were, they could be anywhere for all she knows. Rey sighs.

"Have they replied yet?" She rests her head against the wall behind her. 

"No." Finn chuckles. "No, it doesn't work like that." Rey had been overjoyed to say the least when Finn had decided that it was the right time to mention that he had a destress beacon on his person. She'd simply gaped at him for a moment before spluttering out questions as to why he hadn't mentioned this earlier and how he'd kept it from their captors, never actually leaving he time to reply as she rambled on.

It was tiny in his hand, no bigger than her thumbnail and she had to squint to see it from the distance between them. A small light on its side blinked red every second or so, the tell tale sign of the signal that it projected was active. Finn continued.

"Poe has the other one but there's no way of sending or receiving a message through either of them." He pauses before smiling. "I wouldn't worry though- I mean this is Poe we're talking about. The guy gets worried if I'm late coming home, he was probably waiting by his one of these the minute he left with BB-8." He thinks on this a little longer before his smile fades. "I hope he's okay," Finn closes his palm over he transmitter. "He always works himself up over these things."

Rey gives him a comforting smile."I'm sure he's fine."

The corners of his mouth edge up slightly but the look in his eyes tells Rey all she needs to know. She looks to change the subject. "How come I didn't get one of those?"

Finn puts the device back in his boot. "We did offer you one."

Rey sends him a puzzled look. "I don't think you did."

"We definitely did."

Her expression remains the same. "When?"

He thinks for a moment before answering. "After Exegol and the whole you bringing the Supreme Leader-"

"Ex-Supreme Leader." She corrects him.

"Ex-Supreme Leader," his smile is back again. "Home thing had died down. We were celebrating- it was a festival or someone's birthday, " he waves a dismissive hand. " I can't remember, but you'd been drinking, " he chuckles again and she's the one that smiles this time. "You were in strong denial about it, claiming that you and Ben were strong enough and didn't need it." It comes back to her then and she vaguely recalls trying to lift Ben- emphasis on 'trying'- before he had lifted her in an effortless motion claiming that they should probably call it a day.

"Poe slipped one to him when you weren't looking so between the two of you you've got one somewhere."

She remembers laughing uncontrollably for no reason in particular the whole why home, her arms wrapped around his neck, face pressed to his shoulder that jostled every now and them when she did something particularly stupid and he couldn't help but laugh. She remembers him helping her to bed, removing her shoes and attempting to aid her in getting her clothes off, her arms flailing, laughing at her incompetence a she struggled to do anything that required her to even remotely think about it before hand. She remembers her lewd comments and wandering hands, remembers him gently returning her arms to her sides, still laughing, claiming that she was way too out of it to be doing anything like that. Remembers him laying her down in their bed that was to small for two, let alone Ben, before crawling over to settle behind her, pressing his chest to her back. Remembers the feeling of his arms around her, his lips resting at the nape of her neck, his legs intwined with hers before failing asleep with a smile on her face.

She's brought back to reality then and she tries to block out the recent memories of the last interaction she'd had with him. Finn expression reads the same as she meets his eyes, her voice hesitant when she asks.

"How is he?" 

Finn just stares at her for a moment, almost stalling before he wordlessly rises to his feet, joints popping with disuse, and moves to the front of his cell. Rey watches as his eyes take in the view of the cell to her right before he shakes his head, the gesture soft. "The same." He looks to her then back to her right. "No change."

He hadn't stirred since the guards drugged him- Rey didn't actually see this this happen but heard the commotion. 

The slam of what Rey imagined was a body being forced against the wall to her right is what woke her in the first place, the impact hard enough to make the bars lining the front of her cell shake.

"Why am I here?" A voice seethed and Rey recognised it immediately. His words were slurred slightly but the threat in them was unwavering and Rey could practically feel the intensity of his glare through the physical divide that separates them. 

"Ben!" She was fully awake at that point, the daze caused by unconsciousness shaken from her mind and she rose, crossing the short distance to the cell door. She briefly takes in her surroundings then, or more precisely, Finn. Her panic at his still form is short lived as she sees his chest rise and fall before an unfamiliar chuckle reaches her ears. Another slam sounded and the bars she gripped in her hands shook before she got a reply, his voice much softer. 

"Rey?"

Instant relief washed over her and she was suddenly very thankful for the bars in front of her as her knees grew weak and she smiled. The moment was short lived though as when she opened her mouth to speak again and a door that she can't see to her left opened with great force that made it swing back on its hinges, the sound of it impacting the wall was like gunfire to her ears as it echoed around the room, bouncing off every surface. 

Obviously having the registered the commotion, a singular pair of footsteps neared the cells and a man came briefly into view- he wore the same black as the assholes from the forest had but there was no mask on his face, perhaps he was one of them, she couldn't tell. He barely graced her with a side-glance as he passed her cell on route to bens. he was out of sight when the sound of a blaster humming to life attracted her full attention. 

"Release him Ren." His voice was smooth and toneless.

When Rey hears no movement from Ben, the unmistakable sound of the safety clicking off fills the room.

"Put him down."

She heard nothing change on Bens part but the guard against the wall drew in a sharp breath and she imagined Ben pushing him harder against the stone. The one with the gun let out a frustrated sigh before moving into Rey's line of sight again. She watched his gaze never leave Ben before he tossed the blaster to his other hand and levels it with an outstretched arm to Rey's head.

And pulled the trigger. 

She was distantly aware of the noise of the shot leaving the blasters barrel, of Ben shouting her name, but the feeling of singing heat burning the flesh at her cheek blocked out everything else as it flew past her face, catching the edge of her ear as it does.

The air in her lungs was released as she yelped, flinching backwards, hands coming up to press to the side of her face, the pressure had stung.

Ben was still shouting for her when the guard finally turned to face her, his exsprission stone cold. "Tell him you're not dead." The blaster was still trained on her as she regained her breath, lowering one hard from her face so she could make a fist at her side. She glared at him but he remained disinterested. 

"Ben it's okay," her ear had throbbed and she winced. "I'm fine."

The guard blinked once before turning back to the other cell. Rey saw him pull something that looked alot like a syringe out of his pocket and watched as he tossed it to his left. She didnt hear in hit the ground so Rey assumed that the other guard, free of bens grip, had caught it.

He looked in bens direction, he gestured to the other guard and what Rey assumed is the object in his hands. "Now this is going to happen one way or another so I'd quit while you're ahead." 

"If you fucking touch her-" She heard Ben start forward but the blaster fired another shot that Rey didnt expect but managed to dodge. It fizzed in the wall behind her, and she could smell the ozone in the air. He stopped his advance then, his threats dying in his throat. The guard regarded him for a second more before nodding to his partner.

There was a short scuffle from inside the cell and Rey didn't know if she was grateful for bens reluctance to do as he's told. Ben hissed, in what Rey identified as pain. Then the struggle subsided before stopping all together and concern began to build in Rey as she saw the other guard exit the cell: his clothes crumpled and hair disheveled but he was otherwise unharmed. The grin on his face told Rey who the victor was.

Rey's mind raced with possibilities and she longed to witness the sene she couldnt see.

"What did you do?" She hadn't meant for it to come out as quiet as it did but she couldn't manage anything louder.

She remembers Bens deep breaths begin to slow before he lost his footing and his knees cracked against the floor when his legs gave out, the sound made her cringe.

"What did you do?" She said again, louder. Both guards ignored her, starting their own conversation instead.

"How much was in that one?" The disheveled guard looked to the empty syringe in his palm, his brow creased as he attempted to read text that Rey knew made no sense to him. 

"No clue." The other guard had lowered his blaster from her head by then. He looked to Ben for a minute more before turning to leave. "He'll be out for a while," he was talking to her then. he raised his voice slightly when he put distance between them. "Make yourself comfortable."

Finn woke about ten minutes after that. Those minutes that consisted mainly of Rey trying, unsuccessfully, to reach Ben through the force before giving up and attempting to rouse her still unconscious friend.

Finn was about to return to his previous spot when it happens.

They both notice at the same time.

For Rey, its a disturbance in the force, a pull on the bond that she didn't understand but new was wholly wrong. For Finn it's a pained groan from the cell to her right. 

Ben. 

"About time." Finn says.

Rey finds herself inching towards the wall the separate her form Ben- eager to hear his voice telling her that he's okay, that everything's fine. She searches fnns face for any sign of alarm and sighs in relief at the expression on his face but that joyous feeling crumbles when that expression changes, leaving only uncertainty and something Rey really hoped wasn't panic. She felt the pull at the bond again as Finn dragged his gaze from the other cell back to her before another, more drawn out, groan from Ben draws his gaze back. 

She feels the words before they pass his lips. 

"Rey, something's wrong."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait, heavy editing was needed because m stupid. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Oh, Something was very wrong. In all the time he had known him, if there was one thing that Finn knew about Ben Solo, was that the guy was boarder-line invincible. This was the guy that had suffered though torments under both snoke and palpatine and survived. This was the guy that, back on starkiller, used his own pain as fuel to cut down his once true enemy before actually _dying_ for her not two years later. In Finn's books, if will-power had a face, it would be Ben Solo. 

Maybe that was why the scene in front of him shocked him so much- because the guy sprawled on the floor in front of him, was anything but that. 

"Finn, what's happening." The panic in Rey's voice brought him back to reality and he turned to answer her but the sudden quickening of Ben's breathing directed his sight right back. He tried to reply to her, even going as far as to open his mouth to speak, but the sight before him-

Rey spoke again, more urgent this time. "Finn I cant see what's happening but I can feel that something's wrong, please tell me what's happening to him." He could feel her trying to be patient with him but the desperation in her voice shone through and above all else, and in that moment Finn really hoped that whatever bond they shared prevented her from feeling the sensations of the other- because, _fuck_ , this guy did not look well.

Finn could see Ben's muscles tensing through his clothes as he began to twitch and convulse against the stone, breath coming out in guttural groans cut off only by ever quickening breath. His legs kicked out wildly as his back arched against the tremors that wracked his body.

"I think he's having some kind of seizure, l-" 

Rey's face turned to one of pure panic as she gripped the bars closest to the diving wall, eyes wide with worry

Ben was choking now, white foam building at the corners of his mouth along with something red that Finn would rather not think about. He turned to Rey who was fighting the tears in her eyes that threatened to override her fraying composure , "I don't know what to do, he- he's choking.... I- I think it's what they gave him earlier." The abnormality of the situation was really getting to him. Some general he was. He couldn't help but think that if it were Poe here instead of him, this situation would of been handed with much more grace, that if Poe were here right now, he might of had the stomach to deal with- Finn stopped himself. Now was not the time. Right now Rey needed him to be able to string a whole sentence together and Ben needed any help he could get. Which at the minuet, was very limited. He looked directly at Rey.

"Okay, " he took a breath. "I think there's some kind of fluid in his lungs which is why he's can't breath so I need you to try and get him to move onto his side-" Another breath. "Can you do that?" He had know idea if Ben was even responsive in his current sate but it was worth a try. Rey nodded in affirmation before crouching low and giving soft but clearly audible murmurs to the other man. Finn had never seen his friend looking this lost: her now shaking as she griped the bars in front of her and Finn could see her struggling to remain calm against the onslaught of outcomes to this swirled in her head. He glanced once more at the barley conscious man- his eyes had rolled back in his head by now, blood and foam running freely from his mouth, hands grasping at empty air by his sides- before striding to the other side of his cell, Ben out of sight. 

"Hey! Hey, we need some help in here!" He grasped his hands around the bars as he shouted at the door on the other side of the room. 

Rey's soft murmurs were becoming more demanding now, she'd obviously had little luck in getting through to irresponsive man through the wall. "Ben it's me, it's Rey, Ben please, I need you to turn on your side, _please._ "

"Can't speak to him through the bond or something?" Finn was pulling at strings now.

"No, I- I don't know it- you know it hasn't been working properly." 

"Didn't he say it was getting better though?"

Rey shook her head in a quick motion and presses her hands to the wall. "He did but- it's still not..." she trails off before going back to pleading at him. 

Finn strides across to the other side of the cell to chance a look at ben, the sounds of which had lessened but as a result his chest is working faster, desperately trying to take in air that never reaches his lungs. If the blood running from Ben's mouth was worrying before hand, that fact that it began to mix with the foam in a growing pool at his head, made this much more of a an issue. For the first time, Finn is grateful for the wall separating Rey from her lover- the sight being almost too much for him would surely break her.

Wet, wheezing breath is all that passes through Bens lips, which along with the rest of him, have started to loose colour. 

It's at this point that Finn realises what's happening.

Ben solo is dying.

He watches her wipe tears from her face. "Ben," she squeezed her eyes shut, " _don't do this to me again_."

Finn crosses the cell and yells again. Louder. 

The door opens.

 _Thank fuck_. 

A man dressed like the ones from the woods, minus the mask, walks directly to his cell and stops about a foot from the bars, fixing Finn with a glare that doesn't affect him. "You'll shut up if you know what's good for you." His full attention on Finn, the guard barley registers the commotion opposite- that, or he simply doesn't care- before starting back towards the door.

"No, no, no! Wait, wait, wait!" Finn tried. 

The man stops in his tracks and in one fluid movement he turns, pulling his blaster from his belt and aiming it at Finn, who immediately backs up, hands raised. He can see Rey in his peripheral- sees her fighting the urge to go aid her friend but refusing to break whatever contact she had with Ben. 

"What did I just say." He gestures to the blaster in his grip, his voice unchanging.

He has no time to breath before answering, "Sorry, but I'm pretty sure Kylo Ren is dying!" He gestures wildly with his head to cell diagonal to his own. 

That got the mans attention. He lowers the blaster slightly, his grip never slacking, before angling his head in the direction of finns gesture, finally registering the noise. He gives him one last glare before striding to the other cell. He barley gets a glimpse of Ben, who had gotten frighteningly quiet these last minutes, when he gives an agitated exhale, turning on his heel as he marches past Finn and Rey towards the exit.

"Oh, for fucks- which one of you idiots was in charge of Ren's dosage!" 

................

Rey isn't coping and she knows she looks it. The bond is buzzing with something she knows she should be able to feel more clearly. She would take time to be annoyed at it, to be angry at the damage done to the thing that connects her to him, but she can't see anything past the overwhelming panic and worry that's overriding her mind. Can't see past the idea that she might loose him again. Ben was fading, she knew it- and the prospect frightened her to her very core. She'd been shaking this whole time, pleading him to turn on his side, to respond, to do anything that would give her any sign that he might pull through. 

He'd given her none. 

Nothing passed his lips other than low laboured groans and harsh wet breaths, each one sounding forced and laced with pain. Its in that moment that Rey wishes with every part of her being that roles be reversed, that it could be her on the floor in place of him. That she would feel the pain and he would not. She would do anything to free him of this. 

The guard's footsteps fade as he leaves before approaching again with another pair of footsteps tailing him. Rey can hear their raised voices in the other room from where she had reluctantly risen to her feet. She's looking to Finn when the footsteps stop just outside the door she can't see. She hears one pair pass the threshold before stumbling with a yelp.

"Wait." Says a stern voice that she recognises as the guard who'd shot at her.

Ben is still choking and Rey has to fight the urge to go back the wall.

The other guard whines. "But I wanna see."

"Just fucking wait," the other's voice is controlled. " he's almost here."

Another set of footsteps is drawing near and the two guards go silent. His footfall sounds heavy, the kind of stomp that can only be drawn military-grade boots, and yet his pacing is slow- lazy, almost- in a way that says he doesn't care for urgency even in dire situations such as this. She doesn't hear him slow as he passes through the door and the others two join him for the last stretch until all three stop just within the boundaries of Rey's sight. 

She isn't in control of the scowl she now wears- nor does she want to be.

It's the main asshole from the woods that now stands in front of her and Rey is about to start throwing some impressive language at him but instead she catches sight of his left hand- and the syringe that he holds in it, with a needle not unlike the one that started all this. 

"Quite the party in here." The words don't affect her and she can feel Finn's gaze stick to the guys hand just as she does.

It's at this point that Ben lets out a particularly agonised noise that could of been classed as a groan if not for the fluid blocking his airways causing him to choke. Rey hears liquid hit the ground and she flinches. He sounds like he's drowning. The unclear sensation in the bond picks up again.

The impatient guard- the one that had been in Ben's cell- strides past, completely ignoring her and Finn, a smile that makes Rey feel uneasy splits his face. 

"Woah," he turns to his comrades, grin intact. "He's _really_ not doing well. I know I gave him more than enough but I didn't think I'd get this kind of reaction from him." He flashes another smirk as he fumbles with the keys.

The remaining guard, the one who'd shot at her, walks ahead of the asshole she now assumes is their leader, leaving about a two second window between them. The second he passes and the leader is within arm's reach, Rey springs to action, lashing out through the bars and latching onto his collar- he drops the syringe, it lands a little way off. She brings his face within inches of hers as she hisses through gritted teeth, "What are you giving him."

The leader merely scoffs at her as the second guard reaches through the bars and strikes Rey across the face, sending her falling backwards. 

"Real feisty one she is." He shakes the lingering pain from his knuckles. "No wonder Kylo here likes to keep her around."

The hit got her right on her left side, directly on the burn from the blaster- the scorching sensation that had settled in these last few hours is immediately unearthed.

In her daze she registers Finn calling her name before directing curses in the general direction of what she assumes is the guy who hit her. The first guard simply raises his blaster to Finn.

"You wanna go through this again kid?"

Finn glares but holds his tongue.

She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, it comes back bloody, before using it to inform Finn that she's fine, all the while her murderous gaze never leaves the leader. Once freed of her grip, the man in question steps back and straightens his collar before leaning to retrieve the syringe. He casts her an unimpressed look.

"Two things you should take into account while under my command-"

"I am not under your command." She spits. 

He ignores her, holding the syringe up to the light, checking for any damage as he continues. "Good behaviour can get you a reward, and bad," he lowers the syringe, apparently satisfied with its condition, and looks to where Rey still sits. "Can get you quite the opposite." He turns his head to the cell next to hers as he's says this, to where Rey can still hear the desperate, pained groans of Ben. In the midst of it all, Rey thinks that he's lost some of his snark since their last interaction and wonders if it has anything to do with the fact that he's now favouring his left side- maybe Ben did get a strike in before things went to shit. "This is a one off for you as you were unaware of how all," he gestures to the air around him." _this_ , works. But next time you step out of line," he smiles and shrugs. "you'll probably end up like him." 

As if on cue, Ben makes a sound like a dying animal and Rey can't help but flinch. 

The leader scoffs again at her reaction before turning to Finn, "The same applies to you." Finn doesn't get a word in before he's turning back to address her, finding that she's still glaring at him from the floor. He looks at her for a moment before his shoulders drop and he exhales. "Okay, look-" 

Rey doesn't like his tone. 

"Just pulling ideas out the air here but I'm guessing you don't like me very much-"

At all.

"So I'll make you a deal. Give you a chance to see how it works round here."

Rey is sceptical but her face remains that same. 

"You keep your mouth shut while we do what we need to do, and I might consider letting you see Ren when we're done with him. Fair right?" Rey is reminded then of how much she longs to be near Ben now, to soothe him through the pain that she knows must be too much by now. She wants it so much it hurts- and she knows that this guy knows it. Knows that she'd probably do anything to be at his side through this.

His expression becomes harder. " But know that if you so much as utter a word during our work-" he steps to the side and gestures to Finn. "I will break half of the bones in your friend's body- bearing in mind I'll let him choose which ones because, you know, we're not animals-" The second guard snorts as he pushes the door to Ben's cell open. Rey doesn't think the other one is capable of laughter. "And I will make certain that your beloved, _Ben Solo_ -" he spits the words like they're poison. "Will revisit his current state every day for the duration of his stay here." There's a pause in which Rey just stares at him, hating herself for feeling intimidated by this asshole. She believes every word he says, so does Finn by the looks of it- she can see him trying to stay calm but he swallows as the threats leave the leader's mouth. She knows her answer already but then, she doesn't know what's going to happen next- what if they do something that she can't help but object to? But if he stayed true to his word... "On a timely schedule here if you hadn't noticed." He shakes the syringe in his hand and the clear liquid inside it swirls against the glass. "I need an answer."

He stares expectantly at her and she nods- because how could she not. 

He nods in return. "And in answer to your original question," he looks to the object in his hand, "Something that will save your lover, if he's lucky." He motions to the first guard, who still has his blaster trained on Finn to follow before joining the second outside Ben's cell. "That is, " he grimaces at something Rey can't see. "If it doesn't kill him first." Rey opens her mouth to protest before recalling the threats that came with their deal.

She watches as the three men enter the cell and leave her sight. She then looks to Finn, relying on him to be her eyes, but at the leader's next words, she is almost grateful for her lack of sight.

"Hold him down."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben's bad time gets worse. 
> 
> Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some slight alterations have been made to the previous chapter so it might be worth going back and taking a look if you're following the story :)

He hates how familiar this is. 

He hates that he knows what causes this kind of pain. Hates that, only when they feel like it will, unfamiliar, unwelcome hands move to hold him down. He knows what hands like these have done: all the lives they've taken, all the blood they've seen, all the pain they've caused. He also knows these hands are similar to his own- and he loathes himself for it. He hates that the smell of his own blood mixed in with too much suppressant brings back memories that he'd much rather forget- memories from a different time in another life. Though he struggles to relate any of his time as Kylo Ren with the term 'living'.

He's awake the whole time. He doesn't have to be, but they make sure that he is. They always do.

He feels every second of it as his body reacts to the unwanted substance that shouldn't be in his blood in the first place. He knows there's too much of it and assumes the miscalculation was deliberate. It often was.

Back at home, he'd recognised the voice that he'd become very accustomed to during his time on Snoke's _Supremacy_ , immediately. Had known the face he was going to see before he turned. Ben had never known his name and believed he there were very few that did, most just referred to him as The Head, but his face was a hard one to forget, as was his occupation: as head of 'Reconditioning', this man was hated by the majority of the Order's troops, and those who didn't have that mutual feeling were obviously yet to experience his teachings. Despite the effects that's his methods had on them, it was always a rare occasion when The Head would make an exception and actually get his hands dirty, carrying out these 'lessons' himself. Unfortunately, Ben was the one that fit that exception.

He can feel it everywhere by now and yet it manages to spread further until his body cant help but react. That's when the seizing usually starts- and as always, its right on time. He looses grip on his mind, becomes unaware of his surrounding as all of his senses are forced together and all he can do is _feel_ and all he can feel is _pain_.

Of course this isn't new to him, this used to happen often. Most regularly back in the early days of his conversion to the dark side, when Snoke grew tired of his weakness or incompetence, deeming his actions punishable but thought him unworthy to receive it from his own hand. 

So he was sent to Reconditioning instead, under the explicit instruction that whatever happens there hurt him until he said otherwise.

So, naturally, the division's head had jumped at the chance.

Ben had thought him dead- he'd disappeared without a trace when Ben had taken up his new role as Supreme Leader, his lackeys too, obviously not wanting to face Kylo Ren and his new authority after they'd spent years torturing the man- But he'd been wrong and The Head was very much alive, his most recent interactions with him proved that. 

Originally the suppressants were used for their fundamental purpose: to cut off his connection to the force. Something to make him docile, easier to deal with. At first it was a minor hinderance at most: it made him nauseous, made him shake, made him hurt- just general inconveniences only noticeable to those who sought out the signs.

That was, until The Head got creative.

Until he realised too much of the stuff could hurt.

To this day, Ben still doesn't know if the first time was an accident or not- he supposes it doesn't really matter- but it sure made The Head happy. Snoke too, to an extent. He remembers thinking that it was the worst pain imaginable and despite how long ago it was, he still stands by that fact.

That is, until this instance.

The hands on his shoulders catch him off guard and he jerks into something that could maybe be called consciousness.

He can't _breathe_. 

He coughs and splutters in an attempt to clear his lungs of fluid, chest heaving, but to little avail. He hears a chuckle that's too loud in his head. "Holy shit, is he awake?" The hands push him onto his side and his lungs finally empty of blood and suppressant, momentary relief washing over him as he breathes almost clearly for the first time in what feels like forever. He's then vaguely aware of voices continuing when he realises that he is actually capable of listening. That he can can actually hear- and that's _not_ good. "Yeah I know that, but I think he's like _awake_ awake." The hands turn him onto his back again and he's suddenly aware that he can taste blood in his mouth. How can he taste?

Okay this is new. _Why is this happening?_ This wasn't supposed to happen until much later so why was he regaining his senses now? The prospect of using the force again gives him hope, but when he reaches for it he finds nothing- _wait_. 

There's something there. 

He reaches for it again, sensing something he thinks he knows, whatever it is draws him deeper- like he's tied to whatever's at the other end. He finds himself tugging at the connection... and finds he's not the only one- there's a voice, _he knows that voice_ , and associated with that voice... a name?

He feels his captors addressing him, trying to get his attention, he thinks he feels a fist connect with his cheek at one point, skin splitting on the bone there, but his mind is elsewhere, with...her. He's being drawn closer- _he knows this feeling_.

He remembers then.

The bond. A dyad in the force, connecting two beings, _two people_ , physically and mentally through time and space- or in this instance, _a wall._

Rey.

Ben's eyes fly open and if not for the weight restraining him him would of sat bolt up right. It's hard to hear over his own drastic breaths but he makes out both voices.

"What the fuck!"

"I fucking told you!"

Through his adjusting eyes, he doesn't recognise the two unmasked faces of those still loyal to The Head that hover above him. They look happy to see him- be that in a unnerving, almost masochistic way. They're leaning over his still twitching body, eyes fixed on his. The one on the right grins and it makes him sick. He wishes then that he'd done more damage to him when he'd had him in his grip during their last interaction. "Well this is a first isn't it. You're never wake for this next part." Glee is intertwined in his words. "Should be fun, right?"

Despite his weakened state and his inability to coordinate his trembling limbs, Ben still pushes against the hands holding him to the floor. "Always was a fighter, " the one on the left readjusts his grip on the man beneath him before leaning close to Ben's ear. "Isn't that right, _Solo_?" the name from his lips triggers something in Ben and he lashes out, using what little strength that he has to bring his forehead to the other mans nose. It breaks with a satisfying crunch followed by a colourful array of curses that match the blood now gushing down his chin, the force of the blow pushed the man back and he collided with the bars behind him. 

Bens head drops back to the floor, he no longer has the strength to hold it up, the newfound freedom of his right shoulder and arm does nothing for him other than allow the involuntary shaking more space. 

He's really feeling the toll now and a groan slips past his gritted teeth: the fluid in his lungs is starting back up again and he really hopes the sudden stabbing sensation at his midriff isn't his liver giving up- his stomach would probably follow suit then his kidneys. If he was lucky, his heart would give before that process started, though he had never seen himself as a very lucky person. His mind is becoming hazy again.

"Oh for- just shoot him up now doc, so what if he can feel it," the remaining loyalist restraining him diverts his gaze back to Ben. "It'll make for a good show."

He had forgotten about the fourth person in the cell and when he rolls his head to look at him, Ben freezes, wishing immediately for a time just seconds ago when he was unaware of his presence:

Because it's The Head stood at his feet. Because in his hands he holds a syringe.

Ben stops breathing all together as he looks from the needle to its bearer, to the grin he's seen too much of, then back to the needle before continuing his loosing battle at breathing again. 

He knew this was coming, it had been at the back of his mind since he awoke. Ben knew he would need it then and knows he needs it now. It's been building up to this. The worst bit, it's always been the worst bit. When the real pain starts. The results of an overdose on suppressant needs to be levelled out or else his body begins to shut down, just as it's beginning to now. And to do that, he needs what's in that needle- though he really, _really_ , doesn't want it. He's usually unconscious at this point, often the only warning he gets that that second drug is coming comes from the needle piercing his skin. He'd feel the pain that disregards consciousness and is silently thankful that his lack of functioning sensory receptors numbs the pain that would otherwise be to much- it's a small mercy.

He doesn't have that mercy now.

The Head nods to the loyalist whose nose had just about stopped bleeding- it was definitely broken- who lowers his hands from his face and reassumes his previous position in securing Ben's side, but not before striking him across the face. Ben's head reels left from the force of the blow, sending a spray of blood and foamy suppressant from his mouth in that direction. His ears are still ringing when his eyes come slowly into focus and settle on something he didn't expect:

Finn.

Ben's eyes widen ever so slightly in surprise before softening at how Finn's expression changes to something that Ben registers as reassurance.

FN-2187, the ex storm trooper, Co-General of the Resistance and Rey's best friend is in the cell diagonally to his. He would never say it aloud but Ben had come to respect Finn, he and his fiancé made good leaders. To Ben's knowledge, that whole thing was still a secret, it just so happens that Ben had been lurking around and happened upon the two exchanging rings, tears on their cheeks. 

Ben's thoughts then go to Rey, to how her cheeks had shone with similar joyous tears back in the low lights of Exegol. He thinks back to that day, to the way she had looked at him in the short moments just after her death and just before his. He remembers her smile and his name on her lips. He remembers the kiss they shared, how her lips felt against his own before his vision tunnelled and the sensation of falling backwards took over, only to come to moments later to her forehead pressed against his, her breath coming out in shudders, tears that held a different meaning falling on his face before he links their fingers together and she raises her head.

He feels a trembling arm being wrenched from his side and secured way from his body, feels the sleeve of his shirt being pushed back to his elbow.

They had walked out of Exegol hand in hand and Ben can't help but feel that this won't be the case here, and for the first time since that day- when he had cradled Rey's cold unmoving body- Ben solo is scared, scared of never seeing her again and of the pain that's yet to come.

He shuts his eyes against the onslaught of emotions and he reaches for the bond again. If not for Palpatine, Ben would be able to feel Rey's presence, may even be able to see her, but something they were only just figuring out was keeping them from doing so. 

Ben thinks he feels dampness run from his eyes but blames the blood from the reopened cut at his cheekbone.

He hears boots against stone The Head crouches above his exposed arm. 

He try's and fails to think of anything else other than what's to come and debates attempting to wrench his arm free of the second loyalist's grip when Finn speaks softly- for Ben's ears only.

"Hey Solo,"

Ben opens his eyes at his name he still feels it doesn't belong to him- it would forever be his father's so the word are foreign on Finn's lips. He's crouched low, more at Ben's level. "We're here." he looks across the from his cell at something Ben can't see, smiling fondly. "Rey's here," He thinks he feels his cheek bleeding again as his thoughts go back to her, as he reaches out through the bond for what could be the last time and tries once more for any sign of her.

It's so small he almost misses it, but it's there.

Light...her light. 

_Rey_. He says in an exhale down the bond.

 _Ben_! Her reply is said through teary relief and Ben angles his head ever so slightly to look to the wall dividing them. To where he knows she is.

The needle breaks through his skin.

"You are not alone." He barely hears Finn but Ben believes him.

Because he isn't.

Then like wildfire in his veins, his blood burns.

And Ben screams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben's really not doing to well at the minute, but hey, this nasty chapter provided a little insight as to who has them so I hope it's getting less confusing. Why he's taken them is yet to be revealed but we'll get there.
> 
> We're gonna hear from Poe in the next one!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe is a mess :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's chapter six! It's from Poe's POV so we see how he's fairing with this whole thing. I'm really enjoying writing this story, it's a really fun pass time so I wouldn't mind some feedback if any of you are willing :)
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Poe was not panicking.

In fact he was perfectly calm. He may even have gone to say that he'd never been this chill is his whole life.

He was sat at the game table on the main deck of the Melinium Falcon and he couldn't sit still. Not because he was panicking though, he wasn't panicking, he just... couldn't see to get comfortable- yeah, that was why, he'd go with that. Beneath his feet the ships gentle vibrations signified that they were still traveling at light speed, they had been for a while now, he's guessing about four or so hours but he has no real way of knowing and he couldn't exactly ask chewie as the Wookiee had banished Poe from the cockpit, claiming that the incessant bouncing of his leg was putting him off whatever it was he was doing. Poe liked to think that he left voluntarily then because he could of stopped his leg bouncing at any point- it was completely in his control, he just felt that a change of scenery was in order. 

So here he was, the most tranquil guy in the galaxy, just him and his own very uneventful thoughts, in which nothing at all worrying or remotely unnerving happened.

He's living his best life.

A group of porgs had gathered at his feet and were staring curiously up at him, unsure of what to think of him and his perpetually bouncing leg, but Poe had been to busy thinking of all the really non-worrying scenarios that could play out in the next few hours to notice the small congregation.

He was so fucking calm right now, he couldn't put it into words if he tried. He was too busy trying to figure out how he could possibly begin to explain this, that he failed to notice someone calling his name and continued to be oblivious until there was a hand waving in his face. 

He nearly jumped out his skin at the motion, jumping to his feet in an explosion obscenities and porgs- the creatures scattering then, fleeing the wall of tranquility that rolled off the man. He tried to level his breathing.

"Shit, sorry Rose." He ran a hand through his oddly unkempt hair, giving an unconvincing chuckle. "You startled me."

Rose's eyes were trained in him and he could see that his chuckle clearly hadn't been convincing enough. 

"Sorry about that," she attempts to return his pitiful attempt at laughter, it has the same effect as his. "I shouldn't been more considerate, I just came to check on you- see how you're holding up." She smiles at him sheepishly. "Which you are, right? Holding up?" 

"I'm fine." His words are rehearsed and they come out too quick, she sees right through him.

"You sure?"

He takes in a deep breath and holds it in his lungs as he nods eagerly, eyes looking at anything but her. He waits for her to say something else but instead she just looks at him, as if she's urging him to continue. He looks at her then. 

_Fuck it_.

Poe exhales as he slumps back down in his seat, his body suddenly feeling like lead. His head falls on the table in front of him and his hands make fists in his hair.

Poe was _definitely_ panicking.

In fact he was the furthest away from calm possible without having a minor heart attack. He might even go to say that this is the least calm he's ever been.

Rose sighed and sunk into the seat next to him, tentatively placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Yeah, I thought as much."

.................

He'd known something was wrong pretty early on in this whole ordeal. 

They were late.

Of course they were late. In fact he would of counted on them being late. None of them were ever on time for anything, himself often included- to be fair, Ben was the best of them when it came to time keeping, it was Rey that held him back. She rivalled Poe when it came to turning up late. It just so happens that Ben has the patience of a saint when it comes to her so if she's behind, he follows suit. Poe assumes that it's something left over from his time as Supreme Leader- busy schedules and all. Maybe when this is all over he'll ask him for some pointers. 

Back when Ben had first arrived, after Exegol, things had been tense to say the least- you'd be lucky if you found one in a hundred people that hadn't been affected in some way by the actions of Kylo Ren, his sins where common knowledge, and it just so happened that the two opinions that mattered the most when it came to his acceptance were the two people that had the right to hate him above all others, on a personal level. It had taken the better part of a year for Poe to start trusting him: he and Ben had decided to have a race to determine who the better pilot was after a heated argument that Poe can't remember the origin of. Looking back on it now he sees the stupidity in the event right from the get go, it was a childish idea fuelled by way too much testosterone. Mid way through the race a small fleet of TIE fighters appeared out of nowhere, their only intention being to shoot the two out of the sky. The had fought side by side then, each pilot protecting the others weak spots and warning the other of approaching fire. Both men came out of it unscathed and with a new sense of camaraderie- it had been smooth sailing between the two after that.

And now he was another thing to worry about.

They were ten minutes late for this shitty meeting already- something about getting supplies out to settlements in the outer rim- and, unfortunately, all four of them were required for it to officially start. He knew he should of just gone on without them - he was a General now, he could bend some rules of requirement, they could of caught up later, but it was an odd sense of dread that made him put the meeting on hold and go seek the three of them himself. 

The short walk there was quiet, save for BB-8 who whirred at his heels. that was another thing to add to the list of things that had been making him uneasy- it was too quiet. He should of been able to hear the hum and wane of sabres by now or at least see the flicker of them through the trees but instead there was only silence and shadows cast by the canopy overhead. When he reached the clearing the scene in front of him told all.

A tree had fallen across the centre of the space, just missing the house, most of its base had been cut through in a clean slice that had singed the wood, the other part of it had splintered and snapped- no longer able to hold its self before giving way. Ash from the fire pit had been scattered across the grass as if someone had kicked it in that direction, clouding the green in grey and black. The table of junk that was not to be touched by anyone other than Ben- through fear of dismemberment should you move something out of place- was on its side, any semblance of organisation lost to the grass along with the parts. But felled trees and upturned tables could of been seen as a training accident if not for the one thing that told him that there was something really wrong was this picture- and that was the body.

That really set of alarm bells in his mind.

Poe drew his blaster as he neared the corpse and after deeming him dead- which he definitely was, the guys torso had fallen a short way off from his legs. He commits the strange black mask covering his face to memory before abandoning his brief examination. He had called their names, shouting for them as he jumped the fallen tree and ran inside the house, checking every room and finding no trace of them, BB-8 following him at every turn.

They weren't here.

_What was he supposed to do now?_

Every bit of training he'd ever been given about what to do in a situation like this fizzed from his mind and all he could do was stand there, eyes squeezed shut. His heavy breathing was all he could hear as his fingers scratched against his scalp as he ran shaky hands through his hair, unsure what else to do with them. 

_They're not dead. They're not dead. They're not dead._

_He's not dead._

Tears were in his eyes as he bit his lip. His thoughts couldn't help but go straight to his fiancé- straight to Finn, because he simply could not be dead. He was beginning to completely loose himself when something nudged at that back if his legs. He opened his eyes and looked down over his shoulder.

BB-8 looked up at him, nudging his legs again before beeping softly.

Poe released a shaky breath. "Sorry, you're right buddy." 

He worked hard to blink the moisture from his eyes and sniffed before putting on his General face- composure was essential in these scenarios. He nodded to his friend.

"All right, lets go." 

Poe called off the meeting upon their return back to base but told them nothing of what he'd seen, he instead called for only a select few people who could help him figure out the plan of action.

It took two hours before the new meeting started- maz had been off planet but returned as quick as she could when he had called for her, asking that she return with haste due to recent events. When she arrived, he took no time to brief her about everything that happened. 

Poe himself couldn't sit down, he paced the small area in the back of the cave, a space far from prying eyes. Maz, who sat at a crate that could maybe be classed as a table, frowned at him. "Sit down boy, you'll tire yourself out if you keep that up and you'll need you're strength if you're thinking of doing something stupid." Chewie, who stood off to the side, BB-8 situated at his feet, made a noise of agreement and gestured to the vacant seat to Maz's left- it couldn't really be classed as a chair, just another unused crate. Rose had originally put it there for her own use but, like Poe, she found that she was unable to relax fully so instead she had perched on the edge of the table- _crate_. The mask Poe had taken from the body back at the house sits behind her. No one wanted to look at it, so it had been placed strategically out of sight but somehow, the presence of the inanimate object was the strongest in the room.

Poe ignored both his comrades and continued his march.

"I can't just sit down Maz, we can't do anything and yet we need to do something!" He'd gotten to the stage of frustration when he starts applying hand gestures to everything he said. "They're out there somewhere! Probably taken by the First Order, because lets be honest, what's left of them has been more hostile towards us now then they had been when there'd been an actual fucking war going on!" He stopped his pacing at different points to face his comrades before advancing again. "We don't know what they want or why they came or what the deal with those freaky masks is, but in one fell, fucking, swoop," he moves his arm in a downward motion. "They managed to take the most hated person in their side of the galaxy, the one who made him hated and a General of the fucking Resistance!" He takes a breath now, his eyes wide. "Do you know what they could do to them, what they could be _doing_ to them! Together, Rey and Ben killed Palpatine, _Palpatine_ for fucks sake! He was like a fucking God to them or something." His hands were in his hair again. "Ben betrayed the First Order and everything they stood for when he chose the light. He was their Supreme _fucking_ Leader and he turned against them. In their eyes, he's the biggest traitor alive. And Rey," he huffs and looks to the ceiling. "To them, almost every flaw that Kylo Ren had boiled down to the fact that she came into his life and brought out that light in him." He spread his arms and faces his comrades. "In case you hadn't noticed, when in the Order, that's not a good thing to have in your job description! And Finn-" 

His mouth had gone dry and there was suddenly a lump in his throat. "And Finn..." he'd stopped his pacing by now and had to squeeze his eyes shut against the tears forming there. 

There was a hand on his shoulder now, he hadn't noticed Chewie come up behind him and place it there. The Wookiee spoke warmly- he'd always had a way with words and since Han and Leia... he'd only gotten wiser. 

Poe sighed, realising then that his desperate ramblings really did nothing towards contributing to getting his friends back and instead just pointed out everything that no one wanted to hear. He looked up at the Wookiee, "Yeah, I know." He looked to those around him, his face apoplectic. "Sorry."

Maz shook her head and rose, crossing the short distance between them before taking his hands in hers, her voice is endearing when she speaks. "I know how hard this is for you Poe, I've been in similar situations myself," Poe sees a flicker of something more than sadness in her eyes then but recognises that this isn't the time for battle stories. "But with no idea where they are or where they might be headed,there really isn't much we can do except wait for news and pray no harm comes to them." 

Poe closes his eyes then, he knows she's right. They could be halfway across the galaxy by now and with no means of tracking the-

He opens his eyes.

Tracking.

_Holy shit._

They all protest, calling his name and shouting when Poe bolts from the cave. He can hear BB-8 struggling to keep up behind him, beeping like crazy as he tries to get his masters attention. The base is still busy with workers despite the approaching night when he makes it out the cave mouth, his speed never slowing as he vaults a workbench to his right in an attempt to shorten his route. Unlike Ben's place, Finn and Poe's shared quarters are near the heart of the base as they felt that it would be easier to keep an eye on the comings and goings of everyday work, so Poe was almost there when he'd started running. 

He should of had the device on him, he usually did but he hadn't planned on going anywhere so he hadn't seen an issue with leaving it at home- how ironic. The door ricocheted against the wall with the force he put into opening it and he was already looking through several boxes by the time the rest of them, caught up. 

"Really Poe?" Rose's hands were on her knees as she panted the words. "What are you doing?"

"I'm looking," Poe continued to rifle through his belongings and was about to look elsewhere when he heard the sound of something small and solid hitting the ground. He froze, looking towards the sound.

There it was. 

The device was no bigger than his thumbnail and a light on the side flashed red every second or so.

"What is it?" He didn't know who said it as all his attention was focused on the tiny life line. He picked up the small device- cradling it like it might break any second and turned to face his comrades, hope was all that shone in his eyes.

"I know how to find them."

..............

He groaned against the table and it made the surface vibrate. 

"I'm sure they're all fine." Rose said, trying desperately to keep things positive.

Poe bit his tongue to keep the sarcastic _yeah, sure they are_ from escaping his lips. No one deserved his blatant bitterness right now, least of all Rose- Poe couldn't think of one occasion in which she had ever done anything that even remotely pissed him off. Not one. So he wasn't going to grace her with being an ass.

He breaths in deeply, lifting his head and rubbing a hand over his tired face before bracing his forearms on the table. "I know." He looks to her and tries a smile- he feels how pitiful his attempt is. "I'm sorry, I'm just-" the words won't form properly in his head so he just abandons his sentence. He sighs again.

"Don't worry," Her eyes are on him though his are not on her "The feelings mutual."

Poe was on the verge on leaping into a rant about how _he can't not worry_ when he feels something roll into his shin. He adjusts his position so he can lean to look under the table. He isn't surprised when he finds BB-8 at his feet and he smiles his first genuine smile since this mess started when the droid beeps at him. He reaches under the table and places a hand to his friends head. "I know, buddy." 

The droid hums at him before rolling back in the direction of the cockpit, dodging several porgs as he goes. 

Poe's eyes follows him until he's out of sight and his stare lingers in the doorway for a while after. He imagines Finn walking through it, still laughing at something Rey had said or done, the girl herself following him, shoving his shoulder and trying to convince him that whatever it was wasn't actually that funny, but the tears in her eyes give her away. He imagines them approaching the table as he demands to know what happened and asking Finn to be heavy on the details. He imagines Ben entering when they're all on the verge of collapse, sides splitting with laughter and Poe has no problem envisioning the confused but curious look on his face as he takes a weary step further into the room, fighting a smile as he's given context.

Poe blinks and he's back in reality- he hates that he preferred it when he wasn't. He reaches deep into his pocket and retrieves the small, blinking device that held the exact coordinates to his friends. It didn't look like they weren't on any planet so he can only assume that they're on some kind of ship, and the coordinates had stopped changing about an hour in so it looks like they're stationary- Poe thinks that's a good thing. At least they're not chasing them.

He rolls the device between his thumb and forefinger before placing it on the surface in front of him. He turns to the mechanic on his right. "Thank you Rose, Im aware that I'm hard to put up with sometimes," he smiles, and it's real. "But thank you anyway. I know I'm not the only one that's having a hard time."

She smiles sadly at that and tries to avoid his eyes before her lips shut into a thin line.

Poe just waits, mirroring her earlier behaviour- leaving her room to talk if she wants to. She doesn't speak for a little while and for a minute, Poe thinks she might not at all, but then her lips part.

"When Paige died, " her eyes are glued to the surface in front of them. "I was lost. She was the only person I had and suddenly she was gone and I didn't know what to do." Poe can't help the pang of guilt that courses through him. It was his recklessness that caused the losses that day and it's one of the piling things that he will carry with him for a very long time. He's about to open his mouth to apologise when Rose continues. "That was, " Poe doesn't know if she's aware of the smile that now graces her features. "Until I met Finn." It's his turn to smile. "I didn't think things could get much crazier than they already were but then he showed up and dragged me into something much bigger." She chuckles lightly, then looks to him. "Through him I then met you guys. You, Chewie, Rey, Ben. Though I gotta say," she glances at him and the positivity is still there. "I was pretty sceptical about him at first, I mean, the guy was Kylo Ren so who wasn't." She thinks for a moment before her smile grows bigger. "Though I really can't see it in him anymore. He's just a big softie who melts whenever Rey's around."

Poe laughs at that and despite the situation, it feels good. "Yeah, he is isn't he. You should've seen him this morning," he realises it's more like yesterday now. "They were sparing and he had her on the ropes, like he's definitely gonna win," he's grinning now. "Then Rey starts batting her eyelashes at him, getting all touchy feely, and he turns to putty in her hands. He hit the floor before he knew he was falling." They're both laughing now, slumped slightly over the table, shoulders jostling. 

Of course that was before all this. Before Poe had to leave and everything went to shit when he was gone.

They're regaining in their composure and Poe straightens, hands running through his hair, trying to at least make it look like he'd slept . He looks to Rose and presses a kiss to her cheek in thanks. "Thank you, I think we both needed this." 

She nods in agreement, still wiping away tears of laughter.

Poe rises then and he feels a bit more like a General than he did ten minutes ago. "Okay," he starts towards the cockpit, finally prepared to face the Wookiee. "lets see where we are."


	7. Chapter 7

Finn almost can't watch. 

If it was too much of an ordeal before, he had know idea what it was now, and quite frankly, Finn was unsure as to how much more Ben could take.

He had been screaming, full-on howling, for almost ten minutes now- that in itself was enough to do damage to anyone, but when piling that on with whatever was going on inside Ben right now- the whole prospect gave Finn the urge to empty his stomach right there and then.

If Poe didn't get here soon... Finn shook the thought from his mind.

The guy was in _so_ much pain.

He writhes and bucks against the two men struggling to keep him flat against the floor, his legs thrashing wildly and his back arching as the pain courses through him again and again. Finn can see the straining veins in Ben's neck from across the room as his heart beats impossibly fast to get blood around his body- tainted blood. Blood that feels like corrosion as it spreads, searching for any trace of remaining suppressant- most of which is latched onto nerves. When the new substance finds what it searches for, drug attacks drug in a twisted burning conflict which leaves the host unable feel anything other than unnatural, all encompassing, blinding pain. If Ben was capable of thought at the moment, he'd like to think that he's entitled to scream. So he does.

The sounds come from so deep in Ben's chest that Finn wouldn't be surprised if every one of his vocal cords ripped as the sounds tear from his throat.

Finn tries not to think about which will finish first- whatever drug is in his system or Ben himself.

He thinks back to a quieter time just minutes ago when he had spoken soft words to Ben and he knows for a fact that he was the only one in the room who saw what unfolded between the two force users. 

Rey hadn't been responsive since the three entered the cell, the minuet she was out of their sight she moved as close to Ben's wall as she could before sitting cross legged on the floor. Finn turned to her just as Ben landed a perfect head butt to guard who'd held the blaster to his face. He looked down at her tear stained face and she looked to him. Finn understood what she meant to do and nodded to her in confirmation before she closed her eyes. Finn hadn't seen what happened but Ben looks like he's down for the count, his glazed over eyes blink wearily in Finn's direction and it looks like it takes him a minuet to regester who he's seeing. When he does though, Finn sends him what he hopes is a reassuring smile but all Finn can think of is how sorry he is that he can't do anything to help. It looks like Ben sees right through him though and he closes his eyes as the leader approaches with the needle. 

Two things the happen in the space of less then a minute. This first is more surprising than the second because Ben solo is _crying._

His eyes are closed and there are few tears but it's happening and it shocks Finn to his core and in that moment. Defeat is written all over him, and it's now that Finn feels the need to step in. 

"Hey Solo," Finn can't recall ever calling Ben by his last name but he feels like he needs it now and it sure does the job of drawing his attention, if only briefly.

He crouches to Ben's level as his eyes open. Tears and blood fall in tandem down his cheek as Finn tells him, "We're here" he looks to Rey who is quietly crying, her whole body trembling, but what Ben doesn't know can't hurt him so he smiles and turns back to the downed man. "Rey's here."

And that's when the second thing happens. Ben closes his eyes again and Finn begins to loose hope before he mouths something that he can't quite make out, but when Rey suddenly smiles her whole body shaking with happy tears, he gets the gist. There's a smile on Ben's lips that is gone almost as soon as it arrives but Finn will take it- it definitely counts for something.

Then something extraordinary happens. 

Both force users look to the wall separating each other, and Finn lets out a breath and wonders if they know they're starring directly at each other.

Finn thinks he would laugh had the situation been different- _the force_. He'd finally given in to the fact that this is something that he may never understand, and the current interaction that these two force users were displaying was now another instance to note down on his long list of force related things he'd never understand. It was almost like the look they shared slowed time: despite the others in Ben's cell- the ones that came bearing drugs and sickening smiles that promised pain- Finn's attention was only on the unspoken thing between these two. Maybe this is something that surpasses the limited confines of the force. Maybe it's something more. Maybe these two are just weird. 

Finn's mouth ghosts a smile before he looks to Ben again.

"You're not alone" 

Then the drug is in his system and things just get worse.

Rey isn't doing amazing either, whatever she did to contact Ben really took a lot out of her. She reeled backward when their connection was forcefully cut short and she fell to the side, her eyes going right to Finn's in a question that he wasn't capable of answering. When Ben's screams didn't stop, she'd curled in on herself, sobs wracking her shaking form and Finn wants nothing more than to go to her aid, but the bars in front of him prevent him from doing even that.

Finn watches the two guards struggle again. One of them catching one of Ben's elbows in the gut and doubling over, his grip remains strong though. Finn eyes the leader who had been standing vigil at Ben 's feet this whole time, starring at him as he writhes.

And the bastard has the audacity to fucking smile. 

This guy made it to the very top of Finn's 'deserves to die' list in record time.

Ben lets out a particularly anguished howl that makes Rey shrink further in on herself and Finn knows it will stay with him for a while when the sound dies in Ben's throat. The noise of his torso hitting the floor makes Rey rise from her position, eyes snapping to the wall before her desperate gaze fall on Finn. 

And he can't look at her because he doesn't know if- 

Ben is unmoving.

The men restraining him share a look with each other before looking to their leader, who's eyes are only for the man on the ground .

Because he's not breathing. 

_Don't look at Rey. Don't look at Rey._

The leader moves forward as the other two rise, crowding themselves around what Finn really hopes isn't a corpse. This was not what Finn had wanted when he felt that Ben needed a break from the pain- This silence is not welcome.

In the outskirts of his vision, he sees Rey shift on her feet, her shaking hands gripping the bars. _Don't look at her._

The leader takes a minute to chew his lip before nodding to the guard on Ben's right who briefly looks to his partner before shrugging and raising his leg to bring it down hard on Ben's unmoving chest.

Finn thinks he should be able to hear ribs crunch if not for Ben's sudden intake of breath- it's the only sound that reaches his ears.

Ben jolts upright as he inhales sharply, then falls back again, turning his head to the side to vomit what Finn hopes is the last of the drug- there is much less blood this time and for that he is grateful.

Finn finally allows himself to look at Rey and sees the relief on her face, her hands around the bars in front of her the only thing keeping her standing.

The same guard, who had backed away when Ben started retching, approaches again, pulling the collar of Ben's shirt up so their faces are close. "So you've returned to that land of the living!" the still gasping man doesn't seem to be paying much attention to the voice above him: his head lolls back, eyes darting- glazed and unseeing, around the room. The guard continues, "Again, so it seems."

He releases his grip and Finn can't help but wince as Ben's head makes hard contact with the ground and for the first time in a long while, his breathing evens out. He just lies there in the short moment of reprieve, brows furrowed in pain above closed lids, arms now free of tremors move to shield his aching ribs.

The leader steps forward.

"Quite the shock you gave us there Kylo." He takes another step and Ben starts upright, his hands behind him prepare to pull himself, and his not yet responsive legs, backwards and away from the the man who is now crouched at his level. He doesn't get far: his arms give out under him and he grunts through his clenched jaw, the jarring of his ribs becoming too much. The two guards take position at his sides again. "Yeah I wouldn't move too much if I were in your position, " Ben's not wholly focused eyes meet the intense stare of the man in front of him. "I don't know what state your organs are in." he looks Ben up and down, "You move too much and you could do some irreparable damage. Personally-" he leans forward and presses the heel of his palm to Ben's bruising ribs- to his credit, Ben makes no sound, instead he goes to strike out with his left hand. It hardly makes it off the ground before the guard to his left brings a metal tipped boot down on it, probably breaking several fingers in the process, "I wouldn't risk it."

Finn watches the two, each man fixed in the others stare, each daring the other to make the first move- and the interaction looks rehearsed, like they've done this a million times before. Finn recalls being on the receiving end of the look that adorns Ben's face, the memory flashes in his mind and he recalls the feeling of bark at his back, the dampness of snow on his face, the smell of burning flesh accompanied by blinding pain in his shoulder- it should've been the only thing capable of feeling in that moment but Kylo Ren's eyes had bore right through him and Finn could've sworn he had actually felt it. He had been terrified. 

But now that gaze is trained on another, on someone who deserves what follows it. It's in moments like this that Finn is grateful for Kylo Ren's turn to the light, grateful for Ben Solo, grateful that he'll never feel that stare again. 

Ben makes his move.

The strength in his legs returns and the leader feels his teeth clash together before he registers the knee that just struck his jaw. The guards at Ben's sides loose valuable time as they try to take in what just happened- time that Ben utilises. The pressure on his hand has slackened enough for him to pull it loose, skin tearing as he does, and land a hit to the left guard's groin. Finn winces when he doubles over, hands between his legs, but feels no sympathy. The guard to Ben's right isn't as slow to draw his eyes from their leader and reaches for his comrades blaster as he falls. Finn's mouth opens to shout a warning but Ben sees the the threat too, and dodges the shot aimed in his direction before it even leaves the barrel, it hits the floor at his feet instead. Finn has no clue where Ben's new-found adrenaline comes from but he's is on his feet, pain forgotten, as he moves to disarm the guard, grabbing the man's wrist and forearm before twisting. 

Finn's in awe. Even without the force this guys incredible,but there's no way he should be able to do even half of this after everything he's gone through in the last twenty four hours.

The blaster drops from the guard's grip and slides across the room before Ben can grab it- it's too far away now and Finn knows that Ben recognises this, he also knows that he can see the leader coming out of his daze in his peripheral. He shoves the guard in his grip towards the wall and slams his head against the stone- he goes limp before he slides to the floor. Ben takes a half a second to make sure he stays down before turning on his heel to-

He's suddenly very still.

His hands fly to his midriff at the same time as blood appears on his lips. Bens eyes are fixed on the floor, unblinking. 

Finn's mind goes to what the leader said earlier, about not moving too much. He had taken it as an empty threat but...

It's now that Ben looks to Finn, slowly turning his head to face him. It's the first time Ben's acknowledged him since before the second drug and Finn hates that he has exactly that same expression on his face. Ben's about to give up and Finn doesn't know what to do, and he doesn't get time to think either because both the leader and the first guard have risen to their feet and are bearing down on the man with his back to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back. The next chapter is the last of Ben's bad time for a little while. I think he's in need of some chill time. Well... as chill as he can be.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed:)


	8. Chapter 8

Ben barely registers the change in Finn's expression when a blow to the gut forces the blood from his mouth and the air from his lungs. He's already doubling over as his legs are kicked from beneath him and the floor rises up to break his fall. 

He's unsure as to where his sudden burst of energy had come form, but he has a hunch and his mind drifts to thoughts of her as the pulsating stab in his torso reacts to the impact of his chest hitting the floor. The fight had been going well- he'd actually been thinking that he might win. Three men against one greatly impaired Ben, and yet he still managed to gain the upper hand. He knows that he couldn't of done with out Rey and whatever strength she'd miraculously gifted him- he handn't thought long on how the transaction was possible, he'd simply been thankful that he could stand long enough to defend himself. Whether or not he would be able to use the force after this would be told with time but the bond that he and Rey shared was thriving- alive in a way it hadn't been for almost two years. He wanted to send his thanks, hear her voice, but he found that the pain now shrouding his mind didn't allow him to think anything past 'ow'. 

He knew he'd lost the minute he felt that sharp stabbing pain. 

He'd overdone it.

The loyalist with the broken nose immobilises Ben's left arm with a knee and pushes the remainder of his weight on his shoulder. Ben can't move, the stabbing sensation at his side made sure of that, so he waits for the other guard to take his other side. Dread builds in his stomach when he finds that it's The Head approaching instead.

The Head's knee now presses against Ben's back and the increase in pressure hurts: his bruising ribs protest and whichever organ it is thats decided to call it a day throbs incessantly. His breathing is coming quickly now, small and harsh through his gritted teeth.

Ben realises The Head's intentions when his right arm is wrenched behind him and pulled taught. All that crosses his mind in that moment is how much he doesn't want this to happen- exhaustion is weighing heavy on him now and he longs for the relief that unconsciousness holds. He lets out a frustrated grunt, pressing his forehead to the ground and squeezing his eyes shut. 

"Now that was _really_ poor decision making in your part." He feels The Head's gaze on the back of his head. The pressure increases again. Ben groans. "Now, I'm surprised. I really am," The sigh he lets out is wistful. "It seems that in your time away from the First Order, your defiance has returned. But, then again, I guess that's what happens," he leans in close to Ben's ear, sneer audible in his voice. "when you join ranks with rebel _scum._ " 

Ben feels that last part. Remembers how he'd spat the phrase back when he'd been Kylo Ren. Had he known all those years ago that one day those words would be directed at him- he'd probably try to convince himself that his own mind was lying.

"In any case, " the grip on his arm tightens and Ben feels the hands twisting it ever so slowly until they meet resistance, bone and muscle unwilling to go any further. Ben freezes now, breath hitching in his throat. "I believe some form of reeducation is in order." 

Ben pictures The Head smiling when his arm is twisted the rest of the way and his shoulder rolls out of its socket. Ben would gag at the sound it makes if no for the sudden onslaught of pain that assaults the expanse of neck and down his side. His vision flashes pure white.

He doesn't want to give The Head the satisfaction of another scream so it comes out instead as, "Fuck!" Its strained, his voice still hoarse from earlier. 

Both men back away from him, apparently satisfied with their work, and Ben brings his now free left arm level to his head. He clenches his hand into a fist before slamming it to the floor against a wave of what he can only describe as static that spreads through his shoulder. 

"So he speaks."

Ben tries to divert his focus to whatever it is that The Head is saying but he can't think clearly. He doesn't want to breathe, each breath just jars his shoulder which sends another agonising wave of static. It feels so wrong, so unnatural- every muscle in the surrounding area is being pulled in the wrong direction, pulsating at the displacement. He presses his forehead hard against the floor, hoping the coldness of it distracts him- it's a pitiful attempt.

"As much as I enjoy seeing you break, dearest Kylo," 

Ben's fist strikes the floor again.

"I do plan on having a civilised conversation with you in the near future, and I can't do that if you're incapable of stringing a sentence together." Ben doesn't know when he got closer but suddenly theres pressure at his back again. 

The Head's attention moves from Ben. "See to it that that imbecile's wounds are treated before you leave." He's addressing the loyalist by the door, who had moved to retrieve his discarded blaster, but his eyes are on the other man that's still where Ben left him against the wall. The loyalist crosses the cell as another wave hits Ben and The Head feels him tense beneath him, pushing harder as a result.

"He's dead." 

Ben had figured this was the case the second he heard the man's head hit the wall- he hadn't meant to kill him but, then again, he'd tried before so there's no loss there. The Head sighs again.

"It seems so. I thought it was unusually quite." He gestures to the cell door. "Dispose of him. I don't care how, just get rid of him. I want him out my sight by morning."

Ben's vaguely aware of the remaining loyalist tossing the body over a shoulder before he exits the cell, the door left open- and suddenly there's a hand on his shoulder, directly against the indentation where the displaced joint should be. He flinches against his will, holding his breath and biting his tongue. 

"You cost me a good man today." The medics arm wraps around Bens front. "I'm beginning to wonder if you're actually worth the trouble." He's rolled onto his back, and its agony that only increases when hands wrap around his arm again. The medic is making eye contact now and Ben still can't move. "You know the drill by now, Ren." He senses the threat in his voice before the next words land. "However, i think you're at your limit, and I can't afford to let you die just yet, so-" he pauses. "From now, unless I deem it otherwise, any wrongdoing you're even remotely responsible for will be paid for by you _and_ your beloved." Ben swallows and it tastes of blood. "And if I'm feeling generous, " he nods in Finn's direction. "He can join in on the fun too. Am I clear?"

Ben doesn't want that, he really doesn't want that. He knows what this guy does to people and he _really_ doesn't want that.

"I said, am I clear?" 

He promises to himself then that by the time this ordeal is over, The Head will be very, _very_ dead.

It takes a lot out him but Ben gives one single nod.

The Head rolls his eyes and twists the arm in his grip. Ben wills his clenched teeth not to bite off too much of his tongue.

"I need a verbal answer Ren." It's said in a manner not far from one you would use when talking to a child.

Ben clenches his jaw and he thinks his teeth might crack. Breathing deeply through his nose, it takes all of his willpower not to do something stupid right there and then. He swallows again and the sensation burns his throat. His mouth works hard to form the word and when it comes, its shaky and hoarse.

"Yes."

The Head's eyes never leave Ben. He smiles. "Good."

The Head yanks the arm forward before rolling it up and back into its socket where the joint settles with a sickening crunch. 

White flashes in his eyes again and Ben can't help the broken noise that escapes his lips- he hates himself for how weak it makes him sound. 

The Head drops his hold on Ben's arm as he rises and starts towards the door but pauses mid-stride to look back at him. 

"Know your place."

He exits the cell then and Ben's vision begins to tunnel. He thinks he can hear voices from far away followed by approaching footsteps. He's nearing unconsciousness and he yearns for it. He hears the footsteps halt by his head when he looses his grip on his surroundings. 

He tries to say her name when he feels a soft hand at his cheek but it's the last thing he does before it all fades to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now he has a well earned nap.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy chapter nine day! Today you are gifted with chapter nine. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

"He's all yours." 

There were tears running down her face when the leader unlocked her cell door. He'd barely opened it the whole way when she slipped through and ran past him. Despite how much she wanted to use her new found freedom to deck him, to knock his teeth from his disgusting smile, to kill him, all she could do was put one foot in front of the other as she rounded the corner- and froze. 

Her hands rose unwillingly to cover the lower half of her face as she gasped. 

_Oh, Ben_.

She doesn't remember the last few steps into his cell from there but suddenly she's falling to her knees at his head and the door is locking behind her. Her hand goes straight to his bloodied cheek- red from a cut at his right cheekbone had been allowed to to run and had painted a straight, horizontal line towards his nose. He stirs slightly at her touch and she thinks his lips move to say something but it's cut short, he goes lax as consciousness leaves him. Rey lets out a poorly concealed sob and the leader decides now is a good time to speak.

"Now, believe it or not, Ren here has had a pretty busy day-" he has his arms looped through the bars of the door, wrists resting on the locking mechanism there. "so try to be gentle with him in your hysteria." He picks at his cracked nails. "I don't think he's as sturdy as he used to be."

Rey's head snaps to the door. "This is barbaric." She swallows another sob. " _You're_ barbaric." 

"Yep."

She looks away from him as he pulls back from the door and starts down the corridor. 

"You kids sleep tight. I have a fun-filled day planned for tomorrow morning and I'd like for you all to be awake for it." The door slams closed behind him and Rey crumbles.

From across the room she hears Finn let out a shaky breath as he slides down the bars. "Is he alive?"

Rey sniffs and wipes a hand across her cheek. "He passed out."

Finn nods and it takes two tries before he can form words. "That's probably for the best."

Rey leans over and presses her forehead to Ben's, her hands framing his face, thumbs stroking circles in what she hopes is a soothing gesture against the bloodied skin there as she listens to Ben's mercifully even breaths. Neither of them speak- unsure what to say after being witness to what just happened. Rey doesn't actually know how Ben got to his current state: she fainted after giving him what energy she had- when she'd deemed Ben not dead after that second drug, she felt she had to do something. She's still in denial over it, but it had worked- their dyad, their _bond_. They had pushed through the barrier that was the after effects of Palpatine and found each other again. Either the force has really good timing, or they just needed a dire situation to push themselves. Rey realises that it could be both, _it could be neither_ , but she cant bring herself to care. At the minute there's only one thing she can care about and unfortunately, he was unconscious.

She raises her head and looks to the other cell, to Finn, she's just about managed to control her tears. "What happened?" She had only woken when one of the guards passed her cell, his face blank as he carried the other- the impatient one had red covering the back of his head and it dripped from his hair as he was carried past. The indentation of his skull left no implication that he was still alive. 

Finn straightens himself from where he was still slumped against the bars as he tries to find the ability to form words. He manages to give a brief explanation and Rey is suddenly very wary of Ben's right shoulder. "He had them all down, _all of them_ , Rey. He was on his feet- he was actually _fighting_." He runs a hand over his face. "But then he froze and I think- I don't want to make this situation anymore worrying then it already is but-" Finn's words fall short.

"What?" The panic on Rey's face is no secret. "What do you 'think', Finn."

Finn reluctantly raises his hand to motion to the door at the end of the room. "But that asshole said something about irreparable damage to his organs if he moved too much-"

Rey thinks she might cry again.

"And then he went and did all that and then there was blood and..." Finn trails off and there's silence again.

" _Fuck_." Rey says, under her breath. "Fuck!"

There was blood. A lot of it: it covered a section of the floor along with a clear substance that must be a result of the drugs. Clumps of Ben's hair are damp with a mixture of the two and the sweat at his brow makes strands stick to his forehead. The tips of her fingers move to brush them away and the movement calms her. If anything, at least Ben looked peaceful now. Rey hopes wherever he was now was better than here. She bites the inside of her cheek to stifle another sob- she didn't have time for that.

" _Okay_ ," she whispers on an outward, shaky, breath as she straightens and removes a hand from where it was rested at Ben's head. She shifts slightly so she's at Ben's side now and her fingers hover above the bottom of his shirt- the material had hitched up unevenly to show the toned muscle surrounding his hip. The tan that had been beginning to form on his previously pale skin through his time in the sun back home was lost to the sickening parlour that came with blood-loss. Her shakily hands gently drag the material up to his chest and she grimaces through watery eyes at what she finds there. 

Rey is familiar with broken ribs: she remembers cracking several after falling from the nose of a downed x-wing that she'd been trying to pry a sheet of panelling from back on Jakku- the journey back to her AT-AT had been awful but the recovery time was worse. She'd broken those same ribs again last year on a supply run that became messy: the bones had never heralded properly on Jakku and so were susceptible to further damage. But Ben was there for her that second time and he made recovery much more bearable- he didn't leave her side for that month-long rest period. She remembers the terrified look on the face of the medic treating her when they told Ben that her injury was serious enough for them to spare bacta. Ben had complained more than her as he carried her back to the house. 

He had been there for her then, so she would be there for him now- because Ben had broken ribs and by the looks of it, at least three of them. Darkening bruises covered the right side of his chest in a mottled purple and yellow that spread across to his left side where they lessened enough to make Rey think that although his right side looked worse, his left still had cause for alarm. 

Rey heard Finn swear from the other cell at the same time as she let out a sympathetic groan.

She was moving to pull Ben shirt back to its original position when her shaky hands stilled. Her eyes were trained on Ben's torso, to the expanse of muscle at the bottom of his rib cage where the skin was a different shade of bruising- the purple from his ribs bled into the skin there, an area about the size of Rey's hand, but a kind of darkening red had spread. Rey furrowed her brow.

"Finn," Rey lent closer to Ben, hands ghosting over the area, too afraid to touch through fear of damaging him further. "I don't think this is broken ribs."

Finn was unspeaking in the other cell, unwilling to voice the truth that neither of them wanted to hear. Rey was the same as she reluctantly returned Ben's shirt to where it had been, the alarming discolouration of his skin now hidden from sight. She tried to move her focus elsewhere, away from the thought that told her that it looked like Ben's liver was shutting down. She pulled her eyes to his left where the back of his hand was grazed, the flesh there had caught on something and blood had beaded at the surface. Rey moved to cradle it, bringing the hand closer to her face with gentleness that suggested it was made of glass. 

"One of them stepped on it." Finn spoke up.

Rey looked to him and he continued.

"He was trying hit that nerf-herder but one of the guards got his hand before he could do anything."

Rey nodded, she couldn't do much else, as she lowered the hand back to the ground but not before pressing her lips to Ben's palm in a soft kiss.

Rey swallows.

"I'm going to try and move him." She doesn't know if she says it to inform Finn, or if she says it to reassure herself that she can actually do something to help Ben- even if it's only moving him to a less bloody section of floor.

"Mind his shoulder." Finn says, and Rey wants to snap at him because of course she's going to be mindful of his shoulder but she bites her tongue against the retort and moves to Ben's right side. Rey doesn't know much about the treatment of dislocated joints, the only experience she's had of them is from passing the odd person with an arm in a sling or their leg in a brace should she have been in the medical tent back on Ajan Kloss. She turns to Finn for guidance and her expression speaks for her. 

It turns out Finn is about as clueless as she is so they settle for laying Ben's arm across his chest- like it would be if he was wearing a sling. Rey is hesitant at first- what with the extensive bruising beneath Ben's shirt- but Rey had caught the end of the confrontation between him and the leader, heard the noise he made when his shoulder rolled back into its socket, and decides that slight pressure on broken ribs is better than risking his shoulder going again. 

Her aim is to get him to the far wall closest to the bars. From there she would be able to see right down the corridor to the wall with the exit as well as being able to see Finn if he sat close to the bars. She knelt and looked at the distance between Ben and the wall. It was strange, the distance was only about two metres and yet despite that, it seemed like an awfully long way.


	10. Chapter 10

He was dreaming.

Soft sheets weigh heavy around his waist as he lays on his side, head pillowed by his arm. Early morning light is peeking through the material he'd hung above the window in rays that draw attention to the otherwise unnoticeable dust that swims aimlessly through the air. 

For most of Ben's life, he'd always been rewarded with little sleep. It had never been a luxury that he could afford but when it did come, when days of sleepless nights finally brought him to his knees, the slumber that followed was never restful.

The nightmares had been bad when he was a child and yet somehow they seemed to get worse with age. As his knowledge grew, so did his ability to understand torment, and by the time Snoke had his claws latched onto him, Ben was already convinced that it was all part of his big plan to make him stronger. Little did he know that Snoke would only use him. Shape him into something that he would have no control over. Something he was convinced that he needed to be.

_A new Vader._

Snoke would invade his head with such force the moment he let his guard down, clawing at his mind and warping his fondest memories, turning those he thought he loved against him in the darkest forms, wrack his mind with unnatural pain. He considered it a good day if he didn't wake up screaming. He learnt pretty early on that there were no good days. 

Until now.

Those nightmares that plagued his mind hadn't bothered him in months now and he slept as often as he could and for as long as he was allowed and fortunately for him, the only person for planets around that was capable of entering his mind, was often in bed with him.

Her soft brown hair surrounded her like a halo as it spilled out over her pillow. Loose strands had fallen across her face in her sleep and Ben couldn't resist the temptation to reach out and brush it from her eyes. His touch was gentle as he did- his fingers tenderly skimming her skin in passing. Her closed eyes splayed her eyelashes against her cheeks, the warming sun had graced the stretch across her nose with light freckles that she liked to complain about but new she secretly loved. And her lips... Ben's gaze didn't linger there too long, instead he lent his head forward, cupping her jaw in his palm, and pressed his lips to hers. The action was done with such delicacy, as if any touch would break her. Ben new Rey was anything but fragile- she was strong, as strong as him, she didn't need protecting- but it was in moments like these that he thought she deserved this, to be treated with a delicate touch.

He feels her smile and he chuckles against her lips before doing the same. They pull apart then, foreheads resting together, they're both grinning like idiots and tiredness still glazes their eyes. It's in that moment, the morning light casting over her, that Ben looks at Rey, _truly_ looks at her- and she's practically glowing.

She's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

She's still smiling when she untangles her arms from the sheets and rests her hand at his cheek, her thumb gently pressed to the corner of his mouth- somewhere in the back of his mind, somewhere far away, he knows the contact should sting. 

He angles his head and presses a kiss to her palm. He closes his eyes, the light from the window- or maybe from her- warms his closed lids and he can feel her eyes on him. He imagines that, like the rest of her, they are shining. But in reality, the look he finds in hers eyes is almost pitiful. Yet she continues to smile.

"You're dreaming Ben."

He breathes in deeply and shifts closer to her. "I know." His head now rests at the crook of her neck. "But I don't have to go back just yet."

Ben feels Rey shuffle closer to him.

"No," she presses her lips to his forehead. "No, not yet."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was short but I've got a couple other lined up so it shouldn't be too long until the next one. 
> 
> Are space curtains and thing? I assume they are but for some reason it seemed weird to put curtains into Star Wars, idk. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you're all doing well and I hope you enjoyed this tiny chapter! :)


	11. Chapter 11

Her hands are in his hair.

Her gentle fingers move to smooth down or push aside unruly strands that have come astray in his sleep and now rest against his damp forehead. She really hopes that the sweat that had gathered there wasn't first sign of fever- that's the last thing the three of them need right now. Ben least of all. 

The move had be successful- to an extent: Rey had fallen twice as she dragged Ben the short distance to the wall. Ben was heavy, almost twice her size, and she she tried hard not to jostle his injuries too much but her attentive attitude didn't account for much and she knew the movement must of hurt him. Rey didn't think it was a good thing that he couldn't feel it.

She leans her back to the wall and her shoulder to the bars as she stares down the corridor, eyes fixed on that end wall as she curls her fingers in Ben's dark strands. She can't help but be on edge and she listens for any sound of approaching footsteps. The leader had said morning, which she soon realised was entirely unhelpful as she didn't know when his version of morning was, or when he'd said it, or what time it was now. All she knew was that she was tired and that she had been for a long while. 

Finn had finally fallen asleep after he'd insisted on staying awake when he caught on to the fact the there was no way Rey was sleeping until she knew Ben was okay. He'd even thrown Rey his jacket so to give to Ben after she'd noticed him shivering- she'd connected Ben's shivering to blood loss rather than the fact that these cells definitely weren't warm. She was glad that exhaustion had won Finn over in the end, he'd looked awful- they all did.

Ben's head is rested on her lap, his forehead pressed to her stomach- she'd tried to angle it so that the bruising she'd found along the bottom of his jaw wasn't pressing against her thigh, the left side of his face hadn't suffered as much as the right but the skin still looked sore. That was the case for the rest of him as well: if not for the broken rib or two on his left, the right side had sustained most of the damage, what with the cut at his cheek that had began to bruise along with the broken ribs, fragile shoulder and whatever it was that was going on internally.

That was what worried her most: she'd checked on the bruise at his side at least a dozen times in what must be over the two hours it had been since they'd settled, if you could call it that. The colour had gotten worse and it looked to be verging on black. Rey tried her best to put it to the back of her mind but it had a sort of looming presence that she kept coming back to.

She draws her gaze from that end wall and looks down at him. She'd positioned him so he was laying on his left side, she'd rather he was on his back as the pressure on his ribs wouldn't be as harsh but after seeing the amount of blood he'd thrown up on the other side of the room... she thought he'd appreciate it if he'd didn't wake up choking.

Her hands slow when her fingers pass over a small bump at the crown of Ben's head and she recalls a simpler time not that long ago when she had laughed at him and his stupidity to which he gave her one of his boyish grins. Now that memory threatens tears so she try's to focus on untangling the nots in Ben's hair. She hopes the repetitive motion gives him comfort or soothes him through his unrest- she hopes he can actually feel it at all.

She tried again, to reach him through the bond but was met with only a throbbing pain at her temples that made her nauseous.

She had reached him though. Or rather, in he first instance, they'd reached each other. She hadn't expected to meet him half way, she hadn't expected anything from him at that point, she'd thought his mind was preoccupied with trying to block out what was about to be done to him. She remembered how hard it had been to try and reach him, the concentration it had took. How he managed to equal that concentration from his side ... he never ceases to amaze her.

The second she'd heard her name spoken through their connection- it was like broken bone snapping back into place, the first indication in over a year that the barrier between the two of them was breaking and in that short moment of joy, Rey felt almost whole again.

That moment was gone in an instant though as the bond that she held so very tightly to was severed and she felt, if only for a second- pain. Pain of the purest kind, the kind that sent a shock through your body and stayed with you despite the contact no longer being there. Ben's pain.

Because it was him that closed their bond, to keep her form feeling too much. He'd cut their connection before he lost himself to that pain she'd only momentarily felt. Pain that he'd continued to feel for much too long afterwards. Rey hoped he didn't feel it now.

Her fingers are curling in the short strands at the base of his neck when she feels him tense. She stills her hand and her eyes widen as she leans over him. His tenseness leaves his body in the form of a shudder and he grunts quietly as his brow furrows.

Rey's decided she can no longer move so instead she whispers, "Ben?"

..............

There's a hand in his hair.

Blunt fingernails travel tentatively across his scalp to the base of his neck in a methodical cycle.

The gesture is welcome, soothing even, and he focuses on the slow, repetitive motion to ground himself through the daze that comes with regaining consciousness. 

The second thing he notices, it that this hand demands nothing. There is no ill intent behind it, no closely following pain, no questions asked that he's unwilling to answer. These hands simply give without expecting anything in return.

He can feel his left side pressing against the floor, the chilled bite of the stone seeps through his thin shirt and breaks through skin and muscle, latching onto bone. The hands slow for a moment when he can't help but shiver. The reaction passes through his body and the small movement reminds him of the pain he'd been in before he lost consciousness, his right shoulder is tense and he doesn't need to look to tell that's there's some pretty impressive swelling going on there. The perpetual throb of his cracked ribs has settled but become noticeable with every breath and the pain of whatever organ it was that cost him the fight before hand had become a constant ache that bleeds a wave of pain every once in a while. He knows that whatever discomfort that lies dormant now, will revisit him the second he moves. On the more positive side of things, the left side of his face is cushioned on something warm and soft, his forehead faces similar treatment. 

The next thing he notices is that he knows who these stilled hands belong to. 

A voice follows.

"Ben?"

..........

Rey wanted to jump for joy when Ben cracked an eye open but she reined in her delight and paused: she didn't know what for but she felt she had to wait for whatever it was. She just watched as Ben opened the other eye and tried to blink away the daze that accompanied waking. His vision seemed to clear and he turned his head ever so slightly as to meet her eyes through his hooded gaze. And then he did one thing that only he would do after such awful events not long passed.

He _smiled_.

It was weary, and came with a look of overwhelming fatigue that Rey hadn't seen on his face since the war: since the nightmares that plagued his mind kept him from sleep for days on end, the only rest he allowed himself came only when the bond between them flickered into place so they could sleep together. Because that was all it had been back then- _sleep_. Despite the developments they'd made in they're relationship that lead to activities much more physical than that, the simple act of falling asleep in each other's arms seemed intimate in a way that Rey couldn't explain.

She couldn't help but smile back.

She wanted to ask him so many things- she _needed_ to ask him most of them- and yet she couldn't get past his smile.

"Hey." She says the word so softly that she doesn't know if it's actually audible. Ben replies either way.

"Hey." His voice is hoarse and it doesn't surprise her, but he's speaking, and Rey would take his scratchy voice over screaming any day.

They stay like that for a minute, just staring at each other through watery eyes and lopsided smiles.

Ben's brow creases slightly, at first she thinks his in pain again but then his left hand is raised to her cheek, just bellow the burn there. His touch is soft as his fingers ghost her skin- his voice is too. "You said you were fine."

Rey just smiles and shakes her head, because of course he'd be worried about her. Despite his state, his concern is only for the wound crossing her cheek which looks like nothing in comparison to any part of him. The gesture is so unbelievably _Ben_.

She puts her hand atop his at her cheek and intertwines their fingers, leaning into his touch despite the slight stinging sensation.

He shudders again and Rey lowers their hands, moving to adjust Finn's jacket that she'd draped over him. The involuntary movement from him seemed to jar something, or everything, and he winced. Rey followed suit and apologised despite knowing she had nothing to do with his reaction. "Try not to move too much."

"What happened?" Ben asks as he mentally takes note of everything that hurts.

Rey huffs and if not for the dampness in her eyes she might of thought it was a laugh. "Actually, I was hoping I could ask you that." 

For a fleeting moment Rey considers not telling him, she would give anything to forget the last day and give even more for Ben to forget it too, but unless Poe bursts through that door with blasters and cavalry right now... 

Rey waits for a full ten second for the sound of distant explosions or alarm bells, or for the door to swing open on its hinges but it's to no avail. 

Ben catches on pretty quickly as Rey begrudgingly tells him the events of the past twenty four hours. Once he's up to speed, he's fills in any minor gaps that Rey inquires about though she avoids the big questions, putting them off for as long as she can. Against her protests, Ben manages- with the help,of a reluctant Rey- to shift onto his back, all the while keeping his right arm tight to his chest to better his shoulder in a way that shows this isn't his first time. The though unsettles Rey. All in all the conversation is short, it's simple and to the point, but by the end of it Ben's eyelids begin to fall.

"Rey, the bond-" 

"I know." She cuts him off with a knowing smile. They'd talk about it soon, but not now, not here.

"How's Finn?" His concern for the ex-trooper would of surprised her a year or so ago but Ben's concern for their tight group of friends that had morphed into a sort of dysfunctional family was commonplace now. He'd tried to hide his concern in the early days, claiming that they were her friends so he was obliged to enjoy their company but she'd seen right through him.

Rey didn't want him to have to crane his neck to see so she looked to the other cell for him. Finn was still slumped against the bars, just as he had been since he'd fallen asleep. She looked for the rise and fall of his chest before she turned back to Ben. "He's asleep," her hands are in his hair again. "The day finally caught up with him."

She watches Ben's tired eyes study her face and she wishes she could hide the dark patches beneath her eyes. She doesn't miss the way he goes to lift his right arm before remembering his situation or the way he then goes to lift his left but finds he'd used all his energy. In the end he just settles with words. "Looks like it's catching up to you too."

Rey raises an eyebrow. "Like you're one to talk," she brushes his hair from his forehead. "You can barely keep your eyes open."

Ben just hums lowly and lets his eyes close for a moment.

"Besides," Rey continues. "There's no way I'm sleeping when you're like this."

He doesn't open his eyes when he replies. "This isn't my first confrontation with this guy, Rey. I know my limits." 

She can tell he's avoiding giving the information necessary for her to believe that statement. It cuts too close to those big questions they'd both been skirting around- who was this guy, why were they here, what did they want with them- so she leaves it for now.

"I don't think you do." She says instead.

Ben tentatively adjusts his position so his ribs aren't screaming quite as loud as he speaks, and Rey can hear the slight slurring of his words as he fights his growing fatigue. "Sleep, Rey. Please. If The Head says he's got things ' _planned_ ' tomorrow, then he's really got things ' _planned_ ' tomorrow-" Rey didn't know if he was too tired to notice or too tired to care but he'd slipped up, he given a name. 

_The Head_ , Rey didn't think she'd heard it before but she had a strange felling that it was a name she should be wary of. 

"- so just try, for me. I'll be fine."

Rey shook her head and gave her own tired smile. "Ben." 

His eyes didn't open fully but he looked to her. She continued.

"Sometimes, I think you forget what 'fine' means."

The corners of his lips upturned slightly as his eyes closed and remained shut.

She intertwined her fingers with his at the hand on his chest and pressed a kiss to his forehead before leaning her head against the wall, eyes closing against her will. She wanted to stay awake, to make sure Ben was okay, but she trusted his judgment through his stubbornness and he was definitely right when he'd said the day was catching up to her. 

Her mind went to Poe, to wherever he was in her last moments before sleep took her. They could really use his help just about now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, he's lucid!
> 
> This one gave me FEELINGS. Were they're tears? Maybe a little one... or two. 
> 
> Hope you liked it!
> 
> Next ones gonna be from Poe. I'm sure he's doing fine...
> 
> :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hold on one second. Is that (*gasps*), _PLOT_?

"Are you sure?" Its Rose who asks the question, despite the fact she knows the answer already.

Poe looks like he might be sick as he runs a shaky had over his face. "I'm almost positive."

They'd been travelling through hyperspace for just under seven hours when they finally exited ten minutes ago- when Poe had found out where it was they were going and subsequently, where his friends were.

Chewie groans at him from the pilot's seat.

"Alright then, I'm one hundred percent positive!" Poe snaps at him.

The Wookiee just turns back to the stars in front of him.

"You're fine. You're good." The words spill from Rose's mouth as she pats Poe's back from where she's knelt in front of the General, who currently has his head between his knees.

Poe turns his head to look at her through squinted eyes. "Am I? Oh, that's good then." He returns his gaze to the floor. "Because I was starting to think I wasn't either of those things."

Poe can tell she doesn't know what to say to that and he can sense its because she's filled with an equally impending sense of dread that increases with every minute they spend moving forward toward their destination.

Towards _that_ destination.

He'd actually been doing okay for the past three hours since he and Rose had their little talk- or as okay as any of them could be in this situation. The two had joined Chewie and BB-8 in the cockpit after Rose had helped him convince the Wookiee that he was no longer restless and was now in full control of his bouncing limbs. Rose took the copilot's seat and Poe sat behind them, BB-8 beeping absentmindedly at his side.

The silence had been almost stifling at first: each of them knew that this would usually be the point in any mission that they'd all try and explain the game-plan, but at that point, they'd had know idea what to do. They had no clue as to whether or not they be fighting on the ground or in the air, if they were stupendously out numbered or not, or wether they'd actually need to resort to conflict at all. But with only coordinates to go off of, it didn't look like they'd get any questions answered until they'd got there. 

At the time, wherever it was they were going, it looked to be still in the remote outer region territories and the coordinates didn't look to match that if any planets, so they could only assume that they had a ship to look forward to- and a stationary one at that.

Chewie is a lot quieter than usual and hadn't even shown his annoyance at the porgs that had begun to bite at the seats and eventually it was Rose had to shoo them away to stop them from pulling out the padding. Poe could tell his friend was panicking. Maybe just as much as him: where Poe openly expresses his distress, Chewie had always done the opposite. 

Though he doesn't like to show it too often, Chewie cares about those close to him very deeply, but none more so than Ben. Much to the surprise of everyone, Chewbacca was one of the first to forgive the ex-Supreme Leader when he arrived on that day that marked the wars end Poe definitely hadn't understood why back then- the guy had indirectly killed his whole family, _directly_ in Han's case- but he does now. Chewie knew Ben longer than any of them now and he'd raised him as much as Han and Leia had so, really, Ben's the only real family he's got. 

And now Ben was gone. 

And somehow, knowing where it was he'd been taken made it so much worse.

Poe raised his head to look through the glass for the first time since they'd exited hyperspace. And the sight he sees is just as bad.

The bisected dreadnought is dead in the water and shrapnel of its shattered starboard wing surrounds them even at this distance. Chunks of metal glide past them like approaching cliff-faces and Poe can see where the durasteel had warped and melted against the impact of a ship the size of the Raddus as it met the behemoth head-on at lightspeed.

Poe has to remind himself that he needs to breath.

Because they all know what they're seeing.

Because it's the wreck of the _Supremacy_ that fills the horizon.

..........

"Well that's just _fucking_ amazing!" 

Poe's exclamation isn't directed at anyone in particular as he storms down the corridor to the cargo hold, the sound of the metal grating rattling beneath his boots trails him in his advance. He knows Chewie is following him and the wookiee growls after him.

"I _am_ calm!" Poe shouts back over his shoulder.

He'd reached the cargo hold now and has started rapidly opening crates- he doesn't know what it is he's looking for: hopefully something that will do lots of damage. _Preferably something that explodes._

He's casting aside the lid of the third one when Chewie finally comes through the door. The wookiee had told Rose to watch the controls and had followed Poe when the General stormed out the cockpit. 

Poe huffed in irritation: so far none of the crates had held any thing of promise and he'd kicked the fifth one over when it showed similar disappointment. He unclasped a lock on the sixth one when Chewie took a step towards him, asking him what he planned to do with the content of cargo that was outdated by at least six years.

"I don't know!" He snapped as he moved on to the seventh crate. It wouldn't open. He frowned and tried again but it remained sealed. He barley registered Chewie addressing him again, his patient tone louder as he drew closer. 

Poe punched the lock when it still didn't open. Letting a string of curses when one of his knuckles split against the metal. He mumbles something along the lines of ' _nerf-herding piece of shit_ ', before he took a step backwards, nearly crashing into the wookiee at his back before drawing his blaster and levelling it to the lock.

He didn't hear the growl of protest from behind him, nor did he acknowledge the furred hand on top of his that moved to take the weapon from his grip. Poe had failed to notice the tremor of his own hand or the tears building in his vision until Chewie had put the blaster on an unopened crate to his left.

Poe let out a shaky breath as he slid down the wall closest to him. His hands making firsts at his sides to avoid them pulling at his hair. 

Chewie leaned against a large crate opposite him. The two were quiet for a while.

Poe managed to swallow the lump in his throat and pinched the bridge of his nose. "This whole situation is really messed up."

Chewie exhaled in agreement.

Poe's thoughts were running rampant. He was supposed to get married- _married_ for fuck's sake, and he wouldn't be suprised if Rey and Ben followed suit at some point in the near future.

_If they had a future._

Poe groaned and dropped his head in his hands, pushing the thought from his mind. "Why can't we have normal lives, Chewie?" He rightly whines through his palms. "You know, the boring, uneventful ones in which the most harrowing thing that happens is your plants get eaten by banthas." He closes his eyes and rests his head back against the wall. "Because a life of that caliber that seems really nice right now."

Chewie nods but whines sorrowfully.

And it's Poe's turn to give reassurance. "We'll get him back, Chewie." He's starting to sound like a General again. "We'll get them all back."

The wookiee murmurs softly and Poe thinks on his question. Because what _would_ Leia do?

He knows for a fact that, had Leia been here- had she still been General and he still a Commander- all this may have gone down differently. 

_Maybe it wouldn't of happened at all._

Maybe he would of been with his friends when they were taken. Maybe the help of that one extra man would of turned the tide on the attack and none of this would of happened. Maybe he wouldn't of made a difference and he'd just be joining them in whatever cell or prison they were currently being held in- whatever death they might go through, but either way this situation would be _different_. And he sure as hell wouldn't be responsible for getting his family back.

But then again... as much as Leia liked to show her steely demeanour, the princess hadn't been made of stone. And despite the wrongdoings that her son had done, despite the grief he'd caused her, Ben was still that- her _son_. And Poe knows that had she been alive now, been able to see the man her son had become, she would be proud of him- and would do anything, despite the odds that _definitely_ were not on their side, to get him back.

Poe rises to his feet and offers his friend his hand- ever bit the General he hadn't been when he'd entered the room.

"Probably something stupidly reckless." 

The wookiee takes his hand and Poe pulls him up. 

"Though I imagine it would have a lot of influence from Han, so probably something _really_ stupidly reckless."

The Co-General of the Resistance turns for the door. 

"Right then." Poe takes a deep breath and starts for the cockpit. "Stupidly reckless."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for all the nice comments recently!! It's always nice to hear your thoughts on my awful writing.
> 
> I thought it would be cool to put the Supremacy in here somewhere, so I hope it's fitting.
> 
> And I hoped you enjoyed! :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _That's not how the force works!_

Finn's been awake for what he imagines is half an hour when he finally hears movement from the other cell. He'd been so concentrated on listening for footsteps down the hall that he almost misses it. His neck, which was already sore from the the angle he'd slept at, had become worse as the last thirty minutes had mainly consisted of him looking over his shoulder to see if Ben was still breathing. Rey had finally fallen asleep which either meant that Ben had woken and was well enough to assure her she could get some rest, or she no longer had the energy to keep her eyes open. Finn hoped it was the former but with no real way of knowing other than waking her, he instead felt it best to watch for the rise and fall of Ben's chest every few minutes- or seconds.

Finn turned his head to the other cell and to his relief, and surprise, it was Ben that was stirring. The man stiffened, causing Finn's jacket to slide off his torso. The action drew a wince from him and Rey jolted awake at the sound.

Finn watched her try to recall why she was in a cell before grim recognition crossed her features. The expression doesn't stick for long as within a second her hands are ghosting over Ben demanding he tells her what hurts. 

Ben reassures her with a wave of his grazed left hand and Finn can see where the blood had scabbed across each knuckle. 

"I'm fine, I'm fine." Ben replies and Finn thinks his mind must be playing tricks on him again as he swears he can hear a smile in Ben's voice.

Rey nods like she agrees but the blatant worry on her face tells Finn otherwise. Ben picks up on this uses the same hand to search for hers. He laces their fingers together and the tension in Rey's shoulders seems to ebb away at his touch.

Finn knows he should announce his presence but he isn't sure how. In the end he just goes with, "Hey."

Rey's attention turns to him then and their eyes meet. Ben is slower to turn but he manages to roll his head to look to the other cell. Rey gives him a weary smile but it's Ben who speaks.

"Hey Finn."

Finn knows that Ben doesn't like receiving pity: after spending most of his life with it being used to patronise or put emphasis on failure, Finn understands why he'd have a dislike towards it. Finn doesn't think he'd take it the wrong way now but he tries to keep his face void of it anyway, because the guy looked rough.

"Hey Ben. How you doing?" 

Ben smiles slightly and his eyelids flutter in an attempt to keep them open. He takes a moment before replying on an outward sigh. 

"Peachy." He blinks in an attempt to clear his vision. "You?"

Suddenly Finn doesn't know how to reply to that. 

_How was he doing?_

'Not great' would be the most accurate answer but he's aware of the lack of morale weighing on them all so decides against it. Instead he just nods as he speaks.

"Peachy just about sums it up."

Ben lets out a noise that Finn recognises as a chuckle but it's cut short as the sound morphs into a grimace and he stiffens with a groan. Both Finn and Rey can't help the sympathetic looks they give Ben as he rolls his head to face the ceiling.

Finn watches as Rey's hand gently closes around Ben's right wrist and she whispers instructions that Finn can't hear to the other man. Ben stiffly manoeuvres his right arm so it lays straight against his side so Rey can pull his shirt up. 

From the other cell, Finn can see that Ben's upper torso is a canvas of varying shades of purple, but it is not that mottled vibrancy that draws his attention. Finn's eyes fall on the space at his right side where a previously darkening, red bruise, had turned to a shade not far from black.

Rey swore.

"That doesn't look good." Finn doesn't know what else to say.

Ben raises his head to look at his side before exhaling through his nose. "No, it doesn't." He looks to Rey who looks like she might throw up. "Don't waste your energy worrying about me, Rey. There's nothing we can do right now." 

Finn knows that on any other day, that kind of talk coming from Ben would of earned him a slap on the shoulder or, in milder cases, a particularly harsh glare- but on this occasion Ben gets neither. And Finn knows it's not just because he's injured. There was nothing they could do. 

Upon waking up that first time, both he and Rey had tried prying their cell doors open with no avail. Even if the doors did open, they had no idea where they were or how many people they would have to get through to find a suitable means to get out of here. They had no weapons, no use of the force, and on top of that all, they would probably have to carry Ben- which took two people on a good day.

The acceptance of Ben's words was beginning to become morbid when Rey spoke up, and her words hung heavy in the air. "What's happening Ben?"

...........

And there it was. That big question they'd been avoiding for as long as they could now hung in the air and Rey couldn't help but think that it mixed wonderfully with the silence that followed.

All attention was on Ben and Rey imagines she can actually see the cogs turning in his head as he tries to form the best way to answer her. Several times he looks like he's going to say something, and he even opens his mouth to speak on one accession but he decides otherwise every time. Rey really doesn't want to mention that, by now, they're probably pushed for time- _but_ they're probably pushed for time.

"Ben-" she starts, but he cuts her off.

"I know." 

He takes a deep breath and turns to her, words on his lips, but at the last minute he turns to Finn instead.

"Did you ever go to reconditioning?"

Rey knows he hasn't changed the subject but his response still confuses her. She frowns before looking to Finn who looks like he's just as taken aback.

"Uh," Finn shrugs and looks to the side. "Yeah, I went a couple times." He bites the inside of his cheek as he recalls separate events. "I knew others that went more often than me but either way the end result was never good and always painful." He looks to ben inquisitively. "Why?"

Ben takes another breath before continuing. "You ever hear of a guy called _The Head_?" 

Rey watches Finn shift slightly and she thinks she sees him shudder. "All of us heard of The Head. The guy practically wrote the book on _discipline_ , as they so eloquently put it." Finn scoffed an shook his head. 

Rey guesses that 'discipline' was widely expanded on. 

Finn continues. "It was all rumour though, just passed around words. I don't think anyone ever met him. Some of us doubted if he was even real, just a scare tactic used to keep us in place."

Ben let out a humourless laugh and Rey felt him tense as pain flashed on his face, the action jostling his broken bones. "I'm pretty sure he's real." The pain on his face doesn't fade and he closes his eyes against it. Rey thinks she can see blood form at the corner of his mouth. " _Very_ real."

A small amount of red runs from his mouth and Rey is wiping the liquid away with her thumb when Finn connects the dots and his realisation comes in a string of a several unintelligible words before she understands any of it.

"That's The Head!" He splutters, arm stretched out and pointing towards the door. He doesn't leave Ben room to answer before he speaks again. "You're sure?" Finn eyes are somehow expressing a sort of prolonged double-take.

Ben rolls his eyes and the familiarity of the gesture comforts Rey. "I have a very long and unpleasant history with him so, yes, I'm sure."

Now it's her turn to make connections. 

Rey wouldn't go as far as to say that it was common knowledge that Ben had scars. The summer heat on Ajan Kloss saw to it that Ben was lacking on the shirt-front for the better part of that whole season so he didn't exactly feel discreetly about how they looked on his skin. His chest was a myriad of cuts and burns long since inflicted and parts of his back were practically patchwork: a lot of his otherwise toned skin had been carved away in the wake of harsh lashings, but in some places the skin was simply marred- like liquid had been poured there and had stuck, eating away at flesh and down to muscle.

She had scars too, though she'd never compared them to his: a life and childhood on Jakku wasn't something anyone could of come away from unscathed- the marks on her body were proof of that. It was something she knew always managed to irritate Ben: her telling him his scars were paramount to hers. It's was something he'd always told her she was wrong about, because scars were scars to him. How you got them or how many you have never outweighs the fact that you have them. How you choose to react to them being on your skin is your choice.

It had never been a touchy subject, their scars, it was just something they didn't talk about often. He knew she got hers from her time on Jakku, and she knew he got his during his life in the First Order. The opportunity to talk had always been, and always will, be there but neither of them had taken the other up on this silent offer.

Rey had assumed his came from Snoke, but she knew from several nights when the bond had still been connecting them, that the after affects of those sessions often left more of a mental strain on him rather than physical, so she had wondered where the marks had come from.

Now she was piecing together that perhaps they hadn't come from Snoke after all.

Finn had managed to calm his bewilderment which makes Rey think he'd picked up on her unease. 

She drops her gaze down to Ben when she feels him shift.

He'd positioned his left arm at an angle that suggests he's about to sit up, but Rey knows that he isn't stupid enough to think that would be a good idea. But, inevitably, she's proven wrong when he looks to her for aid.

"Can you-" he's cut off by a wince.

She tries putting a hand to Ben's chest to keep him down but she's also trying her best to refrain from applying the slightest pressure through fear of hurting him. "Ben, I don't think that's a good idea."

"Yeah, I second that-" Finn try's, but Ben's already attempting to get his torso of the floor and Rey would rather be doing anything else as she reluctantly helps position him against the wall. 

Ben looks like he's spent by the time his back's to the wall, right arm still held tight across his chest and and the other wrapped around his ribs. He groans as he stretches his legs out in front of him and he wipes the blood now dripping from the edge of his mouth on the inside of his wrist. The sound of his laboured breath fills the cells and Rey glares at him and his recklessness. Finn's doing something similar.

"My ass do you ' _know your limits_ '!" She exclaims in a poor imitation of Ben's voice. "If you did you'd stop moving!"

Ben looks taken aback.

"Yeah, you're an idiot." Finn says and Rey thinks Ben would shrug if he could.

"What?" He uselessly defends himself.

Finn looks like he's about to go on a rant but Rey speaks over him, her face worrisome, unable to move her attention from the fact that there was still something very wrong with the man to her left. 

"What did he give you?"

Ben's expression softens and he closes his mouth against the harsh words he'd been about to throw at Finn. He gathers his thoughts before explaining in detail how the drugs still running through his system work.

Rey gave him a confused look. "But if they're used to suppress the force, and they know that I can use the force," she frowns, gathering thoughts together. "Why didn't they give it to me too?"

Ben held out his hand. "They probably did."

Rey somehow manages to look more confused, but she gives him her hand anyway. 

Ben's calloused palm moves above her's and up her forearm before stopping at her elbow, his eyes focusing on something there. "You see?" His thumb moves softly over the tanned skin at the inside of her arm.

Rey looks closer and is a little more than surprised at what she finds there. She gasps when her eyes find the tiny dot of red against the otherwise unmarried skin there- the newly clear evidence that a needle had recently broken the surface there. They must of done it while she was still unconscious. She's about to start panicking, her breathing speeding up along with her pulse, when Ben closes his hand over the tiny mark, obscuring it from her sight.

"Your fine, Rey." Alarm is clear in the way her eyes dart to his. "Headache? Hands a little shaky? Feels like a really awful hangover?" She'd blamed the broken light between the cells for the incessant ache behind her eyes and she'd thought the tremor of hands to be a natural side effect to their dire situation. "I'm right, aren't I?" He lowers his head down to where she'd dropped her gaze so their eyes meet, reassurance practically emits from him. "Believe it or not, this guy knows what he's doing. If he wanted to give you an overdose he would have, and if he did, you would know it by now." His bloodied hand moves back down to hers before he brings it to his mouth so he can press his lips to her knuckles. "You're okay."

Her breathing has returned to normal but she still has to fight to swallow. "Is that what happened to you? An overdose?"

Ben nods slowly, but his expression is uncertain. "Yeah, I think so."

Finn voices what Rey's thinking. "You _think_ so."

Ben shakes his head. "I don't know- I mean... I've had overdoses before but nothing like-" he nods to the corner, to where his blood still stains the floor. "-that." He frowns. "I've never been conscious during one before- I wasn't _supposed_ to be conscious." He shakes his head again, frown deepening in thought. "Something went wrong."

Rey doesn't care if he was conscious or not- the idea of Ben having gone through something like that by himself and then having to walk away from it with no one to go to makes her blood boil.

"Do you think it's because you don't actually _have_ direct access to the force?" She questions. "Maybe the drug went into your system looking to cut your connection to the force but found that its job was done already." 

Both Ben and Finn send confused looks in her direction.

She looks to her companions as if to say, _bare with me_. "So suddenly there's too much of a useless drug in your blood that has to find something to do." She looked to Ben's side, to that black bruise beneath his shirt. "Has to find something to _cut_."

It Finn's turn to frown as he asks, "Do they have any traces of the force in them?"

Ben looks up, frown still firmly in place. "What?"

"The suppressants," Finn reiterates. "Do they have any traces of the force in them?" He nods in Ben's direction. "Yours specifically."

Ben shrugs, looking as confused as Rey feels. "I guess, from a bio-technological point of view, they would have to have at least a trace for them to work." He runs a hand through his hair. "I have no idea how they could of harnessed it though." He looks to Finn as if earning him to continue.

"So you're telling me," Finn points to Ben. "That you're given something that actually contains some of your force signature- which is, _if you didn't know_ , one of the things you've been without for something like two years-"

"Nineteen months." Ben corrects him, unconsciously.

"-something like _nineteen months_ ," Finn emphasises. "And within the hour," he gestures between Rey and Ben. "Your magical force bond, dyad, _thingy_ \- whatever it is- decides to power back up again. And we think this is what-" his eyes glance back and fourth between them. "A _coincidence_?"

Rey looks to her other half and finds him looking to her. She turns back to her friend. "What are you suggesting?" She asks, still not entirely making sense of what's being said.

"I'm not _suggesting_ anything, I'm just saying that maybe you should be open to the idea that there's a possibility that the answer to your force problems is in front of us," Finn rubs at the back of his neck. "But we just can't see it yet."

Ben nods, absentmindedly but Rey can see more blood forming at the corners of his mouth. "You might be on to somethi-" suddenly there's to much blood and all the hours that Rey had spent awake trying to get him not to choke were thrown out the window with Ben's first cough. As it's followed by another. And another. Each one forcing his rib cage to expand against the well wishes of his broken bones.

Before Rey knows what's happening, Ben is doubling over and she doesn't catch him in time to stop his right arm, which he'd instinctively put out in front of him, from connecting with the floor. The arm would of buckled had she not wrapped her own around his front to keep him from falling completely but the pressure he'd already put on his shoulder causes him to cry out through his chocking drawing a sound Rey doesn't want to hear again anytime soon. 

"Your fine." She reassures him just as he had for her. The difference is is he's not fine but Rey doesn't know what else to say. "Your okay."

The coughing lessens and Ben straightens as best he can and Rey can see the crimson now coating his chin. She grimaces at the words she doesn't want to say. "How long do you think you have."

Ben shakes his head as the last of the coughs leave him. "A day." He spits blood to the side. "Two, at a push." 

Rey nods and lets out a shaky, "Okay."

"It won't come to that." Finn says from the other cell. "Poe's on his way."

"Dameron's coming?" Ben's words are slurred through the thick liquid coating his mouth. 

"Finn's got a tracker he's following." She smiles. "He'll be hear soon." Rey doesn't know that. In fact she has no way of knowing that, but the relieved exhale that Ben gives makes Rey think it's worth the possible lie.

"Rey," there's warning in Finn's voice and when she looks to him, his eyes are on the door at the end of the hall.

_Oh, no._

She looks to Ben. "Can you stand?" 

He shakes his head. "I won't have a choice soon anyway." 

Rey loops his left arm around her shoulders and it's a joint effort to get him to his feet.

"You good?" She asks him when he groans.

Ben looks at her then and smiles through crimson teeth. "No."

The door slams open and a voice of sadistic glee fills the room.

"Rise and shine rebel scum!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was long. I really enjoyed writing that one, don't know why but I just found it really easy.
> 
> Things are going to get a lot worse for these guys before it gets better, so fasten your seatbelts!
> 
> I had to split the next one in two because it was coming close to 6,000 words so expect that soon!
> 
> Thank you for reading! :)


	14. Chapter 14

Finn didn't know wether to watch Rey struggle to stay upright under the weight of Ben, or watch The Head who had now fully entered the room.

The Head. That's who this guy was- Finn knew that now and it unsettled him much more than he was comfortable with. He squared his shoulders as the man- _the monster_ \- passed his cell, trying his best not to look intimidated. He liked to think that The Head couldn't see through his charade but in reality he knew otherwise.

Finn's focus had been so intranced on The Head that he almost failed to register the five others that entered the room with him. Finn immediately recognises the trigger happy guard with the now crudely repaired broken nose who follows behind The Head.

"Ren!" The Head greets Ben as if he were talking to an old friend, going straight to the end cell with thought. "Glad to see you made it through the night-" he looked the man up and down. "If just only." 

Ben shifted on his feet slightly, trying to lessen the weight he was putting on Rey, but the action only resulted in a poor attempt to muffle a groan. "Can't say the same for you." Finn knew Ben meant for the retort to be louder, hold more power, but the slurring that came with exhaustion tainted his words.

"You wound me." The Head motions to the cell door and one of the five others accompanying him moves to unlock it. "As promised, a day of fun awaits." The door to his friends' cell opens and two guards file in. "I hope you all got your beauty sleep."

Finn can see how Rey grip on Ben's waist tightens as The Head enters the cell, hands leisurely clasped behind his back.

"Now if you wouldn't mind, girly," The Head speaks like he's talking to a child that's picked up something it shouldn't of. "We'll be taking Ren off your hands now."

Rey steps back and Ben has no choice but to follow.

Finn can't see the man's face, but he imagines The Head is rolling his eyes.

"Look, we're taking him one way or another so it's up to you to decide how painful that experience will be for him." He shrugs. "It's your choice, but keep in mind I'm not known for my patience."

Reluctance is clear in every part of Rey and for a second, Finn truly believes that she isn't going to let them take the man she so tightly held to.

"In fact, I'd say I'm known for my _lack_ of patience."

But then Ben is gently pulling away from the grip she had on his wrist. "Rey its fine." The solemnness in his eyes says otherwise. "Let them."

Rey shakes her head and Finn can only just hear her whisper. "It's not fine, Ben." She relents for a second more but eventually folds under Ben's look and she unwillingly removes his arm from around her neck, leaving him standing on unsteady legs.

The Head smiles. "Good call, now back up."

Finn watches Rey looks to Ben before she complies, taking three backward steps away from him, not trusting the idea of having her back to the room.

One of two the guards who'd entered their cell starts forward with cuffs intended for Ben, and Finn doesn't miss the way his stride falters when the imposing gaze of the ex-Supreme Leader is suddenly trained on him- the focus of those dark eyes still managing to be the most intimidating thing in the room despite their pained haze. The guard regains his composure quickly and Ben grunts as the arm he'd been holding to his chest is wrenched downwards, pulling at the unwilling muscles of his shoulder.

The Head doesn't try to conceal the smirk that the sound brings him. 

Finn's glaring daggers at him but he doesn't seem to notice.

The Head turns and makes to exit the cell, but stops in the doorway and gives Ben a mocking bow. "After you."

Finn can tell that the first step that Ben makes is the hardest, his movements stiff and restricted by pain, but he knows he can't afford to be slow so he sets a steady, if not shaky, pace towards the door. 

The Head still stands over the threshold and continues to be, even as Ben approaches, but Finn can see that Ben's an old hand at playing this guys game so he doesn't slow, even as he has to turn his body to face The Head as he side steps through the door. 

The Head is somehow unaffected by the glare Ben levels at him in that moment and chooses to grin instead, undoubtedly amused by the close proximity the narrowness of the door allows him.

Two of the guards meet Ben on the other side of the bars and along with the two behind him, he's lead down the corridor.

Ben and he share a silent look as he's lead past his cell and Finn hopes he can see the blatant ' _Good luck_ ' that reads on his face.

The stiff nod he receives is conformation enough as Ben is lead from the room.

"Don't worry-" 

Finn's attention is bought back to the Head and the remaining guard- the trigger happy one, he realises.

"- there's so much blood on his at this point, you probably won't see the extra damage." He's picking at his nails. "But don't fret too much," he raises his gaze briefly. "You're coming too."

 _Like hell she is_.

"Wait." Finn has no control of the words passing his lips, but the outburst certainly attracts attention. "You don't want her, she doesn't know anything." He takes a step closer to the bars. "If you want information, take me instead."

The Head lets out a humoured scoff. "Who says I'm looking for information?"

Finn doesn't think too long on the implications of that statement. He instead reiterates, his voice steady- authoritative in a General kind of way. "You don't want her, take me instead."

The Head turns fully, his full attention on him now and Finn try's his best not to squirm under his scrutiny. "And why should I do that? To my knowledge, you're nobody. Just collateral damage that got caught up in this oh so wonderful mess." He pauses before his expression morphs into reserved mischief. " _Unless_..."

Finn knows that the silence that follows is meant for him. The anticipation is suffocating. He glances at Rey and she's shaking her head, eyes pleading him to keep his mouth shut. "Finn-"

"Quiet." The Head silences her with an outstretched arm in her direction.

He inhales and swallows, knowing it's the deep breath before the plunge. 

And then it all comes out.

"FN-2187, defected stormtrooper and Co-General of the Resistance." He doesn't grace The Head with a bow because he wants to curl in on himself. Because things can only get worse from here.

The Heads mouth falls open in exaggerated shock that goes disgustingly well with the glee behind his eyes as he looks between Finn and Rey.

" _General_ ," he grins. "Well that changes things then, doesn't it?" He turns to Rey. "Looks like you lucked out, girly." 

Rey looks torn, she moves to step forward but that fucking guard with the blaster shoots at the space in front of her feet and she stumbles back, catching herself on the wall. 

The Head is tossed the keys and is opening Finn's cell. A set of cuffs appear out of nowhere and they're tightly bound around his wrists before he knows what's happening. The next thing he knows, he's being pushed into the corridor and directed out the room. The guard with the blaster is at his back and The Head speaks from in front of him. "Try anything and the girl dies." 

He believes him.

As he's walked from the room, he's distantly aware of Rey calling his name, but Finn... Finn is terrified- because he's pretty sure he's about to have some quality time with The Head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Star Wars day!
> 
> Here's a chapter as a gift. Hope you liked it :)
> 
> Next ones gonna be long and pretty bloody, but what's new there. 
> 
> Hope you're all staying safe :)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in a day? It must be may 4th.

The way there is short. Finn commits every turn and corner to memory for when they escape. _When_ \- because they will. He keeps that in his mind as they take a right turn and, like the last three, Finn knows which way they're going before they get there because the fresh blood at his feet tells him that the other guards had already taken Ben down this route.

The corridors look like that of a First Order ship and, judging by the quality of his surroundings, a big one at that. But the events of recent years meant that the Resistance had destroyed or withheld any ships of their's that were bigger than a cargo freighter. How one of this magnitude managed to slip under the radar was something that Finn struggled to comprehend.

After a final left turn, he's lead lead through a doorway that opens into a spacious room. Most of it is filled with empty space save for two chairs sat back-to-back at its centre. And that's where Finn's eyes go first.

He knew Ben had arrived before him but the time between their separate arrivals had barely been minutes- Ben looked like he'd been here for hours. His chin rests against his chest as his head hangs forward, neck bent at a painful looking angle and blood drips lazily from his parted lips that could either be from his deteriorating organs or his newly split lip.

The Head strode forward to the far end of the room where a table sat against the whole stretch of the wall as two guards that had been waiting at the door wrestled Finn into the other chair- uncuffing one hand so they could be tied around the chair's back. 

Finn took this moment to look back over his shoulder. "Ben." 

The durasteel bit into his wrists and the new position pulled the muscles in his arms taught in a way that must be hell on Ben's bad shoulder. 

Both the guards leave but the one with the blaster takes post just inside the room near the door.

There was no reply from the man behind him so Finn tries again. " _Ben_."

He didn't think he'd get a response but he had no time to listen for one as suddenly The Head was in front of him, fists closed and arms outstretched to Finn.

"Just a little ice-breaker." His closed palms open to reveal two identical vials. He gestures to the one in his right hand. "One's a normal shot," then to the other hand. "The other's an overdose." 

The word 'overdose' sets off immediate alarm bells in Finn's head.

Those hands then move behind The Head's back and out of Finn's sight. The sound of glass clinking against glass mixed with the sound of Ben's blood dripping on the floor behind him fills the room as the vials move from hand to hand before they're presented to Finn again. 

Finn looked between each hand, then to the face above him, unsure as to what he was supposed to do.

The Head gave an exaggerated eye role. "Pick one. Keeping in mind, of course, that another overdose will probably kill him."

 _Shi_ t.

Finn drops his gaze, eyes darting from left to right.

"Though," The Head adds, shrugging. "He's surprised me before, so who knows."

Finn could spend forever thinking over which hand this guy would more likely put the overdose in but when it came down to it, it was the simple choice of left or right.

He chose and The Head pocketed the other, giving Finn a congratulating grin as he walked back over to the table. "Luck appears to be on your side, General."

Finn lets out a shaky exhale as some of the tension left his shoulders- if he didn't die here, the stress sure as hell is going to shorten his life expectancy.

The Head was at his side now, newly assembled syringe in hand, but Finn's attention was on the man at his back. The Head grabs a fistful of Ben's hair and wrenches his head upright. Finn expects to hear the tell tale hiss of the syringe telling him that more of that shit is in Ben's system but it doesn't reach his ears.

The Head is still as he watches the blood run from Ben's mouth, his eyes follow the red as it travels down his chin where more of the crimson is at different stages of drying before it drips off his jaw and spreads through the thin material of his dark shirt. 

Finn doesn't know what's going on in that mind of The Head then, but he's positive it's something sadistic and the silence that comes with his lack of words is somehow more unsettling than any threats he'd previously uttered.

When The Head comes out of his twisted stupor, he pulls Ben's head to the side to expose his neck and drives the needle into the hollow of his jaw.

The hiss of the plunger injecting the liquid isn't followed by a wince which- _surprise, surprise_ \- isn't good, because Finn knows that Ben should be able to feel that. 

The grip on Ben's hair is gone and his head is allowed to go back to where it was lolling against his chest as The Head rounds the chairs so he's in front of Finn again. He tosses the now useless syringe at the table and fixes Finn with a smile.

"Well, it doesn't look like he's waking up anytime soon so it looks like it's just you and me for now, _General_."

Silence follows his words and it takes Finn a minute to realise that The Head probably expects him to say something, but the only things Finn has to say to the man in front of him would probably end with pain as a retort. So he lets the silence drag out until The Head folds with an exasperated sigh. 

"You Resistance people-" he whines. "You never have anything to say." He lowers himself to the floor in front of Finn's chair and stretches his legs out. "You all break easy and do it stoically." He crosses one leg over the other before he continues. "And you've all clearly had an affect on Ren over there. I used to be able to spend a good four hours working at him before he even thought of passing out-" he waves a hand to the space behind Finn. "- now look at him." He shakes his head before meeting Finn's eyes. "But enough about Ren. Lets talk about _you._ "

Finn tries to keep his face void of anything except maybe anger.

The Head rises and cracks his knuckles as he stretches before he begins pacing the length of Finn's side of the room.

"General one of two." The Head drawls. "Who's the other one again?"

Finn says nothing and guesses The Head expected as much and it takes him a length of the room before he continues. " _Ah_ yes, I remember." he turns back to Finn. "The prettyboy pilot." 

Finn has to bite his tongue. 

"Dameron, wasn't it?" He inquires.

Finn has to bite harder to keep from showing the discomfort that Poe's name from this guy's mouth brings him.

"I bet he's missing your company." The Head raises an eyebrow giving him a suggestive look. "I've heard some dirty things about you two." 

That snaps something. "You best shut your mouth." 

"Oh there it is-" The Head bends backwards, relishing in Finn outburst. "There's the fire you all try so hard to hide!" He straightens with a grin and pints to Finn. "I hit a soft spot, didn't I?"

Finn's fists clench behind his back as he tries, unsuccessfully, to rein in his anger. Looking anywhere but The Head.

"Oh I _really_ did." He moves closer, lowering his head to try and catch Finn's gaze. "I imagine you care about him very much." He crouches at his feet. "You rebels all care to much. You care and then you all somehow manage to act surprised when you feel loss after the things you care for are taken from you. It's pathetic, really." He rocks back on his heels. "Take a leaf out my book- _don't_ care. Things are all steady going if you go by that." He gestures to Finn. "Look where caring got you: you could be in your cell right now, but oh no- you have to play the hero." He tilts his head to the side. "What would your General think if that."

Finn can't help but glare at him then.

The Head isn't bothered and it worries Finn that he can see him forming ideas in his mind.

"I'm sure Ren would like to join in this conversation." Then he's on his feet and rounding Finn's chair to get to Ben.

"Leave him, you asshole." Finn warns, though the cuffs around his wrists remind him that any threats he throws would be futile.

The Head is stood in front of Ben now, pondering how to approach waking him. "You don't call the shots here General." 

The sharp sound of The Head's hand impacting Ben's face is loud in Finn's ears but he's too focused on the pain at the back of his skull as Ben's jolts awake, smashing their heads together in the process.

"Wakey wakey Ren, you're missing out."

Ben lets out several strangled chokes that Finn knows are accompanied by blood and he can hear boots scrape against the floor as Ben desperately tries to escape the pain he'd suddenly been faced with again.

The Head had walked over to the table and began looking at the vast array of pain-inducing implements that lay atop it. "Me and the General here were just having a wonderful conversation and I figured you'd like to join."

Finn hears more so than sees Ben still- to the best of his ability- as he looks around the room, taking in his surroundings in a way that makes Finn think he must of passed out before he entered it. 

Ben does a double-take as he finally looks over his shoulder and sees Finn behind him. 

Finn tries to give a sheepish smile but it turns into a grimace somewhere down the line.

" _Fuck_." Ben says on an exhale.

"Yeah, I know." Finn says, keeping one eye on The Head who's making various oohs and aahs as he tests different devices that whir or spit flame. "I managed to convince him to take me instead of Rey."

"Good-" Ben replies through gritted teeth as he tries again to move his torso into a less agonising position. "-that's good." Finn knows it's not an insult so he doesn't take it as one. Ben spits a mouthful of blood to the side.

"Man, you've got to stop moving." 

Ben huffs and his movements lessen. "He knows you're the General?" He manages through a wince.

Finn nods. "I had to tell him." He looks over his shoulder. "That's not good, is it?"

Ben shakes his head. "No."

The Head returns to his previous spot in front of Ben, having chosen a simple combat knife in the end. 

"So, what do you say Ren, you wanna join the fun?."

Finn tries his best to crane his neck to observe the scene behind him.

The Head presses the tip on the blade under Ben's chin, forcing him to tip his head back. "You want to tell us what you did to poor Poe Dameron?" 

Finn's eyes close.

 _So this was where this was going_.

Finn knows that what happened between Poe and Ben all that time ago acted as an unmovable barrier between them for a very long time. The strain on Poe's mind took until the end of the war to fully heal even longer for him to fully forgive Ben, but it was still one of the more personally unpleasant memories that they were all wary of- chose it not to be something to bring up over dinner.

And it appears that The Head new that.

Ben doesn't reply to the question, choosing to remain silent.

"Yeah, I expected as much." The Head says, withdrawing the blade that leaves a bead of blood after the inevitable lack of reply. "I'll speak for you then." The Head grabs at Ben's bad shoulder in passing and Ben grunts bites back a cry that comes out as a muffled grunt. 

"Does General Finn know the details? The real juicy ones?" He rounds so Finn can see him. The Head sighs. "I bet you never talk about it. Too _taboo_ for your innocent minds." He rolls his eyes. "Don't talk about the wrongs of the redeemed and all that. You resistance lot are all so boring." A mischievous look flickers in his eyes. "Except for Dameron of course." He casts a sly glance Ben's way. "Isn't that right Ren?"

Finn trains his eyes on the ground and tries to block out what's about to be said.

"I never met him," The Head recalls, clearing a space on the table before sitting atop it. "A shame really- I always like the chatty ones."

Finn's biting his tongue again.

"I remember hearing that he had so much to say." He pauses and blinks a few times, rollling the blade in his hands. "And yet all of it was completely irrelevant."

It's silent again and somehow Finn can hear the smirk on The Head's face.

"Until your best boy Ben stepped in." The abrupt sound of the knife embedding itself in the table makes Finn flinch and, judging from the hiss at his back, Ben does too.

"How many times was it Ren?" He pulls the knife out but stabs it again, its slightly less jarring. "How many rounds did you go with Poe dameron before he spilt his secrets?"

Finn can feel the shame rolling off the man at his back and he wants to tell him that he's been forgiven, that he didn't need to listen to this, but Finn's mouth is in control and there are words forming on his tongue.

"Stop." It's quite, spoken under his breath. If The Head hears him, he's ignored.

"Three? Four? I remember hearing the screams for a while." He scoffs and the knife hits the table again. "I must of been three doors down but those screams still carried."

Ben is looking at the other side of the room, eyes distant with shame and a wave of pain.

"Tell me, Kylo-" 

"Shut up." Finn says again, louder.

"-In the end did the pilot speak those secrets?" His smile is feral. "Or did you rip them from his mind?"

"I said shut up!" Finn is shouting now- and this time he's acknowledged.

The Head is too quick for Finn to see him move but suddenly his focus isn't on the man on the table. It's drawn to the outside of his own thigh, and the small blade sticking out of it.

Finn cries out in impact and then he's pulling at his restraints. The cuffs on his wrists pinch at his flesh but Finn pulls on them harder to try and move his attention away from his leg.

Behind him, Ben's situation is similar: another identical blade is in in the same place on Ben's thigh- but he only tenses at the impact, all his injuries had morphed into one large sensation of pain. The new addition to the collection just makes him want to close his eyes that little bit more. A pained moan is all that marks a new wave of agony as his eyelids start to flutter.

The Head sighs in an irritated manner. He points to Finn. "You're too loud-" then to Ben. "- you're too quiet. Lets try and find a midpoint here people."

Finn is still breathing through gritted teeth as he feels warmth spread around the knife and a glance at the wound shows a slowly growing patch of red.

"Well I think we can all agree that Poe Dameron brings out the worst in us all then." He's sliding of the table, pulling the knife from where it was still embedded in its surface. "But lets move on."

Finn doesn't need to be fully attentive to see the light bulb that appears above The Head.

"Why don't we play a _game_." The Head spins on his heel and it two strides he's kneeling in front of Finn. "I feel that games always lighten the mood and I can tell we're all feeling blue at the moment so why not. 'But which one?' I hear you ask." He leans back on his heels and purses his lips in mock concentration, tossing the knife between his hands.

Finn wonders if his restrains will prevent him from head butting the man in front of him.

The Head's eyes widen. "I've got it." He straightens and raises the hand bearing the knife. 

Finn tenses, preparing for the worst but instead The Head throws the weapon over his shoulder in a careless manner. It travels through the air towards the other side of the room where the guard with the busted nose catches the hilt with ease- his expression remains unimpressed, as if this kind of recklessness is commonplace. 

The Head is speaking again before the knife lands. "Let's play, What Bone Am I Breaking."

Before Finn knows what's happening, The Head has his hand on Finn's knee, gripping the bones there, hard. Finn hisses.

"It's quite self explanatory really, but despite its simplicity," his grip doesn't let up as he rambles and the pull at the skin moves the placement of the knife above it. "It can be pretty fun." His gaze moves from Finn and he smiles fondly. "Me and Ren used to play it alot." He tilts his head and leans to the side slightly to look at Ben. "It's fun, isn't it Ren?"

Ben just groans from where his chin is resting against his chest again.

The Head makes a dissatisfied face and returns his attention to Finn. "On second thought, ignore him." He inhales before continuing. "So the rules are: I break one of your bones, and you tell me it's name." He shrugs. "Simple, right? But there's a catch. If you get it wrong, I break two more, then three more, then four more," he waves a hand. "you get the general idea. And if you get it right-" The Head pauses, mouth ajar, as he try's to gather words. "Actually... I usually just break more regardless but that's beside the point." The grip at Finns knee tightens and he knows it's causing some damage. "So, _General,_ " Finn suppresses a groan. "How well do you know the human anatomy."

Finn does groan then and he presses his back against his chair, trying to move his attention away from the growing pain.

"Well?"

Finn hadn't realised The Head's question wasn't rhetorical- thought it to be just another threat. The hand squeezes and Finn answers through gritted teeth. "Not very well."

The Head groans in frustration as he stands and Finn sighs in relief as the hand leaves his knee, the pressure gone and the knife returned to a bearable position. "Well it's gonna be a shit game if your not smart enough to play-" he holds his hand to the side and suddenly he has the knife again. Finn can't help but admire the synchronisation between these people. He waves the blade in Ben's direction. "And I can exactly get him to play, he's half broken already." The Head sighs as he crosses the room and leans against the workbench. He's silent for a minute as he twists the tip of the blade into the surface. "I wonder if the girl knows her stuff."

That gets Ben's attention.

"You harm her and I'll kill you." Finn can hear the blood in his mouth through his exhausted words and yet the threat still manages to land.

The Head rolls his eyes anyway, pointing his knife at Ben. "You volunteering to play Ren? Because I gotta say, I don't think you'd last very long, what with you already being rather on the broken side of the spectrum."

Finn notices something over the next five seconds. The change is small and he doubts he would have noticed had his head not been centimetres away from Ben's but it's definitely there.

Ben's breath hitches momentarily and his shoulders are suddenly straightening as he raises his head from his chest. His newfound energy makes Finn wonder if this is Rey's doing. But it's the exhale that really tells Finn something's going on as it trails off into something completely different.

Finn knows this can't be right but it sounds like Ben's laughing.

" _Broken_." He chuckles darkly. "You don't know what _broken_ looks like- you've never known. To see something broken, you must first know how to _break_ , and to _break_ there must be a breaking point- and unluckily for you," his laughing halts momentarily and he speaks in a sing-song voice that ends in a cough. " _I know yours_."

Finn watches The Head shift on his feet, and through his sadistic demeanour, he can see genuine intrigue seep through. "And what might that be?"

Ben shrugs which makes Finn wonder if he'd found a way to bypass pain. "You tell me,-"

Finn senses that Ben's next words would hold a great deal of weight but it's no comparison to what actually happens.

"- _Xolen_."

The Head's expression of casual interest turns to bloody murder like the flicking of a switch, and then he's whirling on Ben- knife bared.

"How do you know that name." One hand is fisted in the hair at the back of Ben's head and the other presses a knife to his throat. "How do you know!"

As painful as it sounds, Ben continues to laugh.

Finn wants to tell him to stop, to quiet before things get bad, because the look on The Head's face suggested just that.

The Head hisses in annoyance and kicks Ben's chair. "Take the General back to his cell." 

The guard who'd been stood stoically at the end of the room makes for the door and pushes it open. Two others enter and while one of them moves to remove Finn's cuffs, the other pulls the knife from his leg, and tosses it onto the floor.

When The Head next speaks, Finn recognises the voice as something that has perfected ensuing fear. "I need to have a talk with Ren."

In that moment of pain they drag him upright and lead him from the room, Finn's bad leg struggles to find purchase on the floor and he stumbles before he finds his footing but manages to cast a glance over his shoulder.

Ben is in exactly the same position he was in when Finn first entered the room: slouched over, head hanging between his shoulders and blood dripping from his mouth. Except this time, his grinning hard enough to show all of his blood stained teeth. 

Finn is led out the room and by the second turn of a corner, he swears he can hear Ben screaming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like a nasty human being. 
> 
> (*loud nervous laughter*) EVERYONE IS DOING FINE.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we're switching it up a little with chapter from The Head's POV so that's why Ben is referred to as Ren in this one. As you may assume, it's nasty. Non deserving of a smiley face.
> 
> >:(

_Xolen._

The Head hadn't heard that name spoken from another's lips in what must be over twenty years now. He'd done everything he could to burry that name. Burry the past he'd left behind- and the other life that came attached to it. And he thought he had: he hadn't heard a whisper of that name in so long and he was happy to let it die. Because it had to die. He was The Head and only The Head. His original desire had been achieved early on with his new name- his only name: people feared him and he was _feared_. His title alone was enough to make any man shudder- rumour and stories of his truly dreadful acts could be found on any and every dreadnaught, battle cruiser and ground base- you name it, he was there. The power his title held allowed him to be everywhere with without the need to move. Power in its truest form. He was a god and the reach of his hand was unending.

And here Ren was, spitting the one word that could bring his power to naught right in his face. A word that gave him humanity. A word that made him _human_.

And it _really_ killed the mood.

"Tell me how you know!" He'd been raining hits on Ren's face for a while now and it somehow made the man laugh more. There was blood everywhere by now and it painted everything red: the floor around them, the man's shirt, The Head's hands. The Head thinks that he may later be annoyed at his anger for preventing him from seeing the beauty in the scene- the blood of this man at his mercy always managed to make things prettier.

His knuckles found Ren's brow again and the force behind the blow sent his head backward, his laughter relented through the impact.

The Head wasn't hitting him to get an answer, he knew he'd get it eventually, but only when Ren felt like snapping out if his fit. Though he'd never actively interrogated Ren, he'd known him for a long time and tortured him for enough of it to know that if you wanted to get to him- _truly_ get to him- pain was not the way to do it. Despite his best efforts, The Head never found a way to successfully break the man and if not for Snoke, he would of believed that a feat of such magnitude as breaking Kylo Ren would be impossible.

But then one day, he found that something had changed. 

Snoke had got to Ren: twisted him so far that something in him broke and remained broken. Something that he had been to blind to see. Something that after the Supreme Leader died, The Head couldn't find it in him to come to terms with the fact that he would never know.

The one thing that his power couldn't get him, the one thing that was out of reach, was the one thing he wanted most. The premise ate at him indefinitely and he found that he'd never been so envious of Snoke and his hand that reached further than his own, his power that dug deeper and allowed him the ability to invade the minds of others- specifically the mind of Ren. Snoke died knowing what really made Ren tick as The Head was pushed to flee, knowing that it was something he would never figure out.

And then out of the blue, on some desolate planet that he'd run to after Ren named himself the new Supreme Leader, news reached him. 

News that Ben Solo had returned.

Not 'Snoke's Apprentice', not 'Supreme Leader' and not 'Kylo Ren'.

Ben Solo- born anew, in the flesh. 

_Unbroken_.

And then there it was. One last opportunity to see what makes the seemingly unbreakable break. He had been gifted another chance to find what Snoke had and he hadn't- the breaking point of Ben Solo.

It just so happened, that he had found his first.

He hits Ren again. "How!"

Ren finally swallows like he's about to speak and The Head grabs the front of his collar, pulling him forward in a way that must be ripping tendons in that bad shoulder of his.

"I was Supreme Leader you ass." Ren chuckles through the blood. "I know _everything_."

The Head seethes and he wants to hit him again- wants to knock his bloodied teeth from his mouth- but it won't do justice to the amount of pain he wants the man to feel. 

He drops his grip on Ren's collar, pushing him against the chair's back with enough force that it rocks back on its legs. The Head storms over to the table at the room's edge where his eyes start scanning for what he's looking for. His hands had started to push aside various pain-inducing instruments, his hands even hover over Ren and the girl's lightsabers, when his gaze finally finds what he sought. The blowtorch feels weightless in his vice-like grip as he closes the distance between him and Ren again. 

Ren is still laughing when The Head rips the material of his shirt to expose more flesh- to expand his canvas. He notes the bruising already there and the broken ribs that must lay beneath the surface- he doesn't ignore the thoughts telling him that the colours on his skin look magnificent.

"Now that looks painful. Wonder how that happened." The words are void of emotion as he ignites the blowtorch, sending compressed flame against the bruise highest in his chest.

Ren's hysterics cease as he screams, head back and fists clenched as his boots scrape against the floor, struggling to find purchase on the blood slick floor.

A wave of familiarity passes over The Head as he withdraws the flame before repositioning it lower on Ren's chest. If he closed his eyes, he could picture a scene some years ago, before Ren decided he liked the idea of being Supreme Leader, where he had being doing just this- listening to Ren scream after Snoke had called on him to conduct a particularly pain filled session with his disobedient Apprentice. They hadn't had a session in quite some time so The Head was more than happy to make it last. When he was done he had to call on troopers to drag the lifeless Ren from the room. He wondered if it would be the same this time.

Ren's screams subside as he withdraws the flame again. 

"You still think it's funny?"

Ren is breathless when he answers. "I think it's hilarious." 

The Head shows no reaction other than bring the torch back to Ren's flesh.

In the far reaches of his mind, some part of The Head was happy that Ren had regained his lose-lipped quips and sass. It was something that Snoke burned out of him- the erge to backchat that often made The Head'a session more interesting wasn't smiled upon by the Supreme Leader at the time of Kylo Ren's training.

Then the flame was gone again and The Head waited for a laugh, a chuckle, for anything that gave him reason enough to reignite the torch. 

The only sound in the room was Ren drawing in shaky breaths through his shredded throat. 

"And how about now?"

Ren was silent and for a second, The Head thought that maybe he couldn't find the words through pain. But then he spoke, his voice slurring.

"Does it really matter that much? A name?" His exposed neck bobbed as the hoarse words left his mouth. "You know it's not that bad. It could be worse, you could be called Jabba or Jar Jar-"

The Head had already moved behind Ren, to where his head was still hung over the back of the chair. He grabbed at Ren's hair with one hand and with the other he levelled the disengaged torch over his bruised right eye. "What do you think?" His thumb lingered on the activation button. "I'm sure your girlfriend has good things to say about your eyes, Ren. It'd be a shame if you lost one."

Ren had the common sense to keep his mouth shut but his gaze remained steady. 

The Head had tried on several occasions to level the man with a glare that amounted to the one he gave. The intensity of those eyes was never something he could replicate. He returned a glare all the same before he dropped the hold he had on Ren's head and walked all of two steps towards the table before throwing the blowtorch against the back wall. It fell against the surface with a clatter of knives.  
He turned back to Ren who was beginning to raise his head- even that small action looked strenuous and his body was stiff as he tried to keep it as still as possible as to better his battered chest: the pull on his shoulder and the knife that remained in his leg looked to be an afterthought in comparison to the mess that was his torso. 

Ren met his eyes from across the room. His voice sounded tired when he spoke but The Head knew defeat was still a long, _long_ , way off.

"What is it you want?"

The Head stepped closer. "Something only you can give me."

Ren shook his head- it looked like it hurt. "I've never given you anything and I'm not starting now."

"I'm growing tired of your voice Ren. You best shut your mouth or I'll see to it that you're all dead by night fall." He says it in a manner that would be more fitting over dinner, rather than whatever this was. "Though your already dying so I don't see you lasting that long." 

He crouches in front of Ren and presses his fist to his side, pushing his knuckles into the black there- the body beneath his hand tenses at the pressure. "But then that's all you've ever been Ren-" he pushes harder. "A dead man preaching empty threats."

There's blood coming from Ren's mouth angain and he winces as he tries to form words. "They were never empty."

The Head looks manic and he spits his next words. "Neither were mine." And then he's driving his fist into Ren's stomach and the blood pours from his mouth. He passes out on impact.

The Head wipes Ren's blood from his face and then on the man's torn shirt. He looks to the door and the guard stationed there. 

"Go get the girl."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel NASTY. This guy is mean, but he's fun to write.
> 
> Can't imagine you enjoyed the pain but thanks for reading anyway!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hEre yOu gO

Rey didn't know how long it had been since The Head had come for Finn and Ben- or rather _her_ and Ben, but Finn's selflessness once again got him into a bad situation. She didn't think The Head was the kind of person to do something like this for political gain so the fact that Finn was a General probably wouldn't do much in his favour other than give their captor one more thing to play with.

She'd tried pacing to fill the time but she found that the nauseous feeling Ben had mentioned was becoming more apparent each time she turned so she returned to her spot against the wall.

She wrapped the jacket Finn had leant to Ben tighter around her shoulders and tried not to look at the blood that still stained the corner of the cell. She found that she could just about avoid looking at it but the metallic smell it left in the air made completely blocking it out very hard.

She had a hunch The Head wouldn't kill Ben but the knowledge she'd gained of his reputation lead her to believe that perhaps, for some, death may be the better alternative. She'd tried to reach him through the bond- an alarming jab of pain every now and then suggested that The Head didn't care for Ben's well being in his current state of injury. Despite the clearing fog of their dyad, Rey didn't want the knowledge of Ben's discomfort that came with his pain. At one point, Rey swore she could see him: it was only for a second, barely a flicker in the poorly lit room, but suddenly he was there- hunched in a seat, hands behind him, and she didn't have enough time to fully take it in but she was sure there was more blood. She hated that that didn't surprise her.

That small scene that the bond graced her with was enough for her to panic, and in her panic she did the only thing she could: she didn't know how she'd done it before but she had given Ben her energy all those hours ago, so she tried with everything she had to do it again. And her energy must of gone somewhere because she spent the next few minutes trying not to pass out.

She was considering pacing again when Finn was brought back.

The jacket fell from her shoulders as she rose to her feet launching herself at the bars. "Finn!"

Two guards accompanied him as he limped towards his cell. One of them uncuffed him as the other unlocked the cell door. The sound of the door closing again behind Finn was loud in the quiet of the room that Rey had finally become accustomed to.

The blood that he trailed behind in his wake didn't slip past Rey's attention and Finn had pressed both his hands to a nasty looking wound at his thigh the second his hands were free. Rey waited until both the guards were gone before speaking again.

"What did he do?" Her words were rushed and a full of worry.

Finn pressed harder when blood seeped through his fingers, he winced. "He threw a knife at me. The blade was small but it still hurt."

"Yeah I don't doubt that." Her shaking hands moved to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "You think you'll be okay?" 

Finn removed his hands for a moment and found that the bleeding had slowed. "I don't think it's as bad as I thought it was so yeah, I think I'm good."

Rey bit her lip, not really wanting a truthful answer to her next question. "And Ben?"

Finn levelled her with a gaze and the look in his eyes was all the answer she needed. 

"He's alive." He offered.

 _Alive_. 

Not 'okay', not 'fine', just simply- not dead. She didn't find that very reassuring.

She nodded in a machine-like manner, and tried to move the subject away from Ben and back to their captor. "Did he ask you anything?"

Finn could see her eagerness to move the conversation away from Ben- he'd always been good at reading the room. "Not really. I didn't tell him anything if that's what you mean." He rubbed a red hand on his shirt before wiping sweat from his brow. "He just kind of threw jabs and touchy subjects, but-" he stopped himself, remembering Rey's want to direct the subject away from Ben.

Rey looked solemn. "But _what_ , Finn."

Finn shook his head. "Rey, Ben-"

And then he door was opening again and somehow Rey knew they weren't here to return Ben, or come back for Finn- so it didn't shock her when the guard with the blaster went straight to her end cell.

She could see Finn struggling to get to his feet as he shouted protests as her door was opened. She didn't resist when cuffs were clamped on her wrists.

"Lets go, girl." He motioned with his weapon for her to exit so she left her cell.

She imaged it would feel good to finally leave that space but being on the other side of those bars filled her with dread she couldn't amount to.

There was blood at different stages of drying all over the polished floor and the walk there was long when it should of felt short but her mind went blank when she entered the new room and her eyes focused on Ben.

She wasn't thinking as she elbowed the guard behind her ran for him. Didn't even hear The Head as he waved a hand to the same guard. 

"Leave her." He pulled up a chair and set it a way off, opposite Ben. "This is interesting."

Rey's knees cracked as they hit the floor between Ben's parted legs and she took in the sight of him. He was just as she had seen him in that flash across the bond, except she could see the blood now. She could feel it as it spread into the thin material of her leggings from where it had gathered in a pool at Ben's feet. 

She was uncaring of the fabric that was now probably stained beyond her repair because he was here. She could see him. Feel him beneath her cuffed hand that went straight to his cheek, the other trying to push the damp hair that had fallen around his face away so she could better see the damage done. 

" _Ben._ " She whispered, her voice breaking as she tried to rouse him. "Ben it's me, it's Rey." His shirt was torn and she could see fresh burns layered on the bruising. He remained unmoving so she rubbed her thumb against his jaw. " _Please_."

"What a touching display." Rey was reminded of The Head's presence as he drawled the words and suddenly all her emotion turned to anger. 

She called on the force to rip into his mind, despite knowing it wouldn't work, as she rose to her feet and started towards him.

From where he was leaning against a table, The Head lazily glanced at something behind her and the unmistakable sound of a blaster humming to life stopped her in her tracks.

"I'm sure you're aware that this shot won't be meant for you." Rey didn't need to turn around to know that the barrel was aimed at Ben's head. "Now, if you wouldn't mind-" The Head raised an open palm and a set of keys were thrown at him. He caught them effortlessly as he gestured to the chair opposite Ben's. "- take a seat."

Rey was hesitant but moved to sit when the sound of the safety clicking off echoed in the spacious room.

The Head followed her to the chair and uncuffed a wrist once she's seated. He smiles at her all the while and it takes everything in her to keep her hands from wrapping around his throat. She knows she wouldn't, not that now she can clearly see the the blaster trained on Ben, but the impulse is there all the same.

Once her hands are restrained behind her back, The Head moves to stand in the stretch of blood-flecked floor between her and Ben. He claps his hands together. "Well, now that the hellos are over, lets get to it." He turns to Rey and gives her an endearing look. "How are you?"

Rey can't help the baffled look that appears on her face and she almost asks him what the fuck are he's on about.

The Head seems to note her reaction and explains. "I only ask," Like an explanation will make her confusion disappear. "Because we've all had a very trying couple of days and, I gotta say, you look awful."

The insult doesn't affect her and she makes the decision to remain silent.

The Head doesn't wait long for her to reply. "Oh great, another silent type." He huffs. "You _people._ Look at me and Ren-" he points behind him and it's only now that Rey notices there's a knife sticking out of Ben's thigh. "We've had great conversations. Though on this occasion, " His gaze turns a little more to the steely side. "His chosen subject matter was of rather poor taste."

Rey watches as he drags a chair over from the wall and sits it adjacent to hers.

"Now I like you, _Rey_ -" her name on his lips makes her want to gag. "-and believe it or not, we have something in common." He lowers himself into the chair and crosses his arms in a casual motion. "We both tried our very best to break Kylo Ren."

Rey wants to shake her head then. Wants to tell him that she did nothing like that. Wants to tell him that Ben turned all on his own accord, she had only been there to aid him when things got too heavy. But her lips remain sealed as The Head rambles on.

"Of course I imagine your own methods involved a lot more _romancing_." He bats his eyes in a poor imitation of her. "Mine own methods involved a lot less of that, but hey-" he shrugs like he's innocent. "-apparently I like to flirt on the job." 

Rey wants to throw abuse at him then but it seems he never stops talking. 

"But we're veering off topic here." He waves his hand in a dismissive manner. "My point is, we both tried to make that man fold." He's pointing at Ben but he's looking at her. "And only one of us achieved that- and this is where it gets confusing so, bare with me-" he draws in a breath and pauses before continuing but when the words come, he says them like he's still unsure of the certainty behind them. "- but it was _you_ that came out on top."

Rey watches as he raises his hands in a baffled gesture.

"I spent the better part of a decade trying to break that man but in the end Snoke beat me to it. How he managed it, I have no idea but his secret died with him when Ren went power mad." He's fiddling with a knife that appeared out of nowhere as he talks. "That event healed him some, but not enough. His sanity was practically being held together by sticks and wire by the time I left and I would of bet my whole livelihood that he would've been dead within a month. And then _you_ return to the frey."

He's throws the knife at the word 'you' and it hits the table with a resounding thud. He turns his full attention to her.

"I'm sorry but it's just so _unbelievably_ baffling-"

Rey can feel anger breaking through The Head's laissez faire attitude.

"- because not only did you manage to break him, you managed to completely revert him back to his original state. You destroyed ten years of my hard work in just about one." He shakes his head at her. "What's with that?"

Rey ignores him entirely and instead breaks her silent streak as she spits. "What do you want?"

He exhales through his nose in a sign that makes Rey think he's used to not getting answers when he wants them. He swings back on his chair, eyes on the ceiling, as he ponders her question. "Oh, the usual, I guess: power, riches, galaxy-wide dominance."

Rey has a hunch that that's not it the case at all- even in the slightest. Power maybe, but she can't see this guy wanting to do anything other than cause pain.

"But right about now-" All chair legs are back on the floor now as he meets her eyes. He looks like he's about to say something but decides against it, then his expression changes to that of his usual ungodly resting mischief. "I want Ren to wake up."

The Head rises from his seat like it's a race to stand up and Rey knows that she would be doing the same if not for the durasteel around her wrists. She pulls on them so hard that from a second she thinks they might actually break.

"He's had enough, just leave him!" She thinks the skin at her wrists has split through how much she's pulling. 

The Head doesn't stop his advance and instead halts in front of Ben.

"You touch him and I'll end you." She seethes through her teeth and she knows it must of had some kind of affect as The Head turns to look at her, eyebrows raised.

"Touchy are we." He turns to speak to the unconscious Ben. "You have an interesting choice in girls Ren." He moves to stand to Ben's side, putting a hand on either side of his bad shoulder. "This ones practically feral."

Ben wakes with a hoarse cry as his shoulder is both dislocated and relocated over the span of three seconds. The sound is followed by a series of coughs and splutters that add more blood to the floor and if not for the vibrant red, to any onlooker it would look like the man had just been revived from drowning.

He takes far to long to recover and all the while Rey calls his name in an attempt to draw his attention away, but it looks like all his focus is on heaving in breath to his shattered chest.

Rey can see the whites of his eyes through the hair that obscures his vision as he struggles to go through the simple task of breathing.

He'd curled in on himself as much as the confines of the chair would allow and Rey doesn't know if it's because it's the least painful position or if he simply doesn't have the energy to hold himself upright. For lack of a better word, she hopes it's the former but judging by the taughtness of his shoulders, she's lead to believe it may be the latter.

She calls his name again but The Head steps in.

"Come on Ren," The Head crouches at Ben's side and harshly pats his knee. "Your girly's calling for you, so lets try be lucid for her." He flicks at the knife in Ben's thigh.

Rey can see how how winces, but it could be from any one of his injuries. Whatever it was, it managed to get Ben out of his haze and he makes looking up look painful.

In the back of her mind, Rey wonders if a pulse can cause pain but every thought she has leaves her when Ben's eyes lock with her's.

It starts as a double take that morphs into shock before it settles as reluctant acceptance and Rey wants to smile at him, tell him everything is going according to plan- but she can't. Because it's not. Even if she could muster the courage to lie to him, her voice didn't seem to be working in her favour. 

If pain were personified, it would take the form of Ben in that chair.

"There we go." The Head speaks with a grin from where he's rising from his crouch at Ben's side. "All present and correct." He folds his arms across his chest as he backs away from Ben's chair. "You pass out again and I'll give you something to make sure you stay conscious- and I f I recall correctly, the last time I had to do that you didn't react to it very well."

Rey didn't know if this was something that happened while she was in her cell or wether it was something from Ben's checkered past with this guy but either way, Rey doesn't miss the way Ben instinctively tries to blink the tiredness from his eyes.

Ben straightens slightly and the effort it takes looks tremendous. He meets her eyes again. "Rey-" he cuts himself off. He looks unsure as to what to say and his eyes glance around the room, maybe hoping to find something to finish his sentence with in one of the corners. He chews at his split lip with gritted teeth before he decides on just shaking his head at her, almost like he's apologising.

Rey wants to speak to him, and she's about to, but suddenly The Head is marching towards her and she stiffens in preparation for whatever he's about to do but he instead grabs for the chair beside her.

"Do tell me Ren because I am _intrigued_ -" he draws out the syllables in the word as he drags the chair into the space between her and Ben and sits. He glances at her and shrugs at Ben. "-why her?"

Rey's eyes follow his to Ben and it looks like he's on the verge of passing out again and she really hopes The Head is yet to realise. 

"What's with all the small talk?" She growls, hoping to draw attention to herself and it seems to do the job as The Head looks her way, face unimpressed.

"I don't believe I was talking to you girly." 

Rey keeps talking. "But I'm talking to you." Threats coming from her aren't usually things that falter but as The Head squints at her, his fingers drumming impatiently on his arm, she feels as though she might have lost some of her edge.

"Rey-" Ben tries in warning, more awake now, but The Head waves an arm in his direction.

"No no no, the lady wants to speak to me." He rises and starts towards her- this time there's no chair at her side for him to grab. 

The hairs at the back of her neck rise as he stalks closer. His pace is slow, almost predator-like as he nears her before stopping just inches from her chair. She has to look up to meet his gaze.

"Do you have something to contribute, girly?" He questioned, his voice unnaturally calm.

Rey swallows and glances behind him, to where Ben is trying desperately to meet her eyes, shaking his head. It's a warning if she'd ever seen one, but The Head is standing before her and he's expecting an answer.

She opens her mouth to speak but the words never make it from her mouth.

She hears the audible crack of the impact before she feels the sting on her cheek and her head reels to the side behind the force of The Head's backhand. She can taste blood and the burn across her cheekbone is reignited. She has to clench her eyes shut against the sensation. She thinks she can hear Ben but the ringing in her ears is drowning out his voice.

A hand grabs at her chin and her face is wrenched upright to face The Head who is leaning down at her, smile ever present. "Lets keep irrelevant thoughts to ourselves, shall we?"

Rey spits a mouthful of blood in his face and The Head stumbles back, laughing as he wipes it from his face.

" _Maker_ ," he chuckles flicking the liquid from his fingers, turning to Ben. "She's as bad as you were Ren. Before the big man broke your spirit."

"He didn't _break_ anything." Ben manages to make it sound like a hiss.

"Oh _really_?" The Head retorts, wiping his face on a rag from where he's now leaning against the table. "Because from where I was standing," he tosses the rag to the side and crosses his arms. "All the screaming and tears suggested otherwise."

Ben's gaze is on the floor as The Head turns to face Rey.

"Did you know he never begged?" The Head pushes off the table and leisurely makes his way over to Ben. "Not once. Never in the whole time I knew him." He's in front of Ben now, obscuring him form her sight. "You could've though." He continued. "I bet you wanted to. You could of begged for the pain to stop." he presses his hands to Ben's thighs. "Begged for Snoke to let you die." He leans in close and Rey imagines he can feel his repellent breath on his skin. "Begged for him to not make you kill your _daddy_."

.............

"Stop it!"

It's Rey that speaks up and The Head looks back over his should and sighs before returning his gaze to Ben. "She's a real spitfire, that one." His voice is quiet, only for Ben to hear. "I wonder..." his mouth is at his ear as he whispers, his tone low. "Does she beg _you_?"

Ben's next move hurts. But then again, _what doesn't_?

He head butts him so hard The Head is on his ass before he knows what hit him.

" _Fucking hell_!" He exclaims, trying- and failing- to stop the blood now running freely from his nose. "You need fucking circles around you two!" He's on his feet, tipping his head back against the flow. "You know the kind that says 'warning: do not _fucking_ cross'."

Ben notes that his expression is dark, and that's never been good.

It's hard to breathe through the pain in his chest and his shoulder ached something awful, but he can speak and he can see. Though in the next few minutes, he begins to curse his sight.

The Head turns and marches to the table and retrieves a particularly wicked looking knife. 

Ben's knows whatever's about to happen is going to hurt but what actually happens is somehow worse.

The Head turns away from Ben in favour of striding behind Rey, who yelps when her head is yanked backwards by a fist in her hair but goes silent when the knife is brought to her throat.

Ben goes rigid and his mind is the clearest it's been since he'd been here. He doesn't dare to breath through fear of The Head deciding the rise and fall of his chest is something that displeases him.

In the silence, The Head's bloodied grin is loud.

"Now I'm going to ask you something and I want you to think." He tells Ben, his grip on Rey is unyielding. "You can manage that right?"

"Yes." He surprises himself with how clear his words are.

The Head's grin goes impossibly wide.

"Then tell me, _Ben Solo_ ," he tugs at his hold on Rey's hair and she hisses. "If I were about to slit your Rey's throat-" the blade is pushed harder against Rey's neck and she winces as it nicks the skin there, a singular line of blood painting a trail on her skin. 

"-would you beg then."

Ben doesn't even need to think. "Yes."

The Head shrugs. "Well then," he draws the knife away from Rey momentarily to gesture to him before returning it to her neck. "By all means." The blade is pressed harder. "Beg for her life."

"Please."

"Again."

" _Please_." Pride be damned. Rey's life was on the line and little did The Head know, if he killed her he might as well be killing him too. Rey was his life. Without her... he may as well be dead already.

The Head's eyes are trained on him. "What would you do to spare her life?"

"Anything."

"What would you give?"

"Everything."

"Everything?"

" _Yes._ "

The Head is quiet and Ben looks away only to glance at Rey, at the tears on her cheeks, then he looks back to the man with the knife to her throat. 

The Head speaks and there's no grin on his face, no malice in his voice- just intrigue towards a question he didn't know the answer to.

"Would you die in her stead?"

"Ben-" Rey is silenced by the knifes sharp edge pressing harder.

Ben swallows. "Yes"

The Head nods to him. "Say it."

Whatever number Ben could conjure up would be an understatement to how many times he'd wanted to say this. In his darkest moments that spanned over years, through the torture, through the pain, through his all encompassing guilt, _this_ was the phrase he'd tried so hard to keep from passing his lips. But now that he allows those words to leave his mouth, it's not what he wants. Because now, through the torture, through the pain, through that all encompassing guilt... he'd finally found something to live for. A compromise better than death.

"Kill me."

The look in The Head's eyes can't possibly be surprise, but whatever it is, it's gone with a blink.

Then he's himself again. "We both know you can do better than that."

" _Please_ kill me." Ben's reply in instantaneous and his eyes lock with that of The Head. 

He applies emphasis to the three words that follow.

" _I beg you_."

Sickening satisfaction rolls of The Head, who lowers himself to Rey's level. "You hear that, girly?" He watches with attentive interest as that trail of blood runs down her exposed neck and spreads at the material at her collar. "He says he'd die for you."

Ben had done it before.

"I'd say you should keep him-" The Heads sighs as his eyes return to Ben. "-but I think I might kill him."

Rey attempts to conceal a sob.

His executioner rises then- knife finally off Rey's skin- and Ben expects him start in his direction, to see him smile that disgusting smile one last time before he feels the familiar bite of a blade followed by nothing. 

But that doesn't happen.

The Head is glued to the spot behind Rey's chair. His face a picturesque image of a man deep in thought. He looks to Ben, then to Rey, then back to Ben where his eyes remain. 

Ben thinks he might throw up when The Head's face returns to its natural state of mischief paired with a shrug. 

And then he's raising the knife again and bringing it to the left of Rey's throat in preparation to carve the blade through her neck and Ben's about to break-

An explosion from across the ship makes the room jerk and the knife drops from The Head's hand, bringing Rey's chair down with him as he falls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *pokes head out from under blanket*
> 
> "I'm evil and I'd like to apologise."
> 
> *returns to blankety tomb*
> 
> *muffled* "tHanKs fOr rEAdiNg"


	18. Chapter 18

"Shit shit shit!" Poe moves out from the cover of the wall he'd been taking refuge behind to fire two shots at these freaky masked guys. 

One of them goes down but the others return his fire and Poe pull back behind the corner, one of the shots almost catches his hand and he shakes the heat from his fingers as he looks to Rose: like him, she was shielding herself from the onslaught, her wall, having taken much more abuse, would soon loose its effectiveness as cover if they didn't sort this soon. 

"We might have to find a different route!" She shouts over the new assault that's sent their way. 

Poe shakes his head and lowers himself, preparing for another volley. "No, we blocked of all the other halls when we decided to start blowing shit up!"

They fire again and their combined attack takes three down but a group of four more turn into the corridor.

Poe curses. "Yeah, in hindsight, maybe that wasn't such a good idea."

"Oh you say that now-" Rose says when her blaster jams. She shoots him a quizzical look. "It was your idea!"

It was. 

Most of this was Poe's idea.

In theory, it should of been easy to get into a ship that had half of it's hull ripped open, and Poe had intended to get in that way, or at least he _had_ \- until his brain caught up with his impulsive attitude. Most of that marred edge was without power, which meant that even if they could get in that way, they'd still be faced with the conditions of empty space and The Falcon wasn't equipped to initiate a space-walk for one person, let alone two and a wookiee- let alone _five_ and a wookiee- so they'd need to find an active hanger with a working gravity field gate that was, preferably, unoccupied but close enough to their friends that they can get back on board with having to run a marathon.

They weren't asking for much.

The part of the _Supremacy_ that still seemed to be working was shown by the dim lights that spread over a sector at the centre of the ships right wing. Finn's tracking beacon didn't pinpoint his exact location, instead it pointed to a radius about half a mile wide, which had its downfalls but in this scenario, when looking at a ship that stretched well over thirty- it did a decent job of narrowing things down, and it came to no surprise that they appeared to be within that powered area.

It didn't take long for them to figure out that these guys definitely weren't expecting company. They had approached the wreck expecting to face at least a small fleet, but there were none. Nothing. Nada. Not a single ship came to meat and they ended up finding a hanger that matched every one of their requirements. 

The ease of their boarding was unsettling to say the least, and showed in each of them as they sat in the Falcon, fully ready for a sudden onrush of soldiers or for the floor to fall out beneath them- and again nothing showed. That first few minutes consisted of the three of them exchanging disbelieving looks that voiced what they didn't say through fear of jinxing it.

 _Is that it?_

It was strange: everything about their effortless landing screamed 'trap' but it seemed that- if only for once- something was on their side. That lead them to stage two.

After his breakdown with Chewie in the small cargo hold of the Falcon, Poe had returned to those crates and continued his search for something that went 'boom', with a much leveller head. And he was rewarded. 

At first, the explosives where supposed to be for the soul purpose of distracting whoever was on bord: they placed more than enough to draw attention in several rooms in the opposite direction as the one they intended to take, with the hope that their path would be relatively clear. And it had been... to begin with.

"Where's Chewie!" Rose shouted as they dodged another wave of fire.

Poe didn't know, so he was happy when there was a small explosion from behind him followed by an over confident wookiee barrelling around the corner.

"And, where have you been?" Poe demands over the noise of enemy fire.

The wookiee growls at him and holds out a belt of grenades. 

Poe searches for a retort but is lost for words. He nods, brows raised. "Well, alright then." 

Rose huffs a laugh and angles her head towards the direction of their attackers. "Would you give us a hand then?"

Chewie distributes a couple between the three of them before activating a timer on one of the ones that remain on the belt and tosses it down the corridor. The timer doesn't even get to zero before a misfire from an over eager masked guy hits one of the cores. The grenade explodes on impact and the others follow in tandem.

Poe is reminded then of how much people overemphasise the noise of an explosion: _it's all about the sound, if you can't feel your eardrums pulsating in your head- it a shitty excuse for an explosion_. And he gets it, he really does- but no one talks about the heat. Because, _holy hell_ its hot.

He shields his face with an arm but it does nothing against the wave of melting heat that is pushed their way as a compressed cloud of flame engulfs the end of the hall. He wouldn't be surprised if Chewie looked a little on the singed side when he manages to raise his head to look.

Once the floor stops shaking and he can no longer feel the unbearable heat on his face, Poe unwraps his hands from his head and chances a look down the hall. He expected a mess, but wasn't quite prepared to see it.

The reflective sheen on the walls has been matted by thick black and the one on the right has been completely blow through, showing a previously concealed room with several tables of flashing lights at its surface. The grating on the ceiling is bent down at an unnatural angle towards the floor, allowing the wires that it had been holding in place to tho hang, spitting sparks at the floor below. 

All there opponents are dead- that's clear enough: various bits of them are scattered about the place in a way that suggests a definite lack of life. That along with the blood that's managed to mix with the soot in a disgusting display that's plastered to every surrounding surface.

Poe cringes. "Okay, we're clear... but it's gross." 

They start down the hall, edging around stray limbs and something that has an uncanny resemblance to brain matter but Poe chooses not to think about it but can't conceal the gagging sound he makes when he hears it flatten beneath his boots. He swallows. "Not gonna throw up." He shakes his head as he steps over several fingers. "Not gonna do it. It's just not gonna happen." 

"I believe you." Rose says as she skirts around some entrails. 

Chewie growls. 

Once they pass the carnage, they set off at a run, blasters trained ahead. The others are behind him and he unknowingly continues to put distance between them as he picks up the pace, sprinting down the corridors as his thoughts take over.

Finn, Rey, Ben.

He was almost there. He almost has them back and when this is all over, because it is nearly over, he is never letting them leave his sight again. Like never. _Ever._

He skids to a halt when the corridor splits of in three directions and he nearly slips at the sudden stop in his momentum. "Uhhh..." his head jerks between the three, each one holding the same resemblance as the last. He hears two sets of footsteps go through the same abrupt halting method behind him and he stumbles slightly when Rose crashes into his back. 

Chewie makes a noise like he's about to ask Poe what he's doing but stops when he picks up on it himself.

"Not saying it's a good idea," Rose is trying to catch her breath. "But do you think we should split u-"

"Wait, look there's signs." Poe breaths through protesting lungs.

 _God we're out of shape_. 

He scans the names above each turn: 'Armoury', 'Reconditioning'- _there._

He points to the far right. "Cellblocks."

Then they're running again and Poe can feel his heart in his throat. 

They were almost there. This was almost over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can see the end of this fic now and I'm gonna be sad when it's over :(
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed a less panicked Poe!!


	19. Chapter 19

Rey's head aches from where her temple hit the floor but she'd take it over a slit throat any day.

She can still feel the ghost of the blade at her throat and the sting from the small cut it had left behind. It's nothing in comparison to what it could of been- _what it was about to be_.

Through the drying tears in her eyes she can still envision the look on Ben's face: the abject terror that flashed there as he beheld the scene before him, the broken acceptance of fate that had radiated from him as he asked- _as he begged_ \- for his death over hers. Even the thought of it is too much for her. 

She can still see the nausea, far from the effects of the drugs, in his face as she looks at him from the floor.

It had been too close. _Far_ too close- for the both of them.

She makes a mental note to commend Poe for his choices in timing.

She try's shifting against the floor to better the weight she's currently putting on her arm and finds that the chair shifts with her- but not all of it: the impact the fall put on it had jolted its back enough for it to become loose. She can work on loose.

She keeps her new knowledge to herself as behind her she can hear The Head trying to get his feet beneath him but a second explosion makes the task difficult.

"What the _hell_ is going on!" Rey doesn't know if it's a question but the guard at the door answers all the same.

"I... I don't know sir-" the stumble in the guard's voice is the only human thing that Rey's heard from him throughout this whole thing. His hand instinctively rests over the blaster at his side. "It appears we may be under attack."

The Head's footsteps sound behind her and he manages to keep his balance as the room trembles again. "Well get people to deal with it then! And go guard the General, I'm sure he's getting too excited by now." 

The guard follows the direction of The Head's authoritative, outstretched arm and bolts from the room.

The Head is in her sight now and he holds one hand over the other in attempt to put a stop to the blood seeping from between his fingers- the knife he'd been holding to Rey, having nicked him in his decent, now lays a little way off from her head.

The Head makes a hissing sound as he inspects the wound but the noise is drowned out by a third explosion that has him growling and retrieving several weapons from the table.

She thinks she sees Ben's lightsaber as he moves things about.

He turns to face them and fixes them both with a look that may of been threatening if not for the irritation that clouds his features. "There will be a short intermission while I go deal with this mess," he straps the blade Rey recognises from their first interaction across his back. "So don't get too comfortable."

Rey can hear him shouting orders as he leaves the room and it takes another explosion for her to stop hearing him completely. It's only then that she looks back to Ben but he speaks first.

" _Holy shit, Rey._ " It doesn't look like she's the only one still reeling from what just happened. 

"Uh huh." She agrees.

"Are you okay?" He says it like he thinks it a stupid question.

She thinks she might throw up but she nods and lets out a shaky "You?"

He nods in return, though Rey knows he'd do that anyway, regardless of how he was actually feeling. She doesn't think on it to long though- she needs out of this chair. Now.

"Ben, I think I can break this chair." She says to him as she presses her forehead the ground, trying to further dislodge the chair's back. 

He doesn't say anything in return but she hears a wince so she imagines he's trying, and failing, to put at his cuffs.

"Watch your shoulder." She says as she pulls at her seat. She eternally curses the drugs in her system that make her arms feel heavy.

"I'm aware." Ben doesn't filter the bite in his reply, and Rey can't blame him. She hears him pull once more before he stops with a jittery exhale.

Rey is having little success with her task and huffs in annoyance.

"Have you tried for the force?" He says around a mouthful of blood.

She can't believe she has to explain this to him. "Ben, even if the drugs-"

"I don't think they accounted for dyads."

Rey was already trying as he said it but it was still irresponsive. She presses her head harder to the floor. "I can't, it won't work."

The quiet in the room is filled with distant blaster fire as Ben speaks.

"Hold on one second." 

Rey doesn't understand what he's doing until she feels a tug at the bond. Her head starts upright. "Ben Solo, you better not be doing what I think you're doing."

His lack of reply is answer enough and the bond is pulled again.

"You don't have energy to give and the little that you do have should be reserved for staying alive!" She warns him but he doesn't seem to be stopping any time soon and she's starting to feel something.

She grunts in frustration at his stubbornness and reluctantly uses her borrowed strength to pull at the chair again. For a second she feels like it won't give but then something snaps and suddenly the chair is in two pieces.

Rey huffs a surprised laugh and looks to Ben with a genuine smile but it falls from her face when she takes in his heaving chest and lowered head, the dripping blood doesn't surprise her anymore. " _Shit._ " She swears as she manoeuvres her arms out of the confines of the broken chair before pulling her knees up to her chest so she can loop the cuffs under her to her front.

"No no no, wake up Ben." She try's as she pushes herself up off the floor. She stumbles on the way to his chair before kneeling at his feet, gently shaking his uninjured leg. "Come on, my love." She brushes hair from his face.

His eyelids flutter but don't open fully. "M'wake." He mumbles as she rubs little circles through the fabric at his knee.

"Try and keep your eyes open." She says and she tenses as there's another distant explosion.

"Keys, Rey." He manages.

"Right. _Keys._ " She's already on her feet and looking to the space where The Head had fallen earlier: he had keys, she remembers them being thrown at him- and yet they're not here. 

"Table." She hears from behind her.

" _Table_." She reiterates, spinning on her heel. 

How Ben was managing to think quicker than her in his state is beyond her.

This was the first time she'd seen the content of this table-top and its hard not to cringe and the array of blades and crude mechanisms. As her eyes scan the surface she discovers that she had been right earlier: both her and Ben's lightsabers sit amidst the arsenal and she clips both of them to her belt before she picks up her search again. Her frantic hands almost knock the ring to the floor but she catches them as they fall.

The metal loop must have at least twenty keys on it: each one almost identical to the last if not for the minor differences in the teeth.

She crosses the room to Ben an shows him the jangling ring. "You have any idea which one is for cuffs?"

Ben had leaned his head back over the chair, brow creased in a pained frown, and he attempts a shrug which ends badly as Rey crouches at the back of his chair. 

She try's the first key in the small lock at his wrist but it hardly makes it in, the teeth grating against the edges. She pulls it out and tries for the second one buts meets the same problem. As does the third. And the fourth.

The process is eating away at time they didn't have to begin with.

On her fifth try, the key gets stuck and she spends too much time trying to get it out.

It seems that Ben senses her worry mixed with impatience and his fingers graze her wrist.

"Leave it Rey." He mumbles through lips that won't cooperate. "Give them here, I'll do it."

Rey scoffs in panicked dismissal but Ben relents.

"Go get Finn, I'll get the cuffs."

Rey shakes her head despite knowing he can't see the gesture. "No Ben," she fumbles for the next key with her shaking hands. "Just... give me a second."

There's another explosion, its closer this time and she has to fight not to shield her ears. Several knives fall of the table at the end of the room in response to the shaking foundations.

"Rey, that guard was sent to him, if they decide they have to move him we might loose him." 

The next explosion makes her drop the keys.

" _Rey._ "

He's craned his neck to the best of his ability to fix her with a calming look and she knows the outcome of the conversation before it finishes.

"Go get Finn, I'll follow you." For a minute his gaze is unclouded and his eyes hold nothing but assurance. "I'll be fine."

Rey rounds the chair to kneel in front of him and shakes her head before taking his face in her hands. The room shakes around them but she finds she isn't capable of looking away from him. She knows her eyes are shining when she presses her lips to his. She can tell it's a struggle, but he returns the kiss and as Rey closes her eyes she wishes so profoundly that they were back home: surrounded by the grass, the trees, the sky. She wishes it was late in the morning and they were still wrapped in soft sheets, eyes clouded not by pain, but by the simple haze of waking. A haze that was often accompanied by lazy smiles and muffled pillow talk. 

She pulls away and she can still taste the coppery tang of blood from his lips as a tear escapes her blinking eyes despite her fight to keep it contained. She exhales and its shaky. "I don't believe you." 

Blood drips from the corner of his mouth as he smiles at her and she opens her mouth to say one last thing but decides again it. She knows he knows. His presses his forehead to hers. "I know, Rey."

She bites her lip to still its tremble and stands before she lets her emotions take over, pressing the keys into his open palm and clipping his sabre to his belt before she makes for the door. "I'll be right back." She insists, and she knows better than to look back at him. Knows that if she does she won't be able to leave him. So instead she marches through the door, eyes trained ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really liked writing this chapter, dialogue between Rey and Ben just comes so naturally because these babies love each other very much.
> 
> BUT REY HAS TO LEAVE HIM AND I WISH SHE'D STAY.


	20. Chapter 20

Finn would be pacing if it weren't for the guard that threatened to blow a hole through his ankles when he'd tried it the first time. 

How it was that Finn always ended up with this guy watching his every move is beyond him. He was like a bad smell- in that he never seemed to fucking leave. His face remained that same unreadable glare, but Finn could see through the maskless facade and was able to tell that, like himself, this guy was getting antsy.

The explosions hadn't been going on for long, barely minutes, but the sound of blaster fire was drawing ever nearer and Finn was relishing in the thought that, on this occasion, he was the one with the most knowledge here. Or at least he assumes he is: because these explosions are loud, they're starting, strong enough that they could sweep his feet from beneath him at any moment. It doesn't take him long to figure that these explosions feel like Poe.

His hand clasps around the ring at his neck as Finn realises he probably shouldn't be standing: after they'd taken Rey, the bleeding at his leg had begun to clot but now that he was up, and more or less about, he'd disturbed that healing process and he's beginning to feel nauseous. But there was simply no way he was sitting down when their rescue was underway.

There was another explosion that seemed much closer than the last and Finn had to rely on the wall to his left to catch him as the aftershock sent tremors through the floor beneath him.

The guard appeared to of lost some of his stoic edge and was reaching for his communicator when the blast hit, causing his grip to slacken on his beloved blaster he held so tightly to. With a curse, the weapon fell from his hand and slid across the polished floor- stopping right in front of Finn's cell.

There was a fleeting moment were the two just stared at each other and Finn could see panic ever so slowly ebb into the guy's face.

Finn smirked at him.

The two dove for the blaster at the same time and Finn found that it was worth the shot of pain that spiked down his leg and the ache in his side from the bars he'd crashed into, as he felt the familiar texture of the weapons grip against his palm.

The guard's fingers grazed his own as Finn drew his arm back through the bars, disbelieving how quickly this situation turned. The loser remained on his knees as Finn rose, arm outstretched, the blaster in his hand an extension to his body as he levels it between the guards eyes.

He swallows and Finn smiles- it's the pleasant kind. "I suggest you unlock this door." He lets the silent 'fuck you' creep into his words as he says them through upturned lips.

The guard looks like he's about to start throwing pointless words so Finn clicks off the safety, trying his best to make the sound as loud as possible. "You'll shut up-" Finn tosses the guards own words at his feet with pleasurable venom. "- _if you know what's good for you_." 

The guard bristles, visibly biting his tongue to stow his words as he rises to the cell's door. He keeps his eyes on Finn, on the finger wrapped around the trigger, as he brings the keys to the lock with the kind of precision that only comes from repeating a process over and over.

The door swings open and Finn gives a jerking motion with the blaster as the rumble of a distant explosion makes the bars shudder. "Now back up." 

The guard complies with a twitch, obviously not taking a liking to receiving orders from prisoners, and backs up until he's pressed against the bars of the cell opposite. 

Finn follows him out, trying to keep his posture from showing how much the pressure put on his wounded leg hurts. But he he's able to ignore the pain as, somehow, he'd managed to get himself on the other side of those bars- and _armed_. For a second, Finn considers shooting him- this guy was hardly one to fill in for the role of good samaritan: he'd threaten to shoot Finn on several occasions, shot at Rey at least twice- almost blowing her head off on one of those occasions- and he'd held Ben down to allow The Head breathing room to... do all _that._ Finn knows that shooting him would do nothing to his nonexistent reputation, but the thought of shooting a man that has no control over a situation doesn't sit right with him.

Instead he holds his hand out in an unspoken command and the guard eyes the open palm before reluctantly tossing the keys to Finn. 

The General nods in the direction of the now vacated cell. "Get in."

Confusion flashes across the guard's usually unreadable face- like the prospect of mercy is foreign to him. He looks to the cell before sending a glance, that's verging on disapproval, Finn's way. He takes one step in the direction of the open door before the next explosion makes itself known.

The floor jolts beneath their feet as a crack is blown it the back wall, sending a blast of scolding air that takes out the end light and forces both Finn and the guard to the ground.

Finn's hostage had now become his opponent as the guard takes this moment of disarray to try and pry the blaster from Finn's grasp. Blunt nails dig into his fingers and Finn has to fight to keep the weapon in his grip but his head is swimming, all this moving having fully reopened the wound at his leg and he can't see himself keeping up such a strong hold on the grip for much longer.

Finn uses too much of his strength to drive his elbow into the guard's already busted nose but despite the audible crack of the cartilage, the guards hands only let up slightly, so Finn does the only thing he can think of.

The blaster hits the entrance wall with a thud when Finn slides it across the floor and away from the skirmish.

The guard tries to lunge after it but Finn grabs ahold of his leg and pulls him back, driving his knee in to the man stomach.

The guard grunts as the air leaves his lungs and Finn tries to rise with the intention of pinning his opponent to the ground, and it looks like it's going to work- until the guard draws back a leg and lands a perfect kick to Finn's stab wound.

Finn's vision goes white and the next thing he knows, he flat on his back- eager hands wrapped around his throat. There's a small struggle as Finn grapples frantically at the man's wrists, clawing at exposed shin as the vice like grip around his neck tightens. 

Finn should of killed him. He knows he's realising too late but it the only thought that comes to mind as unyielding eyes stare down at him- the face hovering over him having returned to that emotionless mask and Finn can feel the guy's blood dripping on his face from above.

"You should of pulled that trigger when you had the chance." The fingers press harder and Finn _really_ can't breath now. "Now look at you-" 

Finn's legs begin to scrabble against the floor as empty lungs spasm in his heaving chest. 

"-you see what your mercy gets you."

His vision is tunnelling as his eyes roll back in his head.

"A death you're undeserving of."

Finn doesn't accept his death, but it's coming anyway when the sound of a single blaster firing echoes through every cell. Then there's a weight on his chest and a warmth that is not his own spreading through his shirt: slick and wet in a way that makes Finn think it's probably red.

" _Holy shit_ , Finn!"

He shouldn't be able to hear that voice: he should be focused wholly on the fact that he can breath again, the almost clinical air feeling glorious as it enters his lungs. But somehow that voice pierces through the sound of blood rushing to his head and white light that remained even after his airway wasn't being crushed.

The body that seemed to accompany the voice slides to his side and pushes the dead weigh, of what Finn had now pieced together as belonging to the guard, off of him.

"Oh fuck, you better be alive, because I _swear_ I'll definitely kill you if you aren't, and you know I mean it, so stop with the dead looking eyes, _please._ "

Finn tries to blink away the haze. 

"Poe?"

" _Oh thank fuck_." Poe's arms wrap around his him in an embrace that, had he not just been strangled, Finn would of referred to as crushing. 

He does his best to return the hug but his weight is resting on one arm but Poe hugs with the strength of two anyway, so he does most of the work. The embrace is broken so Poe can punch him on the shoulder. "Ow." 

" _You asshole-_ " he says, tears in his eyes.

 _Oh no, here we go_.

"You scared the shit out of me, getting kidnapped like that!" He's got his pointy finger out and is jabbing it at Finns chest. "And you didn't think to leave a fucking note or something, you know: 'sorry I'm not available-" Poe continues on but Finn can't get past the fact that he's here. He actually came. "-fucking _kidnapped,_ by freaky masked gu-"

Poe stops his rant only when Finn presses his lips to his. It's soft and it stings a little at the cut at his bottom lip, but it feels familiar in this unfamiliar place and Finn is grateful for that. That, and it shuts Poe up- at least for a moment.

"No." He mumbles against Finn's lips before pulling away. Pointy finger raised. "No, you don't get of the hook that easily! I mean look at you, you're a mess! And what is that, is that a stab wound- that's a fucking _stab wound,_ Finn! And what- wait," Poe stops himself looking into the cells around them, sudden worry overtaking his anger. "where are Rey and Ben?"

"Poe?"

Both their heads turn to the door- to where Rey now stands, bathed in the golden light of her sabre that highlights the jagged edges of the crude burn splitting the side of her face and ear. Her breathless panting can be heard from across the room but she looks otherwise unharmed.

"Rey!" Poe exclaims as he runs to her and she deactivates her sabre before returning the hug he throws at her. "Are you okay? We came as fast we could, Chewie and Rose are holding this part of the ship for us, but I don't know how long for. What happened to your face?" He asks as he draws back to check her for injury. "And where's Ben?"

That was Finn's question.

Rey shakes her head, ignoring the first part of the question. "He's still in the other room. I came to get Finn, but it looks like you beat me to it." She looks over Poe's shoulder to Finn, who's using the bars to drag himself to his feet when he meets her gaze- it's urgent, dire even. She draws in a breath. "We need to hurry- he's not doing too good."

Poe picks up on Rey's pressing attitude to leave and crosses the room to loop Finn's arm over his shoulders, talking as he does. "What's happened to you guys? What's wrong with Ben?"

"What's _not_ wrong with him." Finn's reply isn't a question and the response seems to worry Poe more.

Rey is shifting on her feet in the doorway, itching to get back to Ben as she checks both ways down the corridor as the two men behind her collectively take a step towards the door.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Poe splutters, stopping their advance and turning himself- and subsequently Finn- to the cell at the end far end cell, obviously having noticed it wasn't entirely empty. "What about the jacket."

Finn looks baffled. "I don't care about that right now, Poe. Lets go."

Poe looks slightly offended. "Hey, I gave you that jacket."

Rey doesn't know what to say, but she hopes her clear expression of 'What the fuck' speaks for her. "Really guys, you're doing _this-_ " she points between the the couple. "- _now_?"

She's ignored.

"Yes, and I liked it very much- but not enough to risk our lives wasting time for it- so let's go!"

"Why are you talking about it in past tense, Finn? It's still here!"

Rey makes an exaggerated gesture and looks to the ceiling, hoping to find solace there, before grabbing a set of keys from the downed guard's belt and marching to the end cell. She returns with Finn's jacket and the two only stop bickering when she throws it at them.

"If you're done, can we _please_ go get Ben now?" 

The two men simultaneously open their mouths as if to speak before turning to one another when no words come out. They nod.

"Yeah we can do that-"

"Yes lets go-"

Rey throws Finn the dead guard's blaster and none of them look back as the leave the room, and those bloodied cells, behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was SO happy writing the Finn and Poe reunion!
> 
> They just have to go get Ben now, who I'm sure will be totally fine. *starts twitching*
> 
> HOPE YOU ENJOYED:)
> 
> And nearly 100 kudos!!! AAAH


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sad boy hours, featuring, the one and only Ben Solo.

He almost dropped the keys. 

Twice.

Unlocking handcuffs when you can't see what you're doing is hard enough on a good day. This wasn't a good day. This was a bad day- a _very_ bad day. 

The gnawing sensation pulsating through his side tells him enough about his current internal state and he doesn't need to look at the skin now exposed by his torn shirt, to tell that the sight there is as black as the burns now decorating his chest.

Ben's numb fingers fumble with each frustratingly small key and he tries to clear his mind enough to remember where the lock on these cuffs is, despite him having located it for the past five non-corespondent keys. 

He'd lied to Rey: there was no way he could follow her. He could hardly get his fingers to respond and if he had feeling in his feet, he wasn't aware of it. To be honest, he had no idea what he was going to do next after he got these forsaken cuffs off his wrists. Rey said she'd come back for him, and he didn't doubt that- not for a second- but he was beginning to think he wouldn't have time to wait.

At the second to last try, a key finally matches with the lock.

Typical.

Ben might of laughed had he not known the motion would probably make him see stars. Second to last. Just one away from him finally submitting to fact that he truly had the worst luck. In spite of that, he almost wishes that it had been that last one instead. That one remaining key seemed like the universe telling him that he's one step away from that last bout of shitty luck.

The sound of the cuffs hitting the floor as they drop from his wrists would of echoed in the otherwise quiet room if not for the explosion that happens simultaneously, drowning out the clattering sound. The two pieces of the chair opposite him rattle against the smooth surface as the trembling of the room subsides.

Ben really doesn't want to stand up. At all. It's not like he's comfortable in this chair- because he's not: it's almost like he was hyper aware of every bone in his body, which unfortunately meant that he was also hyper aware of that fact that a lot of them were broken.

Submitting to his own unwillingness to stand, Ben instead moves his attention to his shoulder. His right arm hangs slack at his side in a way that makes him think it's still dislocated, but he distinctly remembers the feeling of it rolling back in to place after it was wrenched out of its socket that second time, so he knows that's not the case. 

Every movement hurts so he holds his breath as he uses his responsive arm to cautiously pull the other to his chest. His sleeve catches on the fresh burns there but he's out of options, so the arm remains there and his blackened flesh remains stinging.

That then brings him back to his original problem: standing.

With the exception of the knife still in his thigh, his legs seemed to of missed most of the torment, so Ben finds it reasonably alarming that he can hardly feel them. Even as he wraps his hand around the hilt of the blade and pulls it from the muscle with a short spout of blood, the only sensation that reaches him is surprise at how little blood exited the wound as the knife was removed. A short lived burst of anger courses through him and he throws the knife at that end table- it sticks in the panelling with a resounding thud that Ben can't here over his own grunt of pain that the outburst brought him, his good arm moves to wrap around his protesting ribs.

He reaches the initial conclusion that maybe standing isn't such a good idea, but he still needs to _move_.

Ben draws his slow to focus eyes over to the table at the rooms edge with the intention to see what lies atop it, but he instead picks up on the factor that anything more than three paces away is a mass of blur. When the fuzziness doesn't fade with blinking, he gives up trying to look.

If he knew The Head well- which he did- Ben would know that somewhere atop that table there's a collection of vials. He also would know that the vast majority of them are for the use of inducing pain or discomfort to him specifically. But he's also aware of the fact that some of them are meant for making sessions last longer.

Ben has never liked stimulants. He imagines it's because he's never been in a situation in which they were used on him willingly: there's probably permanent marks at his skin from the amount of times The Head had injected him with the adrenaline shot that did a fine job at keeping him conscious. Always in half doses that he gained no strength from it but they were potent enough that it kept him from passing out.

Ben reckons he could use some of that artificial strength right now.

He rolls his head to the side to look down at the floor. The distance from where he's sat to the ground isn't far, and he knows that, but everything in him is saying that it looks like an awfully long way to fall. But he's in no position to stand...

Ben hits the ground with a choked off groan as he rolls from the chair and he can practically hear his shoulder crunch as his right hand instinctively flys out in front of him to break his fall. He takes a minute to hiss into the floor as his ribcage is pressed against it, shifting the fragile bones there, but he knows his has to keep going- wether it's his mind or his body, one of the two will give up soon if he doesn't get to that table.

He leaves a trail of red as he drags himself to the end of the room. At the midway mark, he's almost certain he's going to pass out- the blood at his mouth is too much, and he can't breath through its thickness, but somehow he struggles through. It feels like he's fought on the loosing side of a battle by the time his fingers finally graze that end unit. 

Through some miracle, he's able to push himself to his knees and use his one working arm to pull himself up enough to look at what lays atop the surface.

As he'd suspected, set slightly to the side of a collection of pliers sits a metal tray loaded with all kinds of injectables and suppressant filled syringes.

He lowers himself again and slumps against the table, inhaling deeply- once, then twice- before he raises his arm and reaches for the tray. The cylindrical devices rattle with another explosion as his outstretched fingers graze the corner, wincing as he pushes himself to reach even further. " _Come on_." His gritted plea is barley a whisper in the room as his fingertips catch on the very edge and the metal is nudged slightly before he finds full purchase.

The tray falls, and he falls with it, sliding down the face of the unit as vials scatter in every direction. Ben didn't realise he was at fault until something snaps high on the left side of his chest. His vision flashes white as the rib settles in an unnatural position and stabs at flesh it should never of come in contact with. Harsh panting and choking breath fills the room as Ben tries to figure out how to breathe without moving his chest. It takes a minute for him to adjust to the new pain and the minute that follows that can only be described as pitiful.

His choking breaths turn to the shuddering kind and a low whine is drawn from him as he attempts the smallest movement. He clenches his eyes shut against the pain and he makes no effort to stop the tears escaping from behind his closed lids, blaming them on the agony and nothing else.

Everything _hurts._

It all hurts and he can't bring himself move.

An explosion shakes the room and distantly there's blaster fire drawing nearer, but all Ben can do is lay there, listing to his own pathetic hitching breath and think about how much he wants Rey here to hold his fucking hand.

Despite his unnaturally high tolerance for it, Ben had never been good with pain- it was just something that had been woven into the main foundations of his life and he'd learnt to deal with it. That was probably why he found it so surprising at how little pain is felt when living a normal life. He knows his understanding of 'normal' is a little off, but in comparison to what he'd lived through, it was a pretty normal life. 

A _good_ life.

Three years ago, if someone had told him that he'd even be able to use the words 'good' and 'life' together in the same sentence, he'd of searched their minds for the cause of the insanity that brought them to that conclusion. But that was what it was: Ben Solo had been living a good life. The kind that was free of the pain that he'd felt since he was a child, and it was such a _good_ feeling. He'd even begun to think that it might stay that way.

Thinking back on it now, he chastises himself for his naivety, because there was no way that would last. 

He didn't get nice things, and this was a testament to that.

Ben makes a fist at his side and draws in a shaky breath, managing to still the slight trembling of his bottom lip as he reopens his eyes. He ignores everything in him that tells him not to move and he manages to pull himself upright against the table at his back. Glancing through less watery vision, he collects every stimulant within reach with jittery hands and bites the cap off the first one before angling the flat end to the unmarried flesh at his thigh. He doesn't feel the pinch at his skin as he activates the device and a small needle penetrates the surface there.

The shot of adrenaline, that should work instantly, doesn't make itself known to Ben until he's repeated the process with a following three stims. He's well aware that you're not supposed to inject more that two but he's desperate. He's attempting to bite the cap off the fifth one when footsteps sound in the hallway: lazy and carefree. They halt in the doorway.

Ben closes his eyes, sighing deeply, so unbelievably _done_ with this whole thing- because he knows that this is that last key: that last spell of bad luck that pushes him over the edge into the realm of the very worst kind. 

A voice drawls from the doorway and Ben doesn't need to open his eyes to know who it belongs to.

"Well it looks like it's just you and me, Ren."

_For fuck's sake._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe he just wants to chat?
> 
> And holy shit, over 100 kudos. THANK YOU ALL, SO MUCH. For something that I didn't think would get over 10 (at a push), 100 is quite the milestone.
> 
> THANK YOU ALL FOR READING!!!!
> 
> :D


	22. Chapter 22

Poe still has Finn's blood on his hands from where he'd had to make a makeshift tourniquet out of his scarf to stop the bleeding at his leg.

The original plan had been to go straight to Ben- to get him then make for the Falcon so they could get the hell out of here- but it soon became apparent that Finn couldn't exactly keep up a fast pace. Poe had called ahead to Chewie to determine his and Rose's holding position and once determining that it was safe enough, they made the decision to drop Finn with them- leaving just himself and Rey to go get Ben.

Poe tries not to think about how hard it had been to leave Finn so soon after he'd got him back as he and Rey run through the corridors. Finn practically had to unwrap Poe's hand from his, telling him he'd still be here when he got back- but that hadn't made walking away form him any easier. Or rather _running away_ from him.

He and Rey hadn't stopped running since then and Poe was really starting to feel it as he struggles to take oxygen in, promising himself that he'd take up running again after this was over- and after the week or two of rest that should follow, because there was _no_ way any of them were going to _anything_ in the following weeks to come- Maz could be General for them for a while. _Hell_ , C-3PO could be General for them, Poe didn't care: so long as he and his friends got at least one week of rest after all this, he'd be a happy man.

The two stop in their tracks as an explosion from above catches them off guard. The blast pushes Rey into him and subsequently, him into the wall, as they try their best to shield themselves from the spray of sparks that follows. Poe is surprised he still has his eyebrows by the time the heat subsides and he helps Rey push herself to her feet. 

She offers him her hand in return once she's standing, having to shout over the flames roaring above them. "I thought you were the ones doing all this!" 

Poe takes her hand and pulls himself up. "Yeah I thought that too!" They're running again by the time he finishes his sentence. "I guess we must of nicked something important." There's another explosion in a hall to their left. "This whole place is coming down."

They've managed to get back to the spot they'd had to backtrack from when Rey speaks again.

"Did you see a maskless guy out here anywhere?"

Poe blinks a couple of times, trying to shuffle through his memory as they cover ground through the hallways.

"You'd remember him:" Rey continues. "Tall-ish, a little older than you," she glances behind them to check if anyones following. "Punchable face-"

The two jolt back as someone tries to take a swing at Rey from inside a room to their right but she slides under the blade aimed for her face effortlessly, igniting her lightsaber as she does, and deals a swing back at their attacker- severing feet from legs at the shins and dragging a burning line through the wall in the process. Poe fires a shot to the middle of the guy's mask as he falls. He doesn't make a sound as he hits the ground.

Rey returns to her feet, picking up the conversation where she left of. "-probably barking orders."

"Uh..." Poe watches as she sets off again, unaware of the fact that she'd left him behind. He's slightly awestruck at her ability to move from one thing to another so quickly and he takes one last glance at the dismembered body before he rushes to catch up with her. "No. No one stood out particularly. Why? Who's the guy?"

They both slow slightly before they pass the next room, both sharing a new unspoken anxiousness for any other ambushes ahead of them. One they deduce the room to be empty, they pick up the pace again and Rey continues.

"The name 'The Head' ring any bells for you?"

Poe frowns, disbelievingly- slightly taken aback. "What- The _Head_ Head?"

Rey's gives him a conformational side glance as they turn a corner, nearly tripping over a body that lies behind it.

His eyes widen. " _The_ Head? The discipline dude? The stormtrooper boogeyman? Mr I'm a masochist and I'm very open about it? _That_ guy?"

"All of the above?" Rey says with a little uncertainty as she nimbly leaps over some debris. "I don't know, I'm not sure. I hadn't heard of him until today- or... yesterday- I don't know, but he and Ben have a sort of twisted history and if he isn't out here..." Rey doesn't finish her sentence and instead picks up a little more speed.

 _Then he's probably with Ben_.

This new insight to the current situation gives Poe a different understanding of Rey's urgency. He'd noticed that a little while ago that Rey had stopped looking ahead as she recalls each turn and is now looking at the ground instead- at the trail of blood they seem to be following. 

Because _that's_ reassuring.

He didn't want to ask and knew she wouldn't want to answer, but at this point, he feels like he has to. 

He swallows through his panting. "What's wrong with Ben, Rey?"

Her avid pace halts slightly as she tries to conceal how the question makes her stumble. It takes her two tries before words leave her mouth. "He's-" 

Poe is patient as she tries to gather her words but when she starts talking she refrains for leaving out any details. He doesn't say anything when she finishes because he simply can't.

This is usually the point in a conversation like this where he'd stop in his tracks and try to wordlessly comprehend the simple questions of 'how' and 'fucking _why_ ', but by the sounds of it, they don't have time for that.

 _Ben_ doesn't have time for that.

There's an explosion not too far ahead of them and Poe catches the sudden overwhelming dread that radiates from Rey, hears her breath hitch in her throat, but more so, he sees the colour drain from her face.

A thought flashes through Poe's mind. It's only there for a second before it's gone, but it seems seems to linger like a bitter aftertaste. Because for a second, Poe wonders if he'd have the strength to pull Rey away from Ben if they get there and find he's already gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure he'll be fine though...
> 
> Next one is either gonna be really long, or I'm splitting it into two parts which could mean a double update? Maybe? Either way, it'll be a little longer until the next one but nothing too drastic so don't panic- or do, I mean, it's me writing so why wouldn't you panic.
> 
> HOPE YOU ENJOYED :)


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> annnnnnd we're back

Ben stares at The Head from his position against the table and The Head stares back from where he's leaning against the doorframe, arms folded across his chest in that casual manner. Through his pained haze, Ben notes that his clothes are blacker than usual and his face now sports a collection of small shrapnel wounds that suggests that he got more hands on than normal.

"I see you've stretched your legs." The Head says though a smirk as he regards the trail of smeared blood Ben had left after dragging himself across the room.

Ben doesn't try to reply. The stims haven't kicked in yet and he's too drained to make any snide remark or comment that would hold anything close to levity.

The Head raises an eyebrow when Ben doesn't respond. "Nothing from you?" He pushes away from the doorframe, dropping his arms to his sides. "Come on, _Ren._ Where's that can do attitude gone?"

Ben doesn't react as The Head moves into the room, his own limited focus is more interested in the last stim that still refuses to open.

"Your girl left you then." The Head says, nudging Rey's broken chair with a steel-tipped boot. He turns and surveys the vials scattered at the foot of the table. "Says a lot about her."

Ben huffs in frustration as the stim falls from his consistently shaking hands and his slowed reflexes barely manage to catch it as it rolls away.

"But then, everybody ends up leaving you, so what's new there."

Ben tries again to loosen the cap, but his side throbs in warning before there's blood in his mouth again. He drops the injectable in favour of wrapping his arm around his middle and clamping his jaw shut to better conceal his groan. He's not in control of the blood at his lips so it drips to the floor between his legs as he hunches forward, distantly aware of the sound of the stimulant rolling out of reach.

He hadn't noticed The Head going quiet, nor did he notice the way he was now observing Ben with a tilted head from where he stands across the room.

"You're quite the picture of pity, Ren."

Glancing at him through the hair hanging around his face, Ben catches a glimpse of the The Head. That usual, sick interest showing in his lingering eyes and loose stance as his gaze drags over Ben's hunched form.

He spits more blood onto the floor as The Head's interest moves from him to the stimulant that continues to roll further out of Ben's reach and towards him instead. The vial is stoped under a heavy boot and The Head leans to retrieve it, inspecting the blue text printed around its sides. "Never thought you'd pick up one of these without some very generous prompting first."

The Head tosses the injectable from one hand to the other as Ben attempts to straighten himself, ribs screaming in protest as his back meets the unit behind him again.

"In fact, I'm surprised you even touched one." The Head watches Ben as his hooded eyes move about the space around him, hoping that he'll find a stimulant that he'd missed the first time he'd looked. "But it looks like you're practically craving them now. How many have you taken?" The Head squints at the bloodied floor around him, gaze rolling over each stim Ben had already injected. 

He whistles lowly. "Looks like at least four to me." He toes a suppressant that had smashed upon hitting the floor, the broken glass making sharp clinking noises that make Ben's head hurt. "Now I know you Ren, you're not stupid." His attention is away from the broken vial at his feet and back on Ben. "I know, you know that three of these delightful things is enough to cause some difficulties-" he continues to toss the injectable from hand to hand and the repetitive motion is beginning to build on Ben's nausea. "- and yet, here you are, reaching for a fifth." The Head's right hand clamps around the vial and he pauses, squinting at Ben before he speaks again. "Are you trying to numb so kind of pain I'm unaware of?"

Ben doesn't appreciate The Head's poor attempt to hide mirth with sarcasm, so he looks him dead in the eyes as he spits another mouthful of blood to the side. He tries for a glare, but it's lost to a wince that throws him off.

The Head scoffs with a roll of his eyes and tosses the stim at Ben. It hits the ground and rolls the last few feet until it meets his knee.

Ben knows The Head's game, he'd been playing it for too long, so he knows this act has more meaning behind it than simple out of place generosity. He eyes the injectable warily, untrusting of the way The Head just smiles at him with a nod, encouraging him to pick it up. Ben stares at him, mistrust clear in every part of him.

The Head just continues to smile, looking over his shoulder as if to see where Ben's stare is aimed before looking back and speaking with mocking innocence. "What?"

Ben searches for his voice around the metallic taste in his mouth and responds through the shreds of his vocal cords. " _Why_?"

The Head shrugs, hands sliding into his pockets. "Do I need a reason?"

"Usually." Ben croaks. Disputes his mistrust, he did still need that small injectable and right now and it's practically being offered to him in a silver platter.

There's a small silence in which Ben contemplates not taking the stim: he could wait for the ones he'd already taken to kick in instead of abiding to whatever The Head's plan is. But if The Head decided to make a move for him, he wouldn't be able to stand without the help of that last dose. Ben knows he's not willing to take that chance so, begrudgingly, he rolls his hand off his lap and tries to fumble the cap off that last stim, but the journey it took across the room hadn't made the seal any looser. Ben doesn't struggle with it for long before The Head is stepping forward.

"Let me help you with that."

In all the time he'd spend with the man, Ben had never been able to remedy the way his body tenses in response to The Head's approach- what followed the determined pace of that man was never good, so naturally, Ben's deep rooted caution is pulled taught when he removes the blade strapped across his back and sets it to the side as he crouches down to his level.

Ben wonders if he'd have the strength to hold his lightsaber if he had to reach for it.

From this proximity, he can smell the smoke that resides in The Head's blackened clothing- it's strong enough that Ben thinks he should be able to taste it, if not for the blood and the smell of his own burnt flesh that remains with him.

He's reluctant to let The Head take the stimulant from his hand, but he wouldn't have the strength to keep him from taking it if he tried, so it's taken easily from his slack palm. 

He knows The Head is finding pleasure in his weakened state and Ben wants to strangle him when the guy hums in his direction, that tricky cap gone with one flick of a thumb.

His side throbs again and Ben lets out a few harsh breaths as his vision seems to blur. His eyes close against the sensation and he isn't in control when his head hits the unit behind him. He doesn't know what The Head is doing in the short pause that follows and he can't open his eyes enough to look.

Ben doesn't feel it when The Head presses a hand to his knee and uses the other to stab the needle into his thigh, but judging by The Head's silence, Ben gets the gist that, had he had feeling in his legs, the process would've hurt more that usual.

"There you go." The Head pats Ben's leg as he chucks the now empty stim over a shoulder. "Now you can't say I've never done anything for you."

Ben manages to force his eyes to stay open and watches from where his head leans back against the panelling, clenching his jaw through the wave of pain as the other man sighs, crossing his legs and leaning back on his hands.

"This place is going to blow soon. Shame really." He looks fondly around the room. "It's a lot more lively now that Snoke isn't around anymore." He turns his attention back to Ben, who's somehow feeling more tired with each passing second. "I never thanked you for that Ren-" He punches Ben on the shoulder in a gesture often shared between old friends. Ben thinks he should be thankful that it was his left instead of right, but he knows The Head didn't choose the left out of concern, and the fact that he chose the less painful side doesn't make the urge to flay the man any weaker. "-I wouldn't be able to do half the things I do now if the big man was still wandering the halls. So good shout- what with you killing him and all." He draws a knee up to his chest so he can rest an arm atop it, frowning in mock concern. "You doing okay there, Ren?" He tilts his head to the side again. "You're looking a little tired."

Ben _was_ tired. He didn't know what was happening: the stims were supposed to do the complete opposite of what they currently seemed to be doing and he has to bite his tongue to stay aware of his surroundings.

"Am I boring you?" The Head asked inquisitively before shrugging. "I'm probably boring you. Lets move on. I bet you're thinking on the reasoning." He says as he gestures to Ben's leg. To were a small beads of blood had formed at the entry points of each needle. "Overwhelmingly generous acts of kindness aren't exact my forte." The Head muses, eyes on the ceiling as the room shakes through another explosion. "But then again, I suppose you know me well enough by now to know that it wasn't actually a kindness."

Ben can't think properly through his clouded mind, but he's beginning to piece together that he's missed something. Something very important.

"As much as I defend that you are not stupid. It seems that in your current state," The Head's stare returns from the ceiling and Ben doesn't like the all-knowing look the man wears. "You have become slow."

That statement alarms Ben enough that he thinks his eyes would widen if they could. 

The Head reaches for something out of sight, but when it returns-

Ben can only watch as The Head examines a stimulant- the last stimulant. The one that Ben thought he'd just been injected with. There are still teeth marks in its reapplied cap from Ben trying to bite it open and the print on the side is scuffed from where it had rolled across the floor. It's the very same one- but it remains unused. 

"Catching up, are we?"

Ben is suddenly very aware of the fatigue growing behind his eyes and he pieces together that this is a fatigue unlike the kind drawn from pain or suppressants. 

" _Wha_ -" Ben swallows, trying to blink the rapidly approaching sleep from his eyes. " _What'd you._.."

"It appears I didn't account for the possibility of you having _friends,_ Ren." The Head rises, stretching his arms above his head. "Certainly not the kind that would risk their necks to actually attempt a rescue-"

Ben can hear his own breath slowing and he has to fight to keep his right arm held to his chest as his words slur. " _What'd you give me_ -."

"-but here we are." The Head ignores him, instead he pulls a satchel from somewhere and starts filling it with every vial, injectable and syringe that is still in tact. " _Ben Solo's_ friends have come to save him." He scoffs as he regards wether or not the suppressant in his hand is usable. He tosses it aside and looks scornfully at Ben, who can now hear blood rushing past his ears. "How far you've fallen, Ren. But seriously, you were pathetic before, but _now_ ," he pulls his blade toward him and the scraping sound it makes as it scratches against the floor makes him want to cringe. "This just adds insult to injury."

Every movement seems to slow and Ben's beginning to see double.

"It seems we're going to have to vacate the premises, due to increasing structural concerns. Looks like it's just going to be the two of us Ren." He turns to Ben as he fastens the bag shut, giving him a sickly sweet smile. "Just like old times."

It takes everything in Ben to keep his eyes from closing fully but his right hand falls from his chest as a result and his breath hitches as the muscles in his shoulder rearrange themselves.

"I wouldn't worry too much," The Head has risen by now and his eyes roll over the empty stimulants scattered about the floor. "Judging by the amount of these you've taken, the effects shouldn't last very long."

The hurt Ben feels as his body lists to the side doesn't compare to what he feels when his side connects with the floor. The breath is forced from his lungs and the pain is the only thing keeping him conscious as blood flows from his mouth.

"Long enough, though."

Ben fights the seditive the whole way, but his eyes are closing and there's noting he can do. His fading consciousness barely registers The Head moving towards his feet, and there's an explosion sounding from somewhere, but his awareness fades before hands move to drag him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Left you guys to stew for a little while there, but we're back to regular updates as we DRAW TOWARDS THE END??? I'm gonna be real sad when this is over.
> 
> Hope you enjoed the return to the pain!!!! As per usual, Ben is doing fine.
> 
> Stay tuned for the next update! I'll post it in the next hour or so!! :D


	24. Chapter 24

"Rey! Slow it down a little!"

She hears Poe calling from behind her but she's not listening. The room opposite the one they'd been gunning for might as well be a corridor now. A blast she'd heard but not seen had blown through both its front and back walls, exposing the hallway above, and through to the next room over. The panelling on the ceiling had been ripped away and exposed wires and circuits hang in tangled knots from the supporting beams.

Rey only spares the scene a fleeting glance as she leaps over a fallen wall support and sprints the last stretch until she's sliding into the doorframe of the other room. The impact is jarring, but it's not the reason her breath is knocked from her lungs.

Behind her, she can just about make out the laboured breaths of Poe as his pace slows from a sprint, to a jog and she hears him curse at the sight across the hall.

"Holy shit." His says under his breath, glancing around the wrecked room as he backs up to where Rey's still frozen in the threshold of the other. He turns and his gaze seems to follow hers before he registers the sight in front of them. The hitch in his breath announces when he sees what she's seeing and he speaks with breathless words. " _Holy shit._ " 

Rey agrees with him and she would say as much, but her mouth had gone dry.

There was blood everywhere.

It was at her feet, across the floor, it was even up against that table at the end of the room. She takes a step inside and it sticks to her shoes.

"Oh _Gods_." Poe continues to voice what she can't. "Is this-" he's seems to stumble on his words and Rey can't blame him. "Rey, is this all..." he trails off. That, or Rey just blocks out what she doesn't want to hear. The words are spinning in her head already.

It was Ben's- _all_ of it. And it was her fault. 

She had left him. 

This was on her- It was her call, she made it and she _left_ him. And now he was gone.

She tries to regulate her breathing as she reigns in her emotions and marches further into the room. The metallic smell in the air is almost enough to make her eyes water and the slick red coating the floor makes it hard for her to keep her feet, but she's keeps a steady pace as she clips her now deactivated sabre to her belt and takes in the scene.

He'd got out of the cuffs, at least. They lay abandoned the chair's feet and the ring of keys remains with the corespondent one still inside the lock. They're bloody, but then so was everything else. From there, her eyes follow the path of red to the back of the room. Her first thoughts go to why Ben would go further inside the room when the door was in the other direction- but then sees the mess at the foot of the table.

"Oh fu-." She doesn't finish the involuntary words as she rushes forward, slipping slightly on the blood as she grabs for one on many used injectables scattered about the floor.

"What is it?" Poe concerned voice says from where he still stand at the rooms entrance, trying to look at anything but the blood.

"Stimulants." Rey says as she rolls one in her hand. The blue labelling securing her theory. "I think he took stimulants."

Poe is trying to swallow a gag as his forces his gaze over to her. "How many?"

Rey throws the empty device at the wall as she rises. " _Too_ many." 

She runs her hands through the mess of her hair, trying half heartedly to regain some semblance of what it had been as she attempts to calm her racing thoughts.

Rey doesn't know if her sudden spike in panic is due to the fact Ben had just taken _four_ stimulants, or the fact that he felt he needed that many. 

She thinks she should feel angry. Angry at his reckless stubbornness but she can't seem to get past the worry that's eating away at her.

Poe walks into her line of sight and kneels to inspect the cuffs before reluctantly looking to the floor around him. His eyes roll around the room before they stick at the doorway. He standing again as he speaks. "Rey, this blood goes out the door."

That pulls her from her thoughts.

She turns her attention to the path of his gaze and her eyes zero in on the red outside the room.

It wasn't exactly breadcrumbs, but she wasn't about to complain.

She follows Poe out the room and their eyes travel down the hall, at the blood that's left throughout the length of it. Neither of them ask whether or not they're about to follow it- the two have already started down the corridor.

She's ahead of Poe when she turns the third corner but what lies behind it makes her stop in her tracks.

Ben is on the floor, motionless and unprotesting as The Head drags him down the hall. In no way is she thankful of the presence of that second man, but the fact that he's taking Ben with him quiets her screaming question of wether or not he was actually breathing. 

Poe has turned the corner by now and Rey thinks to the blaster he wields.

"Poe!"

The General still had his eyes on the bloodied trail so his head starts upright when she shouts for him, hands already griping his blaster tighter in anticipation of what he's about to focus on. His weapon is already at eye even when his eyes find the scene in front of him and Rey hears him curse when his gaze falls on the state of his friend, before it travels up to the man dragging him. Poe doesn't wait for his brain to take in the figure he sees before him as his finger squeezes the trigger and the bolt fires. 

It seems Poe wasn't the only one to look up at the sound of her shout and The Head is already ducking away from the General's direction of fire, subsequently dropping his hold on Ben as the shot flies.

The man dodges the would-be-fatal path of fire and the bolt grazes his arm in his heart's stead. He recoils and his hand flies to his newly brunt flesh but jolts back again when his palm meets the still hot edges of his now torn shirt.

Rey had taken this moment as a chance to catch the man of guard, so she's running towards him when there's an explosion from below. 

Had she been six feet further down the hall, the floor would of been blown from beneath her feet and if the blast didn't knock her back, she would of fallen into the flames of the room under them.

She manages to slow her sprint enough that she doesn't go over the edge but the abrupt halt makes her fall backwards, her feet barley come away unscathed from the second blast that erupts upwards, and she has the scramble back to get free of the crumbling floor beneath her.

"Ben!" She shouts over the roar of flames. Poe is at her back by now and he pulls her to her feet. 

Through the wall of flame, she can make out The Head grinning at her. "Sorry, girly!" He call down the hallway. "Me and your lover here are going away for a while," he's grabbed Ben's ankle again and continues dragging him away. "Doubt he'll be back in time for dinner, so I wouldn't wait up on him!"

Rey immediately starts hacking at the wall to their right in hope that the next room over would serve as a better path, and she's got through the first layer when Poe stops her.

"No no no! Rey, stop!" His arms wrap around her middle and pull her backwards, her sabre almost skimming a row of piping within the wall. 

"Get off me!" She warns Poe. Driving her elbow into his stomach and the heel of her foot into his shin. Poe grunts but his hold on her remains strong. She looks down the corridor again. "Ben!" Through the flames, she can make out The Head dragging Ben towards a corner. She tries to take another swing at the barrier blocking her from him but Poe pulls her back further.

"That's gas piping Rey." He speaks calmly at her ear. "You cut that and it's gonna blow, and we'll probably both die as a result."

" _Ben_!" She can only watch as he vanishes from her sight.

"We need to find another way around." Rey can't help but note that Poe says those words in his General voice. The voice that's accustomed to assuring people that everything is fine, even when it's not. It steady, and reassuring, and seems to calm her erratic breathing. She knows he's right. 

His grip slackens slightly as she stills, but he still keeps hold of her, untrusting of her self restraint. "We haven't lost him yet, Rey."

Rey can feel the tears threatening to spill but she bites her lip and forces them back, letting out a shaky breath as she nods, lowering her sabre but refusing to disengage it. 

Poe steps back from her as she gathers herself. She pushes the loose strands of hair from her face before she takes a deep breath and she squares her shoulders as she turns back to him, any trace of the tears that had been building is gone.

"No we haven't." She tightens her grip on her sabre as she takes her first step back down the hall. "And we're not going to."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there's the second half of the double update!!! 
> 
> Things are heating up- both in the literal and theoretical sense, I mean, the ships basically on fire at this point.
> 
> HAPPY DOUBLE UPDATE!! HOPE YOU ENJOYED :D


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OH SHIT, OH FUCK, ITS HAPPENING.

Ben is coming to when the stimulants finally kick in.

For a minute he thinks he's dead: his eyes are barely open and he thinks the ceiling burning high above him is moving, before he realises it him that's moving instead. He feels like he's sliding, body moving across the polished floor without him having to lift a finger. The surface feels cool against the stripe of exposed skin where his shirt had rucked up and it contrasts the warming heat drifting from somewhere to his left as a fire he had yet to registered burns. But, surprisingly, that's not what leads him to assumption. 

It's the pain. Or rather- the lack of it.

There's no ache that follows each breath. No stab behind his eyes at the brightness of the room. No gnawing pulses of his slowly decaying organs.

No pain.

_None._

He beginning to think that death _is_ the only feasible explanation but with the drawing of his next breath, he's entitled to change his mind.

Ben's eyes widen as something clicks deep within him and suddenly he struck with awareness of the fullest kind as adrenaline directs itself through his veins, spreading through every part of him. He isn't prepared for feeling everything all at once. 

That gentle warmth to his left turns to overwhelming heat and that cool surface beneath him turns to biting cold against his sweat slick skin. He draws in deep lungfuls of air and with each breath he becomes more aware of his own condition.

He didn't think that his injuries would disappear with the pain and it appears he was right. With each expansion of his chest, Ben can feel the tightness at its centre like a heavy weight atop him: where the bones on his right side seem to rattle with each intake of air, somewhere high on his left seems to crunch and crumble. With an abrupt constricting sensation at the side of his abdomen, Ben is reminded of his internal situation that puts all his other ailments to shame. 

His fists clench at where they lay on either side of his head and he tries to roll his ankles, however, due to the new advancements in the fact that he can now feel his legs, he suddenly very aware of someone dragging one of them.

He raises his head and the ease of the movement surprises him but it's overlooked by the sight he now perceives. He doesn't need to think as he raises his free leg and drives it into the hands dragging him.

"Oh for fu-" The Head bites out as he jerks back, wrapping his palm a round a his arm. Ben hadn't noticed the fresh wound there, but it seems it had taken most of the impact of his kick. The Head huffs in annoyance. "I really don't have time for your theatrics right now, Ren." He hisses as he withdraws his hand from the wound and glances at it before turning his attention back to Ben. "In case you hadn't noticed," he throws and arm out to the destruction around them. "I'm a little pushed for time!"

Ben is on his feet by now but he's standing on still unsteady legs as he risks a glance away from The Head to take in his surroundings.

The high ceiling and wides space of a hanger surrounds him: the air is thick with floating sparks and rising smoke that moves in accordance with each blast- the explosions themselves happening at regular intervals by now and each one seems to shake the ship more than the last. Most if the TIE ports are empty, save for the few that remain: Many of them are burning, along with most of the wall behind it- the fire having traveled with the drifting smoke- and others lay pieces thrown about the floor but the end few look reasonably in tact.

Ben feels that one of those had been his non disputable destination, had he not woken in time to decide he wanted an opinion on the matter.

Ben's eyes shoot back to The Head as the man pulls the blade from where it was sheathed at his back and disposes of the satchel hanging from a shoulder, dropping it as his feet and kicking it. It slides across the polished floor behind him.

Ben has to blink a few times before his brain catches up and he's pleasantly surprised when he reaches for his lightsaber and finds it still hanging from his belt. He almost smirks at the humming sound of its ignition.

"Ah, yes-" The Head notes as he addresses the blue light now illuminating the space between them. "-in hindsight, I probably should of taken that from you."

Ben rolls his wrist and the sabre hums in response, leaving blue trails as it's leisurely spun through the air.

The Head will play dirty, but that really won't surprise Ben.

His opponent won't even try to meet the glowing blue of his sabre with his blade: the humming energy he would meet would cut the blade clean through, so The Head will to hit what he can.

So theoretically, this should be easy.

Except he can't fucking concentrate.

In place of the pain filled haze he'd been feeling for who knows how long, everything in his mind is buzzing and ringing through the throws of his stim fuelled high and nothing in his vision will focus through his own crazed eyes.

He longs for an anchor, something he can bind himself to, something that'll ground him though the mess he'd made.

He realises it's not the first, and probably won't be the last time he'd found himself longing for Rey since he'd last seen her in the dim lights of that trembling room. It takes all of his focus to try for her through the bond but he gets no reply. He's instead met with the slow-to-repair emptiness they'd become accustomed to.

The lack of reply leaves him thinking to other alternatives but none of them speak to him as much as the one lying dormant in the back of his mind- the one he'd tried so hard to ignore is looking like his only option in his current time of need.

He has a strong feeling that the blood at his mouth is his body's way of telling him not to do what he's about to do.

Ben makes a fist and brings it down upon the mottled black at his side and the mist in his mind doesn't clear in time to tell him why he thinks there should be snow at his feet.

He can feel the pain that spreads like crackling energy with each strike as he channels methods he hadn't thought to use in such a long time.

If The Head wanted Kylo Ren, then for this instance only- he could have him.

..........

It doesn't take long for The Head to note the change in Ren's attitude and it quickly becomes clear that any moves he makes from this point onward will be futile. But he makes them all the same. He closes the distance between them and sweeps his blade out in front of him, forgetting that his opponent wields a weapon of considerably more power than his own. 

Ren blocks the blow effortlessly and the tip of The Head's weapon is severed as the spitting energy of the sabre melts through the blades circuitry, the sound of cracking energy joining the sound of their heavy breaths.

The Head doesn't know what to do: he can exactly block Ren's blows and he can't get pash the barrier of that glowing blue- so, really, there's nothing he can do.

As the uncomfortable feeling of panic starts to ebb through him and his mind is occupied with the effects of it, his imprecise and inelegant attacks finally make contact and as the damaged tip of his blade cuts into the flesh across Ren's knuckles, time seems to slow.

Ren's fingers are forced to release the grip he had on his weapon's hilt as he recoils and subsequently, his sabre falls from his hand.

It's in the air, and going down but Ren is quick, and his other hand is already reaching to catch it.

Time seems to stop slowing then and instead it freezes completely.

In that moment, in that _tiny_ split-second of time, Ren is unarmed. Completely and utterly defenceless before him.

He's left himself wide open and an opportunity is suddenly lain before The Head.

He doesn't hesitate to take it.

And drives the blade right into his opponent.

He can feel the peircing tear of flesh as the blade passes through the skin and muscle of Ren's abdomen. 

He doesn't know if the sharp intake of breath comes from the man he'd just impaled, or himself because in the thrill of the moment, The Head is overjoyed. A wave of relief rolls over him as he realises he'd just delivered the fatal blow. The one that's just won him the fight, and, by the way it looked to be going, subsequently, his life. But the emotion that follows isn't entirely pleasant, as he then realises that he's going to have to come to terms with the fact that he just broke his favourite toy. However, as the next few seconds roll out, The Head begins to see that that might not be the case.

He's looking into Rens eyes when he sees the change: something that just seconds before was nowhere to be seen and yet, like the flick of a switch, suddenly its there. Something deep behind the man's gaze is making itself known: something that had been lying in wait for a long time is waking up, and finding that it's unhappy with the one that roused it.

The Head would soon come to know this as the turning of the tide, the point of no return, the second in which he should realise there's no way he's coming out of this on top.

The moment in which he realises he's going to die today.

The quiet hissing of Ren's skin burning sounds in the space between them as he wraps his hands around the blade. Smoke rises from the man's burning palms and blood seeps from his side as he draws the blade further into himself, face unchanging despite the agony the action should bring. That foreboding glare never leaves The Head's eyes as he leans in closer, venomous words poised on his bloodied lips.

"What's next, _Xolen_?"

He doesn't know why it makes him flinch but he jolts all the same, that name seeming to hold more meaning now than it ever had.

The billowing smoke that swirls out between Rens fingers rises between them and it only makes the grin that's thrown at him seem more sinister. The change in the man's expression makes it clear he's about to make a move, but The Head can't seem to pull himself from that gaze.

His slackened hold on his weapon made it easy for Ren to wield it against his will, but he tries to keep ahold of it anyway. 

Rens grip on the blade gets impossibly tighter just before he drives the butt of the hilt into The Head's stomach.

He's heaving through breathless lungs by the time he's hit the floor but through the sound of his own gulping breaths, he hears Ren drawing the blade from himself. That wet, tearing sound sound that's often followed by a splatter of blood used to fill him with so much joy- so he's unknowing of why it makes him feel the opposite now.

Ren's hands are black where they aren't red as he drops the blade, tossing it to the side in a manner that suggests he's unfeeling of the way his skin is pulled away with it. He doesn't even spare a glance to the new gaping wound at his side as the blade falls.

The Head comes to the realisation that he's already lost before it hits the ground.

It was emotion that kept Ren from showing his true colours before: petty feelings like guilt or grief that pursued him in every waking hour and destroyed him in the rest. It was the Ben Solo in him that kept him weak. Held him back.

The Head can't recall ever experiencing fear. The genuine kind. The kind that welds you to the spot, locking bones into position as your own body betrays itself. So the sensation is new when it wraps around him. Rising from the depths of his mind- and its suffocating.

Because he blinks and suddenly his mind conjures that deep blue of the sabre in Ren's hands morphing to red. Suddenly that steady sanity gives way to savagery. 

Suddenly Ben Solo is gone.

And all that held Kylo Ren back goes with it.

"N-now now, Ren." The stuttering of his own words surprises him, but not as much as the way he's started to back up. Crawling away from the man who's started a slow pace towards him. "Lets uh... lets take this back a little-"

The Head continues his crawl backwards. He's putting distance between him and Ren but he knows the man could kill him at any time that better fits him if he wanted to. 

But instead, Ren is slow.

Everything about his pace and gait screams predator and smoke seems to follow him as he he drags his sabre along the ground beside him, carving a deep jagged line into the otherwise polished floor.

"H-how about we just-" his back meets a fallen beam and the contact startles him, but he doesn't dare take his eyes off Ren. "Lets just talk about this!"

Rens predatory glare remains trained on him as he wrenches his sabre from floor, never stopping his advance. He speaks and his voice is cold through the blood dripping freely from his mouth. "I have nothing to say to you."

The Head finds a space under the beam and slides under it, rolling out the other side, suddenly very thankful for the barrier it makes between him and Ren. Though that physical assurance doesn't last long.

The beam is split in two as Ren carves a path for himself, the metal steams and melts, hissing as it changes from one state to another before solidifying into warped glowing shapes that weld to one another.

The Head's brain manages to catch up with his fear and he gets his feet under him, rising as Ren draws ever closer.

He knows it's impossible with suppressants running in the man's veins, but the Head swears he can feel claws digging at his mind- scraping against the inside of his skull in an awful grating sensation that makes the hair at the back of his neck rise.

The Head stills. His body shaking with fearful tremors as he tries to think of a way, _any way_ , to get out of this. 

In the end, there's only one thing he can think of.

He takes one last look at the man in front of him before him turns on his heel and sprints towards the TIE. Thinking back on it, it seems he only had a tendency to run when Kylo Ren was on his tail.

He's grabbed the satchel and is half way there, and he thinks he's going to make it, when an explosion to his left knocks his feet from under him.

There's a moment in which he can't register anything other than the harsh one note tone ringing in his ears. He'd been running. Whether it was to or from something was yet to become clear but he feeling that the steady pace of heavy boots drawing nearer might have something to do with it.

It all comes back at once and he's scrambling to his feet. Before he knows what he's doing, he's throwing his arms out towards his opponent in an almost surrendering gesture he thought he'd never make. "No, Ren-" he continues his retreat, boots catching on shrapnel and the scattered medic content of the abandoned satchel. "Come on, what do you want I'll get you anything." His boot tangle in loose wires at his feet and he falls backwards, eyes never leaving Ren. "You name it, I'll get it. So what will it be?" He manages to drag himself to his feet but Ren had drawn closer in his disarray. Dangerously closer. 

"The throne? You want your throne back?" He tries, but he hasn't finished the words before Ren swings at him, the tip of the sabre catching high on his torso. The Head shrieks, hands flying to the wound and he continues backwards.

"Okay, not the throne! How about credits? I can get you credits. Yes, _lots_ of credits."

The strike that follows makes him stumble as the heat pierces his shoulder.

"Power, then!"

The next strike brings him to his knees as tendons are severed at his shin.

Ren uses one arm and grabs at his collar, hauling him to his feet. The Head grips at Rens wrist, trying to loosen the man's hold, but it isn't long before Ren speaks again and the words rip into him unlike and weapon ever could.

"You've no power to give."

The Head's breath hitches and he doesn't have time to think before Ren throws him back and suddenly he's on his ass again. Ren follows him as he scuttles backwards, dragging his useless leg along with him until his back meets the wing of a TIE. Those mere seconds in which he waits for Ren to close the distance between them are the most terrifying seconds of his life.

Ren stops at his feet. 

The Head has to look up to meet his eyes and the sight he finds there surpasses omnipotence. In a room shrouded in flame and ash, and in air thick with explosions and smoke, the look in Rens eyes is the only thing rattles him.

"By all means," the man's voice is smooth and steady. The inhuman lack of emotion seems to fit with every other part of him as he raises his sabre, the energy humming as it's levelled to The Heads throat. " _Beg for your life_."

The Head's throat bobs as he swallows and the sound is loud through his exposed neck, his chin upturned to keep the already intense heat from burning his skin. He has to work up the nerve to speak and he spits the word. " _Please_."

The heat of the weapon moves closer and Rens voice is still void of emotion as he speaks. "Again."

The Head has to press back against the TIE as his skin begins to burn. " _Fucking, please_!" He's clamped his eyes shut and for a second, he imagines that still advancing heat meeting his flesh and burning his head from his shoulders- but that heat is stationary.

The pause that follows might as well be unending so The Head can't believe what's happening when that heat is gone and the humming of Ren's sabre announces the weapons withdrawal.

The Head lets out a shaky breath he was fully aware of holding as he opens his eyes and looks to the man stood in front of him. 

The wall of flame at the wall behind the man wreaths Ren in consternating halo that somehow shrouds The Head in shadow as he's looked down upon. 

Ren has power over this situation now, so The Head feels that the imposing silence that follows was meant for him. 

His breath hitches as he speaks and he has to search for the right words "I-I knew you wouldn't do it." He struggles to hold the man's gaze. "There's to much light in you- you couldn't."

He swallows, squirming under Ren's watchful eyes but the man remains silent.

Until he isn't.

"Do not mistake my hesitation for mercy."

Suddenly Ren is right in front of him and his hand moves too fast for The Head to realise what's happening, but his confusion is gone when he feels several small stabbing sensations at his neck- three to be exact- and his hand flies to neck. It's already too late and his eyes are glazing over by the time he pulls the syringes into his vision.

" _You_ -" The word comes out as a wheeze as The Head feels the lethal dose of suppressant spread from his neck.

Two could kill a force user, three _would_ , but the content of just one for a human that can't wield the force...

Death. The cruelest kind.

" _You fu-_ " 

He makes a grab for Ren but the man doesn't even take a backward step. Probably knowing that The Head's hand would hardly make it off the ground before the suppressants would spread to his chest and his lungs will start to fill with blood.

"Ben!"

Ren doesn't acknowledge his friends that have burst into the hanger and are already running for him. He just watches the man dying at his feet.

The Head is choking as he falls to his side and all he can seen is Ren and his god-like halo of flame towering over him.

In his last moments, The Head is thankful that his mind conjures Ren falling to the ground as he's vision fades. His last thoughts go to regretting not killing Kylo Ren earlier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...
> 
> That happened.
> 
> THANKS FOR READING
> 
> :)


	26. Chapter 26

"Ben!"

Rey's running for him when he hits the ground- and he hits it hard. His knees bucking beneath him as he turns towards the sound of her voice with an unseeing stare.

She has to stop herself from crashing into his prone form as she drops to her knees beside him, uncaring of the way the scattered shrapnel bites at her shins. There's a split second in which she doesn't know what to do. Her shaking hands hovering over the bloodied mess that is Ben, trying to comprehend what the fuck happens now.

She's brought out of her trance as Poe slides to a stop beside her and she suddenly springs to action.

Her frantic hands go to Ben's bloodied face as she tries to rouse him. "Ben, wake up." Her words are clear, almost authoritative as she taps at the unmarried flesh of his cheek. " _Come on_ Ben, open your eyes."

There's no response from him and it takes most of her control to keep from automaton assuming the worst.

At her side, it seems Poe's managed to ignore his almost phobic dislike towards blood, in favour of moving aside a particularly red part of Ben's shirt, cursing heavily when he takes in the steady stream of blood escaping the gaping wound at Ben's abdomen. "We've got another problem Rey."

She's turning to him when he moves to put a stop to the bleeding, pushing his hands firmly to the bloodied sight.

The second Poe makes contact, Ben draws in a sharp breath, his previously closed eyes suddenly flash wide and he starts upright, clenched fist drawn back in preparation to fend off those around him.

"Woah! It's us!" Rey protests, leaning out of reach should Ben decide to take a swing. She reaches out to him, putting gentle pressure on his bicep in an attempt to lower his fist, but his eyes remain wild until they lock with hers. "It's Rey!"

His heaving breaths reach a peak before they slow and he blinks as if to clear his vision. An explosion fills the pregnant pause that follows and the tension isn't broken until he begins to lower his arm, fist unclenching and eyes softening as he speaks on an outward breath. "Rey."

She can't help but smile at her name on his lips. "Yeah," she nods at him through concealed tears. "Yeah, it's me."

She manages to catch his torso when his arm gives out and she eases him back to the floor as Poe reapplies his red hands to Ben's side again. 

Ben coughs once, and the blood runs from his mouth as he raises his head to look at the cause of the new pressure. It looks like it takes a while before his gaze finally focuses on Poe.

"You're late, Dameron." He slurs as his head falls back again.

Poe smirks, sending a hopeful look to Rey- both of them surprised and thankful at Ben's ability to still crack a joke, even if it's said through blood-stained teeth. 

"Yeah, well," Poe retorts with a disbelieving shake of his head. "You were late first. We had a meeting, remember?"

Ben huffs something that Rey knows can't be a laugh. "W-wasn't planning on c-coming anyway-" She's picked up on the way he's started to shake. "Logistics meetings always b-blow."

Poe manages to keep the worry out of his voice as he replies, applying more pressure to the wound beneath his palms as blood slips past his fingers. "Yeah, I figured as much. Asshole." He lets out a shaky exhale. "How are you awake right now?" Poe says under his breath. More to himself than anyone else.

"Doesn't h-hurt." Ben mumbles.

The other man scoffs. "Glad to see your stubbornness isn't in short supply."

Ben shakes his head- or at leat he tries to. "No... I can't- the-" he blinks a few times, and Rey can practically see the way he has to fight to form words. "The stims- I... I can't actually-"

Rey doesn't know what happened first: the sudden stop to Ben's words, or the explosion from above.

A shower of sparks and wave of heat is fixed down on them in the blast's wake and Rey instinctively shields Ben. Poe tries his best to shield her but he's still trying to maintain the pressure on his friends wound. 

A metal beam groans above them before it breaks away from the ceiling, landing with an explosion of sparks and flame that results in the crumbling of the floor at the far end of the hanger.

Rey hears Poe curse under his breath once the room stops trembling, shaking sparks from his hair once the two withdraw from Ben. 

Ben's heavy-lidded eyes have glazed over again and Rey hates the way she has to jostle him to keep him awake.

"We need to get out of here." She says to Poe as she hastily unwinds the fabric from her wrists. She hands the material of her right to Poe: he caught on quickly to her intentions and his hand is there to meet hers- the blood on his hands staining the fabric red even before it placed to the wound.

It takes Ben what looks like three tries before he speaks again. "He dead?"

Rey had started in the material of her other wrist when he asks and Rey's attention moves towards the prone form of The Head. Rey had seen what Ben had done in those last few seconds before he collapsed and it looks like his actions are beginning to show: tremors wrack The Head's otherwise motionless body and white foam has begun to mix with blood as suppressant runs from his mouth. Rey scowls at him, almost angry that she couldn't of ended the man herself. Unlike Ben, that man deserves what's he's going through and despite her almost vengeful thoughts, she's glad that it was Ben that delivered the final blow. It was closure of the more extreme kind, but it seemed the only fitting end- even if Ben did lose himself a little along the way. 

She grabs Poe's blaster from his hip and and shoots the man in the stomach for good measure. She's pleased that he still has feeling enough to flinch. If the overdose didn't kill him, that bolt would.

"He's getting there." She replies, letting the spite slip into her words as she returns the blaster to Poe's side.

A rather shocked looking Poe has bundled the long strips together and presses it hard against Ben's bloodied abdomen. It's soaked through by the time Rey's finished unwinding the rest from her other wrist.

Rey doesn't need to tell Poe what to do next when she doesn't hand him the rest of the fabric, instead he's already moving. 

Still keeping as much pressure on the wound as he can, Poe manoeuvres Ben into an upright position so she can wrap the remaining material around Ben's waist in the hope that the bundled fabric remains in place. 

It works, at least for now. It's a lot less than Ben needs but that would also apply to everything they can do for him until they can get him to a bacta tank. 

Rey searches for the pulse at his neck, despite his semiconscious state, from where his head lulls against Poe's shoulder and is thankful when she feels the rapid but weak beat beneath her fingertips.

Another explosion reminds her that they're pushed for time in more ways that one. 

She shares an urgent look with Poe and he nods. She turns her attention back to Ben, and his eyes become slightly more alert as she presses her palm to his cheek.

"We've got to go now Ben, but you're going to have to work with us. Well do most of the walking for you but you've got to stay on your feet." She brushes a thumb against his cheekbone. "Standing's all I ask."

It would stupid to call it a small ask, given Ben's current state and the singular nod that he gives in return is in no way reassuring- the gesturing alone looks draining enough that, had Rey been none the wiser, she'd think he'd just come back from a week long mission.

She presses a kiss to his brow before she and Poe move in tandem. She moves to to Ben's right side, and Poe to his left. She carefully loops his right arm around her shoulders, despite knowing that it shouldn't be moved at all, and Poe does the same at his other side.

Ben's already tensing in anticipation when Rey speaks. "Okay, on three."

Poe seems to tighten his grip on Ben's arm and Rey does the same. She can feel the way Ben holds his breath.

"One, two-"

She'd never say she was grateful for Ben's reckless overdose on stims, but she sure was glad that he couldn't feel the way his injures should protest against the manhandling as they haul him to his feet.

Ben's weight weighs heavy on the both of them as he tries to find his footing and it lessens only slightly when he manages to keep it. His breath coming only in harsh pants through his gritted teeth as his body is reminded of its every fault through a series of uncomfortable tugging sensation is place of the pain he should be feeling.

"You good buddy?" Poe asks after Ben's breathing evens out a little. Like Rey, he's got a steading hand placed at his friend's back.

Ben doesn't reply. He's got his eyes squeezed shut as red bleeds though his teeth and it takes until Rey speaks before they get any response from him.

"Ben?" She rubs her thumb across the inside of his wrist and he cracks an eye open.

One hardly reassuring nod later, the three of them are making to exit the hanger. They're not covering ground quickly but that's to be expected: both her and Poe weren't exactly tall, but when standing beside Ben, the height difference becomes reasonably noticeable. And it makes trying to carry him especially difficult. But right now, she just happy that he can manage standing.

They leave the burning room, and the now motionless body of The Head, behind them without so much as a backward glance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LIIIIIIIVVVVEEEE!
> 
> Really sorry about the wait guys, the amounting school work that I've been neglecting needed (and still needs) to be dealt with, BUT FRET NOT, FOR I HAVE RETURNED.
> 
> And I bring an offering of angst.
> 
> To those of you still reading, I HOPED YOU ENJOYED :)


	27. Chapter 27

The detour Rey and Poe had been forced to take was no longer assessable- in that it wasn't actually there anymore: taken by a huge explosion that she was both surprised and grateful that they weren't in the blast-radius of. Gratefulness aside, they were now faced with the trouble of having to find another route, a longer way round that would surely push them to the very boundaries of time they could afford to spare. 

Ben was getting heavier with each passing second, his increasingly unsteady legs loosing balance each time his footing faltered. Each intake of breath becoming more sharp, more laboured, as they pushed further down the maze of corridors and Rey was becoming very wary of the way his breathing had started to hitch at irregular intervals and how he was begging to wince as they trekked over the progressively uneven ground.

They're turning a corner when an explosion down the hall blows through a wall and panelling is sent flying in their direction.

It almost misses them completely if not for the stray part that catches Rey's side. The blunt impact jars against her hip and she stumbles sideways, loosing her grip on Ben's arm as she catches herself on the wall.

Ben can't conceal the pained cry that escapes him as Rey's support leaves him and the muscles long his right side are pulled taught, his protesting ribs screaming in his chest as Poe fights to keep them both standing.

Rey hurriedly composes herself, reciting a string of panicked apologies as she ducks under his arm again, slinging it back around her shoulders and reliving Poe of Ben's full weight in turn. The two of them share a distressing look over the man sagging between them.

Ben can't spare the energy to spit the blood from his mouth so instead it just drips freely from his parted lips. He tries and fails to lift his head as he speaks between pants. "S'fine."

Rey doesn't think it's the right time to scold him on his poor choice get of words, so instead they start moving again.

Ben's groaning with every step and the makeshift bandaging at his abdomen has begun to falter when the sound of blaster fire finally reaches them: Rey can't recall ever sighing in relief at the sounds of conflict.

Poe seems to stand straighter at the noise and he betters his hold on Ben. "Falcon's not far buddy, almost there."

Ben groans something incoherent.

Rey lets out a shaky exhale when she sees her friends after a final turn if a corner. Rose and Finn are held up behind what remains of a door and though she can't see Chewie, she can here the fire of his bowcaster a little further down the corridor.

Rose is already turning to the staggering trio when Rey calls her name, and it looks like she might be about to sigh in relief at the fact that all her friends are in one piece, until she sees Ben- and her expression turns grim.

Finn had been focused on trying to aim his next shot on a particularly diligent masked guy when Rose whacks him on the shoulder, her eyes never leaving the man hanging between them. Finn looks to her before he follows her gaze and goes through a similar process as Rose: his expression clearly moving from a state of _thank fuck_ , to, _oh fuck_ , in a matter of seconds. Then he's rising to his feet as he shouts over his shoulder. "Chewie! We gotta go!"

Rose's eyes don't leave Ben as she helps Finn to his feet and her skin seems to loose a colour.

Rose was the only one out of all of them that possessed any commendable medical knowledge. Rey doesn't know when or how she learnt it, but it didn't surprise her when she found out: it was just another skill to add to the amounting list of things Rose Tico could do. So she doesn't find it at all comforting when their medic's eyes move to hers with a small shake of her head, almost like an apology, a simple gesture that says: _there's no way he's making it home_.

That's puts a barrier straight through Rey's train of thought. It had never actually occurred to her that Ben might not make it through this, that he might not be coming home, and even the notion makes a lump form in her throat. 

But this wasn't just a notion. 

It wasn't a theory, or a thought, and it was begging to look like it isn't even a maybe. It was borderline fact at this point.

With every passing second and every forward step, Rey becomes more aware of Ben's strength leaving him and all of a sudden, the only thing she can't hear is his ragged breath. The only thing she can feel is his blood seeping into her clothes, the wetness accompanied by the metallic tang in the air- and as she looks down, all she can see is red. 

Everything about this situation was pointing towards her waking up tomorrow in a bed meant for two but occupied only by one.

There was no factor here that pointed towards Ben surviving this. With the exception of one- he's Ben.

He's the most resilient, reckless, idiotic and all around most _stubborn_ man she'd ever met, and on top of all that: he's a Solo. And Rey had heard enough stories, witnessed enough schemes and sure as hell has been a part of enough insane situations to know that it's never a good idea to tell a Solo the odds.

So she swallows that lump in her throat and gives a defiant shake of her head in Rose's direction as she and Poe move to drag Ben over a corpse blocking their path.

Chewie makes himself known with a sounding growl that makes Rey glad that he's on their side. She doesn't know if the he took a look down the hall towards them or if just picked up the panic in Finn's voice but either way, it looked like he seemed to understand the sudden increase in urgency as he open fires on a group of enemies- knocking down all six of them in the process and subsequently clearing their exit.

Finn jogs ahead, as much as his bad leg will allow, to catch up with their hairy battering ram at the same time that Rose doubles back towards them, matching pace alongside the stumbling three who move only as fast as the slowest of them allows. She's rifling through her bag as she speaks, voice as panicked as expected. "Holy hells, Rey, Finn told me he was in a bad way so I expect a mess but-" she looks to Ben again before turning her attention back to her satchel. "He's _really_ in a bad way"

There's an explosion behind them and the floor groans in warning as the not so clear surface begins to melt away. 

Much to Ben's dislike, they hasten their advance.

Poe grunts as he adjusts his hold on the arm around his shoulders. "Tall, dark and brooding here may now only be referred to as tall, dark and ow." He has to duck to avoid a burst pipe spitting hot steam at his level. "Because lets face it, at this point, you could write a whole double page spread about the state of our guy right now. And I'm talking _small_ text: none of this size sixteen font bullshit that Finn insists on using- I'm talking size nine, _at the most._ "

She's glad Ben can send a growl in his direction.

Though she appreciates Poe's unconvincing attempt to lighten the mood, it's lost to the noticeable higher pitch to his voice and the impending panic weighing on them. 

Out of the corner of her eye, Rey can't see Rose pulling out two stims from the depths of her satchel and but she and Poe splutter out words of protest when she they catch on to their medic's otherwise harmless intent.

Rose looks taken aback as she hastily withdraws her hand. "What?" She asks, face drawn with urgent confusion.

Rey gives a brief but detailed explanation of every drug in currently in Ben's system, to which Rose returns the injectables to her bag with a look almost akin to disgust. "But out of everything," she continues. "Blood loss will get him first-."

Blasterfire ahead of them cuts her off but Rose already has clean gauss in her hand and she manages to secure it in place of the other at Ben's abdomen as they move. 

Rey slips her grip from around his wrist to his hand as his palm clenches against Rose's administrations, his fingers wrapping around hers as he groans.

They turn the next corner and it opens up to another vast hanger. Rey thinks she might cry when her eyes settle on the Falcon parked near its mouth.

Two bodies lay at the foot of the ramp where BB-8 stands vigil, small taser outstretched and Rey can hear the droids happy beeping as he sees them all enter the hanger. He spins in a small circle before he starts towards them, mechanical whirring echoing off the high ceilings.

"Chewie! Take Ben."

Rey's attention was brought back from the horizon as Poe shouts. 

Both Finn and the wookiee had just finished taking out the last of the masked guy's, and the both of them turn back to the remainder of their group when the conflict finishes- Chewie already starting towards them.

It seems that where Rey had been focusing on how close they were to sanctuary, Poe had been noticing how far they still had to walk across the hanger. With the last stretch put into perspective, it was safe to assume that everyone here wanted out- now. 

Chewie slowed from his jog as he reached them and both Rey and Poe pulled away from the man between them once they were sure he could stand- if only for a second.

"Watch his-" Rey's words stalled, she stopped herself at the realisation that the only way to end that sentence was with 'everything'.

It seemed the wookiee didn't care how she finished the sentence as he gently pulls Ben into his arms, softly spoken growls leaving him as Ben cries out against every pull of his flesh and grind of his bones and Rey can't help but feel uneasy that he's no longer at her side.

"Straight to medical, Chewie!" Rose calls after him as she moves to Finn's side, offering him herself to lean on- the ex-stormtrooper's leg having begun to bleed again. 

"No, go with Ben." Finn says as he waves her off. "He needs your help more than I do."

Rey's about to step in and carry him herself, but Poe beats her to the chase, not bothering to ask if Finn needed the help as he slings the man's arm around his shoulders and wraps one of his around his waist. "I've got him." He glances over his shoulder when the back wall grumbles. BB-8 has reached them by now and has begun to spin in worried circles around them as Poe continues. "You guys go, we'll catch up."

Rey doesn't need to be told twice and she gives the Generals a nod before she sprints for the Falcon, Rose hot on her heels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay!! We're finally exiting the pain house- oh wait, what's that? On the horizon, is tha- OH SHIT, ITS MORE PAIN.
> 
> Next chapter is pain for Ben: medical edition!
> 
> HOPE YOU ENJOYED:)


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D

There's an explosion from behind them that sounds big enough to blow out the stretch of hall they'd just been running through when Rey's boots clang against the ramp of the Falcon. She'd never been so glad to take in the overwhelming smell of oil and leather that assaults her senses as she enters the ship, her pace never slowing as she follows the trail of Ben's blood down the hall to the the medbay.

She assumes Rose is still trailing behind her but she doesn't turn to check as she flys down the corridor. She has to grip the doorframe to slow herself as she spins into the room just in time to see Chewie lowering Ben onto the surgical table against the back wall, offering soft growls of comfort that Rey can't make out before reluctantly turning away from the closest thing he has to family and rushing from the room.

Ben seems to curl in on himself as much as his battered form will allow as she enters the room. Her hands unconsciously going to his face as she crouches to his level, brushing his hair away from his sweat drenched forehead as her eyes glance over him. When she speaks she's surprised at the steadiness of her own words. "How you doing, my love?" 

In no ways did Ben look better, despite no longer being dragged, but it seems as though his mind had cleared enough for him to string a sentence together, giving a singular shake of his head as he speaks, his voice hoarse and face creased in pain as he wraps his good arm around his ribs. "Not too great... a-actually."

Rey tries her best not to grimace. Those words coming from a man who doesn't usually have the vocabulary for anything past 'I'm fine' in instants like these, doesn't exactly put her at rest.

"Yeah," she smiles sadly as she smoothes away a strand of his hair that got stuck in the drying blood. "I gathered as much."

It turns out Rose had been further behind than Rey had originally thought, as she only just enters the room.

"Geez you're fast." She pants, her pace never stopping as she ditches her bag at the door and moves to the storage unit across the room, immediately opening draw after draw in search for whatever she seeks.

The Falcon's medical bay was small: every unit and surface was compact in a way that left only the minimum amount of space needed to actually conduct medical care. It had been on Rey and Ben's to do list for a while now to get rid of the medical-droid port in the corner of the room that took up a ridiculous amount of space, but it was another thing that they'd both put off as neither of them wanted to go through the effort of trying to fit it through the door. The lack of space meant that a lot of storage was piled precariously on top of each other and Rose has to fight to keep a particularly wobbly unit from falling on her as she rifles through a draw.

Rey is surprised that the Falcon is this well stocked considering it had virtually been empty for the last month. She supposes the now overflowing draws are down to an over-panicky Poe who decided it's probably best if they raid half the medical supplies back home before they left- but, frankly, Rey thinks they might need all of it.

By this point, Rose has collected a small arsenal that Rey can only refer to as medical _stuff_ \- she has no idea what half of it is but apparently Rose does, so that's enough for her. 

Their medic dumps her cargo on a small table she's wheeled from somewhere, and lets out a long exhale as she shakes her hands out in a gesture that Rey had come to know as a signal that Rose was about to enter _medic-mode._

"Okay," she says, her eyes fixed on the now red gauss at Ben's side. "Well this isn't working. Rey I'm gonna need your hands."

Rey is reluctant to remove her hands from Ben's hair but she doesn't hesitate to rise as she awaits Rose's instructions.

A fistful of thick padding is pressed to her palm and she doesn't need to be told what to do next as Rose removes the bloodied gauss from the wound.

Ben groans as Rey applies pressure and she can feel how his body tenses under her hands.

Apologies spill from her mouth as she presses harder.

Down the hall, she hears the tell-tale whir of BB-8 rolling up the Falcon's ramp followed by a shout from Poe informing Chewie that they were all on board. 

The wookiee growls something in response but it's lost to an explosion that shakes the ship.

The Falcon jolts suddenly and both Rey and Rose move to grab the table. She can hear BB-8 screaming down the hall as her blood-slick hands struggle to grip the metal as it rattles with the aftershock and one of the precariously balanced storage units falls to the floor behind them.

The blast passes and Rey's hands move straight back to Ben. The blood that had escaped in those few seconds had flowed down his side and was pooling on the table. The red liquid saturating his shirt making it harder for her to maintain the pressure.

"Okay Ben," Rose starts, having fully recovered from the blast. "So at this point, I'd usually give you a sedative and something _ridiculously_ strong for the pain but-"  
The content of the fallen storage unit now covers the floor and she leaves Rey's side to look through it as she speaks. "-you're coming down from an overdose on stimulants and on top of that, you're still under the affects of that other drug they gave so even if you hadn't taken the stims, I wouldn't feel comfortable with giving you anything without knowing the full content of that other drug."

Ben only seems to be half listening and Rey can see the way his jaw is works in response to his increasingly decreasing state.

Finn and Poe stumble through the door as Rose rises. 

"Ah, Poe!" Their medic says thankfully. "Just in time. Come be my nurse."

"I can't." Poe says apologetically as he deposits Finn on a chair inside the door before gathering up some stray gauss from the mess at their feet. "I've got to co-pilot so we can get out of here." 

He's trying, unsuccessfully to open the clear packet and in the end Finn just grabs it from him, waving off his fussing. "I've got it, go pilot."

" _Co-pilot_." Poe corrects, kissing fiancé before he makes for the door. "I'll be right back." He says to the room before shouting over his shoulder. "Don't kill Ben!"

Rey's attention is back on the blood rising though her fingers but she can hear Finn hiss behind her as he tightens the material, now successfully out of the packet, around his leg. She's surprised when she hears him rise.

"What needs doing?" He offers as he limps across the small room.

Rose looks up from what she's doing and frowns worriedly at Finn, looking between his face and his leg as she speaks. "You sure?"

Finn just rolls up his sleeves and moves to stand at Rey's side. "It's my leg that's busted, my hands work just fine."

"Take Rey's place then." Rose says as she battles with some tubing.

Rey doesn't question why the change is necessary as she and Finn carefully change positions, the both of them trying their hardest to assure as little blood escapes as possible. 

Rose speaks again once they've successfully swapped.

"Rey, I need you to go get me a blood pack from the fridge."

Rey frowns. "The fridge?"

Finn's expression is similar. "As in the _kitchen_ fridge? With the food?"

Rose's focus is still on the tubing as she replies. "It's the only one on the ship, so yes, the _kitchen_ fridge." She turns to Ben. "Ben, what's your blood type?"

Her patient had been relatively quiet these last few minutes and he has to unclench his jaw to speak. "Ab."

"Negative?"

" _Positive._ " He says through his teeth as Finn pushes a little harder.

Finn still looks a little disgusted at his knew knowledge. "Does Poe know you're keeping blood in the fridge?"

"Ab positive Rey, and no, he doesn't. And I have no intention of him ever knowing, so let's keep it quiet shall we?"

Rey takes one last look at Ben before she bolts from the room. She's out the door before Rose finishes addressing Finn's question.

She passes a bisected BB-8 on here way there- that last blast obviously having been to much for him- but judging by Poe's failure to mention it, she's guessing he's repairable.

She almost crashes into the counter as she slides into the Falcon's small kitchenette. If the room had been affected by the shock of the blast, she didn't notice, all of her attention is focused on getting the fridge door open. It unseals with a hiss and the forever-faulting light inside it blinks at her as she crouches to inspect the large box of dark red packs. A shelf had been removed to make room for it but Rey has to pull the whole thing out to get the lid off.

There must be at least thirty in there so she's grateful for the box's clear sides which show a bag with 'Ab' printed across its front. She spends no longer than five seconds panicking over wether Ben said he was positive or negative before she's sees sense and brings them both.

She's panting slightly by the time she returns to the medical bay and Rose takes the compatible blood type from her. Rey tosses the other to the side before sliding past a still vigilant Finn so she can stand at the head of the table.

In the short time she'd been gone, what was left of Ben's ruined shirt had been removed to show the full extent of his injuries from where he now lies flat against the table: a lot of the blood that had been previously concealed by the dark material now stood out starkly against his colourless skin- his pallor pale, and yet somehow paling as every beat of his frantic heart pumps more blood from his body sending red through Finn's fingers. The lack of cover also puts the bruising along his right side on full display, that black mass that had now expanded up past his ribs mixes and blends with the mottled reds and purples across his chest.

Rey rests a hand against Ben's uninjured shoulder as Finn curses under his breath.

"Rose, this isn't working. There's just too much."

Rose is attaching the tubing to the now hanging blood pack as he speaks, her fingers following the line to its end once one is connected to the other. "Just give me a second."

Finn's looks to the blood that's been coating his hands for some time now, shaking his head. "I don't think we've got a whole lot of those right now."

Once she's found the end of the tubing, Rose attaches a pretty heavy-duty looking needle to the end of it and waits a second for the blood to travel to it before bringing it to Ben's arm.

Even in his semiconscious haze, Ben manages to pull his arm away from the hands approaching in an attempt to put distance between him and the small pointed instrument that so often done much more bad for him than good. 

Rey scolds herself for only now piecing together the reasoning behind Ben's 'irrational' fear of needles.

His actions don't get him any further than pressing his arm flush against his side but the movement is enough to draw a wince from him.

Rose withdraws slightly in response, unsure of the correct way to approach. In the end she just looks to Rey.

Rey doesn't need to think as she moves in, kneeling to press her cheek to the side of Ben's head as she gently rubs circles across the unmarred skin at his shoulder in the hope that her touch will calm his frantic thoughts.

"It's just blood, Ben." She murmurs softly at his ear. "Just blood, nothing else. No one here's going to hurt you." Her words seem to calm him, but his arm remains in place until she speaks again, her voice soft. "I _promise_."

There's a second in which Ben remains unwilling and Rey is really beginning to worry that they might actually have to do this without his say and she's trying not to think about the countless repercussions that something like that could cause, when he reluctantly pulls his arm away from his side: blackened palm upturned in a silent offer.

Rey looks to Rose and finds the medic looking at her, as if she's waiting for her approval. 

She nods to her before sliding her hand down Ben's arm, stopping it at his elbow as Rose lowers the needle to the crook of his arm, the point hovering above until Rey nods again and it breaks through to skin.

Ben doesn't wince- or at least not at the needle. He just eyes the instrument with caution he can't control before forcing his eyes shut, trying his very best to focus his thoughts on Rey's touch at the inside of his arm. Trying to pay attention to the leisurely circles she's stroking on his skin.

"Right then," Rose tapes the needle in place before she straightens. "Transfusion: done. Really we should of warmed it first, but again with the timing." She tries to meet Ben's eyes but they remain closed. "Just tell us if you start to feel cold."

"I'm cold." Ben points out almost bitterly, not bothering to open his eyes.

Rose raises a worried eyebrow. "Hypothermia kind of cold?" She's asking Ben but she's looking to Rey.

The Jedi's hand had moved up his arm again and was resting on a unburnt and surprisingly unbruised part of Ben's chest, finding solace in the beat of his heart beneath her palm. Rey meets Rose's eyes and shakes her head softly, because the feverish heat radiating off the man beneath her touch suggested that he definitely wasn't cold. Either way, Rey automatically scans the disarray of the room for a blanket.

Rose lets out a silent exhale as she adds 'fever' to to the growing list of things she has to deal with, brushing her bangs from her forehead and leaving a small red smudge on her brow in the process. She waves a hand in Ben's direction. "You'll be fine," she lies unconvincingly. "Nothing to worry about."

Rey's still searching gaze goes to Finn when he raises his eyes from his red-stained hands and turns his head to the doorway, and the corridor beyond it, his ears having picked up on the heavy footsteps before she had. A moment later Poe fills the doorway and his panting fills the room.

"We're out of the woods for now," he breathes. "but Chewie's still trying to get us out of range in case the ship decides to blow. How we doing?"

It was a question Rey had been trying to find the nerve to ask since Rose started, so she listens eagerly as their medic explains.

"Uh, well, we should be stable for now in regards to the blood: he's gaining as much as he's loosing now so if he dies, it won't be from blood-loss."

Finn scowls at their medic when he notes Rey's reaction to the not so comforting comment.

Rose catches his gaze and rushes to form another sentence. "N-not that he's going to die! Because he won't. Isn't that right Ben?"

Ben makes a barely distinguishable 'uh huh' to which Rose nods eagerly.

"You see, he's fine."

"You sure?" Poe questions from where he's moved to stand at Finn's side, still a little breathless from recent events. "I mean, he's not looking so hot right n-" he's silenced by a not so discreet kick from Finn who's starting to think he's the only one capable of reading a room.

Poe's still wincing as he follows Finn's indicating gesture to Rey, the Jedi having pressed her face to Ben's hair. Her eyes shining with tears she's too stubborn to let slip. The slower General straightens as he tries to gather words. "I-I mean, you look great! Not at all un-hot. In fact you're looking quite... uh-the opposite, of... un-hot. The gaping hole in your stomach really brings out-"

Poe continues to spill pointless sentences but Rey's attention moves to Rose as she momentarily lifts Finn's now red hands to inspect the carnage he'd been concealing. Red continues to pump out in lazy waves from within the warped flesh and their medic makes a face before lowering Finn's hands again.

"- and this _lighting_ \- it's really working wonders for-"

"Poe." Rose says as she passes Finn some clean gauss.

"Yes?" 

"Shut up."

The General just nods. "Ma'am."

Rey notes the shudder that passes through the man beneath her palm and Ben groans, the sound accompanied by a mouthful of blood that escapes his gritted teeth.

Rose gives an uneasy sigh. "As much as it pains me to say it, idiot over there might have a point."

Poe looks a little offended but finds himself unable to disagree.

Rose continues. "Blood loss is one thing, but _that_ -" She nods at the black mass at Ben's side. "-is an entirely different issue, and one that I'm not willing to mess with. Knowledge of field medicine didn't exactly stretch far enough to cover drug-induced organ failure. Best case scenario would be a bacta tank- five hours ago- but we're not near any planets that have those kind of facilities-"

"But Naboo's not that far and they've got a ridiculous amount of-" Rey's own interruption is cut off.

"Rey, we can't go to Naboo." Rose says.

"But it's literally right round the corner-"

She's cut off again, but this time it's Ben's shredded voice that stops her. 

" _Rey_." He's rolled his head to meat her eyes with a hooded gaze. "We c-can't go to Naboo." He tries to blink the blur from his vision. " _I_ can't go to Naboo."

She tried to keep her anger stowed but her opinions of the once great planet were no mystery.

Naboo was one of the frustratingly many palanets that were still to accept the fact that Kylo Ren was gone, that Ben Solo had killed him. Like every other planet within the First Order's reach, they too had been effected by the war- but the hatred the citizens of Naboo harboured towards Ben was on a more personal level. 

They had never truly forgiven the death of Leia and they still put the blame on Ben- their deep rooted decision that remained steadfast despite the information that directly told them otherwise. She knows it hurts Ben to be exiled from his own planet but it was more so that fact that he was exiled from his own _home_ that really did damage. And as per usual, anything that hurt Ben made Rey angry- dangerously so.

She breathes deeply thorough her nose, gripping at a leg of the table and rests her head against his. Her next question directed at no one in particular. "What about Crait?"

"It was stripped before we got there." Finn explains. "And we took what was left to Ajan Kloss. We won't find anything there."

"Well what do we do then?" She pleads, dragging her head from Ben in favour of looking up to direct the question at Rose- desperation slipping into her words.

There's a few seconds of silence in which Rose thinks, visibly warring with herself as she tries to find an answer- or avoid one. She comes to what looks like a reluctant decision. "Okay, there's this one thing that I'd really prefer not resorting to because it's killed twenty people-"

"What!" Rey splutters in unison with the two Generals.

"-but it's worked- on occasion- but it's only supposed to be used in the worst of situations and, I'm sorry, but I'd be lying if I said this didn't fit that description."

Three out of the four other people in the room are still recovering from the part that their medic had seemed to just skip over. "What do you men twenty people have died!"

Rose raises her hand in surrender. "Look I'm not saying this is without its downfalls-"

" _Downfalls_!"

"But we're really out of options here and by doing this, it's only possible death as opposed to the almost certain death we're currently facing."

The following pause should be filled with a stony silence but Ben's scratchy voice breaks it. "Okay."

All heads turn to him, one of which looks particularly angered.

" _Okay_?" Rey almost shouts. "What do you mean by _okay_? This is not okay, Ben!"

"I'm dying a-already... Rey." He smiles that fucking smile. "It c-can't get much worse than that."

Rey stares at him like he's speaking another language and Poe throws his hands up in exasperation. "Well you've jinxed it now, asshole!"

Finn kicks him again.

Rose gingerly raises a hand. "Maybe I should explain a little more."

Rey crosses her arms. "Please do."

Rose takes a breath before starting. "So the drugs busted what looks like Ben's liver, which if not fixed will kill him, we know this, and although I can't fix this, I can maybe put it on hold." She looks to those around her, waiting for a reaction.

Finn, like everyone else, look quizzical. "Elaborate?"

Rose looks pained and starts towards a set of draws that remained stationary when the others hadn't. "I'm not sure how much elaborating I can do." The room watches as she crouches down and starts searching through the lowest shelf. "It's a drug produced from a by-product of bacta that initially stops organ growth. Originally it was supposed to stop tumours from growing but in this instance, it could work to stop the spread of whatever's going on with Ben." She shrugs. "Theoretically."

"Is 'theoretically' good enough... to go by?" Ben grunts.

"Not really." Rose says before she makes an appreciative noise and reaches into the back of the draw. Her hand is equipped with a small jar of sickly looking yellow liquid. She turns back to the table with an almost apologetic gaze. " _Theoretically_ , it could put you in a coma, or blind you, or kill you. This thing has had countless side-affects of the not so great kind, but it has worked before- without any of those. But we won't know how you react to it until we try and right now, we don't have a hell of a lot of choices."

Rey frowns at Ben. "You still sure about this? Because i'm really not."

He just nods.

Rose stands, rapidly trying to change the subject as she starts to gather the supplies required. "Any of you any good at stitches? That stab wound needs closing before it gets a patch."

Rey shakes her head as Finn nods. "Nothing special, but I can do it."

Rose pushes her bangs from her face again as she searches the mess of the floor. "Okay then, you're on stitches duty. Poe?"

He's mocks a shaky salute "At your service."

"Theres a flat, blue box in one of these draws."

"Uhh..." he says as he moves across the room and begins opening untits.

Rey waits for instruction but it doesn't come. "What should I do?"

"Keep him awake."

Rey nods and rubs at Ben's good shoulder. "I can do that." In the back of her mind, she's aware of her knees beginning to protest against kneeling for so long but she pushes it away. "You get that Ben? Staying awake, you think you can't do that?"

Ben just grunts and pushes gently into her touch.

She's pressing a kiss to his forehead as Poe's mumbling reaches her ears.

"You're flat but not blue. You're blue but not fla- Oh wait!" He pulls out a small box matching Rose's description and holds it up to her in question. "Flat and blue?"

Rose looks up. "That's the one. Give it to Finn."

Poe's back at Finn's side in seconds and offers the General the box.

Finn looks at the box, then to his hands, and then to Poe. "Yeah, your gonna have to-"

Poe is slow to connect the dots but he's soon looking to Finn's bloodied hands and trying not to think about what lies beneath it. He frowns in disgust. "Oh gods, no- _really_?"

Rey imagines Poe would like to protest for a little longer but Finn's hands are already moving. "Really."

Poe's own hands dart forward as the blood begins to flow again. He takes a quick glance down to check he's actually doing his job correctly before taking in a sharp breath and fixing his gaze on the ceiling. "I've done way to much of this today."

"Oh boo fucking... hoo." Ben bites out against the sensation of new pressure, screwing his eyes shut against it.

Rey can't help but smile a little at Ben's impossible energy and Poe bites off his chuckle in favour of snapping back. "You hit the nail on the head there, Solo. You and your audacious habit for pulling stunts like these have ruined not two, but fucking _three_ , of my favourite shirts. This makes four. You owe me, asshole."

Rey's watching Finn prep the suture kit as Ben drawls around a mouthful of blood. 

"I don't owe you s-shit."

Poe scoffs as he shuffles on his feet to make room for Finn who's dragged a lamp down from the ceiling and positions it over Poe's hands. "I beg to differ, buddy."

Rey thinks Ben's about to reply but Finn beats him to it, bottle of clear liquid in hand. "I'm assuming this needs disinfecting. Rose?" He calls over his shoulder.

"Definitely!" Its said from down the hall. None of them had noticed her leave, nor are they aware of why she decided this was a good time to do it, but no one asks.

Finn looks like he's about to question her absence but just shrugs instead, turning back to the task at hand. "I'm guessing you know what that means, Ben. I'm gonna start stitching right after so we can get this done fast."

Poe discreetly moves to press some of his weight across Ben's thighs at the same time that Rey pushes a little harder against his good shoulder. Broken ribs and busted shoulders aside- not forgetting quickly decaying organs- there was no scenario where this wouldn't be painful, but Rey knows it'll be a lot worst if Ben starts thrashing.

Ben just seems to accept his fate, letting out a shaky sigh as Finn speaks again.

"You ready?"

Ben grimaces before using his good arm to draw his right across his chest, effectively bracing the still freshly displaced joint. He winces at the friction on the burns and the pressure on his rib cage, but manages to release a half-hearted, "Sure."

Finn glances at Rey, then to Poe, giving his Co-General a nod before the hands are gone and the disinfectant meets the wound.

Whatever strength remained in Ben was used then as the clear liquid mixed with the blood as it cascades down his side. Filtering in and flushing out the jagged edges of the wound.

Ben lets out a hiss the morphs into a loud groan and Rey stands, preparing to press her whole weight against his shoulder as he instinctively moves to rise, but his torso doesn't make it an inch of the table before he chokes on a shout as his broken bones are jostled. He draws in uneven and wet breaths through his teeth, instead resorting to pushing back against the table, his boots shifting against the metal despite Poe's best efforts to keep his legs from moving.

Finn apologises as he wipes away the blending liquids and douses the wound again, all the while assuring him that this is the worst bit- it's all downhill from here onwards.

Rey sinks back to Ben's level once she's sure he's not about to roll off the table, and shifts his damp hair from his forehead, reiterating Finn's assurances in his ear as shaky breaths escape his blood coated lips along with a steady but thin line of blood.

She spares a glance her left, to the mess that covers the floor. She presses a gentle hand to Ben's still shaking shoulder, unwilling to break contact, and reaches for one of the many stray packs of gauss- catching its corner between two fingers and dragging it towards her before pealing it open with her teeth.

Ben's frown has grown deeper and his breath more strained by the time she uses the material to wipe at the blood running from his mouth and he's groaning again when Finn finally announces that the wound has been successfully cleaned.

"That was great, man." Finn commends with a smile of encouragement as Poe passes him an already threaded needle. "You did good."

Ben doesn't respond, just continues to force himself to follow up each painful breath with another, trying to move as little as possible except to press his face into Rey's hand that continues to catch the blood running across his jaw.

"Stitches are next, Ben." Finn says as he leans in with the needle. "And they're not nearly as bad."

Ben grunts in response, though it may have been from pain, but otherwise doesn't put up a fight against the needle breaking his skin, apart from to hiss at the pulling sensation on the still tender wound that makes his body tense.

Finn's on the third stitch when Rose appears at the table syringe in hand. Rey didn't hear her enter but raises her head from Ben's shoulder when she registers the medic- and the syringe she wields. Rey tries not to glare at the yellow liquid inside it that may or may not yet be responsible for the death of the thing most important to her.

She bites her lip when Ben groans again at the thread tugging at his flesh, pressing his temple to the metal surface beneath him as the sensation courses through him. His right fist clenches where it lies against the burnt skin at his chest so Rey slides her palm into his, hesitating slightly when she finds his palm blackened with burns but threads his fingers with her own when he makes a barley distinguishable grabbing motion.

He lets out an exhausted sigh that seems to shudder through his whole body as his eyes open to the best of his ability. His hooded gaze settling on their intertwined hands- on her bloodied fingers wrapped around his own.

Rey wonders what he's thinking when as he drags his tired gaze from their hands to her face. Wonders what he's feeling as Rose hovers the syringe above his arm. But mostly, she wonders how she got stuck with a man stubborn enough to smile at her as the needle breaks his skin- and how she'd grown stubborn enough to smile back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why hello there! It's been a while!
> 
> Sorry about the wait for those of you that have been anticipating this mess of fluff and pain, but here it is!!
> 
> As per usual, we had Ben in pain, Rey being worried, Rose being incredibly helpful, Finn being the only sane one and Poe being the opposite of that.
> 
> HOPE YOU ENJOYED MY USUAL BULLSHIT!!! :)
> 
> But seriously, if you're still here I love you :)


End file.
